auuughhh! Rick Reilly actually summed up my point about pat tillman really well. i can't post a link since you have to subscribe to Sports Illustrated to see it, but i'll quote his last two sentences:

be proud that sports produce men like this. but i, for one, am furious that these wars keep taking them.

this still doesn't change my opinion that rick reilly licks my balls.

turns out someone agrees with my opinion about pat tillman (scroll down to the bottom, i can't seem to get the permalink to send you to the top of the page). this person's argument is that tillman is a Rambo, hell bent on shedding blood. this is a little harsher in that i don't think that tillman was a bad guy per se. it's also substantively different from my opinion that tillman was fooled and that if he wanted to do something he should've stayed here, but i'm guessing that this person and me are on the same wavelength.

eddie van halen in 2004!
will someone please help courtney love get her shit together?


it was really warm in santa barbara today. so i had my first cherry slurpee of the year. and it was f-ing awesome. five minutes later, i caused my first cherry slurpee t-shirt stain. not so f-ing awesome.
i love bear news.


the greatest television show ever.
michael jackson hired a new attorney. aside from the obvious question, why did he fire mark geragos of courtney love and scott peterson fame? the biggest question i have is, what's the deal with the hair?


so a professional football player lost his life in iraq this past weekend. pat tillman, the former arizona cardinals and arizona state sundevils linebacker bought the pepperidge farm this weekend in afghanistan. he had just got married, signed a 3 million dollar contract with the cards when 9-11 happened. he then decided that it was a good idea to join the army rangers and go play dress up as a soldier in the mideast. as you might suspect, the media was a deluge of salutes to the brave american that walked away from millions of dollars to serve his country. i have a few thoughts on this matter.

1. it's funny how people somehow equate honor and bravery with intelligence and selflessness. it's really sad that he died, and it's really sad that his family has to deal with this. but in the end, it is his own fault. he was not being brave, he was not defending freedom, and he was certainly not thinking about his family when he signed up for the army. i can't say why he signed up for the army, but i don't think that it's unreasonable that he did it to satisfy his own ego that wouldn't let him sit back while america's ability to exploit the rest of the world was threatened. if he really was worried about making a difference, almost anyone would be able to reason that he would be able to make more of a difference in a position of celebrity, as his professional sports athlete would afford him. he could be a spokesman for a charity organization to support people who died in 9-11, he could start his own organization to really help those who were affected by 9-11. but no, instead, he felt that he had to be a war hero to do this. he had to be a man and protect his land and his women. i mean, really what if he didn't sign up for the army? would we have lost the war? did he make a bigger difference over in afghanistan than he could have here? of course, not. so he basically abandons his wife, and a contract which he had signed, and sure enough, we make a hero out of him.

2. i haven't even gotten into his stupidity in thinking that his presence (or the US' presence for that matter) in the mideast has anything to do with protecting our freedom. he was duped. he got tricked because he wasn't smart enough to see through the very transparent ploy put on by the bush administration to make rich white guys richer and making poor people poorer. in a sense, he's also perpetuating the problems of terrorism by being over there.

3. but i guess that you can't really be surprised since he went to ASU.

4. he really wasn't that good of a football player. i mean i guess he was allright, but i can think of at least 10 teams off the top of my head where he wouldn't be the starting linebacker. he's nowhere near the same universe as the elite or even just the top third of linebackers in the league. he couldn't sniff ray lewis' jock. but since ray lewis is one of the top 4 linebackers of all time, i'll just say that he'd be the below dat nguyen and dexter coakley on the cowboys' depth chart. one of the reasons why people are buying into this hero stuff is because he embodies the scrappy white player with heart, which as we all know, really doesn't exist. scrappy white players is really just another name for "we can't have black people totally dominating a sport, so we'll say that white guys are good because the have heart". heart doesn't win championships people, talent does. look it up.

what i'm trying to say is that we really shouldn't be honoring this guy for being an idiot and causing his family uneccesary suffering. instead we should hold him up as an example of what happens to people when they're stupid enough to buy all this bullshit rhetoric that is surrounding what's going on in the mideast. you get what you sign up for. that and that we got totally got ASU. bear down arizona!


a friend who went out of town this weekend left his dog with us this weekend. her name is brooklyn and i think that she's some kind of schnauzer or terrier. she has one of those dog haircuts that make you look like an old scottish man.

anyways, i can't believe that i forgot how much attention these damn dogs need. i slept like crap last night cuz brooklyn refused to let me get under the covers or occupy more than 1/3 of my bed. i tell ya, they ain't kidding when they say "a dog's life".

on another note, here's another elitist blowhard trying to be intelligent about popular culture, but instead of providing interesting commentary, she ends up reminding everyone that she is an elitist blowhard. c'mon slate, you're better than that.


speaking of a-holes...

there's a real interesting piece in slate today on the columbine massacre, or as i like to call it "take that colorado!". the basic premise of the story is that everything we know about columbine and why klebold and harris did it is wrong. the basic premise is that the current mythology that surrounds the massacre, that harris and klebold were teenage outcasts who couldn't take it and exacted their revenge upon their persecutors is entirely incorrrect. what the story says is that basically, harris was a complete psychopath, and the school was simply the most convenient place to pull of his dream caper of violence. klebold ended up being his pliable sidekick.

granted i know nothing about psychology, and granted that the person who wrote the story is a journalist, from what i can gather, being a psychopath is really not that different from being an asshole. no remorse, no sense of empathy, etc.

anyways, like i said, i have mixed feelings about this article. on the one hand, if what this guy says is true, than i was duped into thinking that these kids were the victims in some right. however, what i don't like as with most psychology, is the simple causal structure that all begins with the individual. we have a big massacre at school with a couple of seemingly normal boys as the triggermen, and the best these psychologists can come up with is "one of them was really a really big a-hole."

again...no shit. it seems convenient that people want to blame the kids rather than thinking that high school and youth culture is really f-ed up. in other words, adults wanting to say it's not our fault. or even more simply stated, people saying, "what about me?"
after about a week of trying to buy a new CPU on ebay, i've come to the conclusion that ebay is for losers. the orginal claim of ebay was that it would result in consumers being able to get stuff for less and sellers getting more for their used crap. well it turns out that all the stuff that people actually do want almost always gets bidded up to nearly the original retail price. when you take into account shipping costs, it seems like it's almost always easier and just as economical as going to the store. add in the time and effort it takes to monitor an auction to make sure that you don't get outbidded and i think that you'll see that ebay sucks. anyways, the reason it is for losers is that the only thing that you can get for cheap on ebay is the shit that no one else on this world wants, which most likely means that you are into kitschy things like really tacky furniture or clothes. for those people, i just have to say you're a pretensious asshole, and you're not so unique just cause you wear old clothes. the dick behind the counter of the used record store has been doing it for years, and he's not only not unique, but he's also a giant b-hole.

i'm also working on this theory about how money is actually not the root of all evil. if you think about it, if people used money solely for the acquisition of products or services, then the market would price itself accordingly. what makes the market inefficient as it is today is the human capacity to be an a-hole. the idea that the barter system would be any more just or fair is ridiculous, since the problem is materialism, not money. people with more shit would simply be in a better position to bargain, just as people with more money are in a better position to bargain.

which leads me to another new theory of mine which says that the thing that makes us humans different is not our capacity to reason, or our capacity to think abstractly, or our capacity to be self aware. what makes humans human is the capacity to be an asshole. humans are able to understand how a system works for the benefit of a whole group and what their unique contribution is to this effecient (in economic terms) system. but even confronted with that knowledge, i think that humans are the only ones who are still able to say, "F it", and do the exact opposite. anyways, the point is, i don't think that i'll be able to get my athlon 2100 for anything under 60 bucks because ebay is populated with losers and a-holes.


this barry bonds thing is really starting to get out of hand. right now his OPS is 1.953. to quote texas pete in the movie tombstone, "hell, i never even heard of anything like that." anyways, i was geeking out and poring over barry's stats and i ran across his splits from the last three years according to what the count was.

here's the breakdown.

Count Avg. OPS
0-0 .384 1.458
0-1 .465 1.563
0-2 .262 .810
1-1 .402 1.422
1-2 .155 .496
1-0 .406 1.273
2-0 .421 1.575
2-1 .441 1.564
2-2 .248 .847
3-2 .333 1.334

for some reason, ESPN.com doesn't publish data for 3-0 counts and 3-1 counts, but i imagine that we can safely assume that in those counts barry ends up walking most of the time.

anyways, i thought these are pretty interesting numbers. i don't know enough about sabermetrics to really make a statement about all of this, but i think we can safely say that the best way to get bonds out is to get two strikes on him. and since basically nobody has pitched to bonds over the last three years, that very simply means that no one can get barry bonds out these days.


A joke for the statistically inclined - How many Viagra Emails does it take to screw...eh never mind.
jason stark has a really good column on why barry bonds won't catch hank aaron. i suppose that the argument is somewhat of a tautology, that in order to do something that's never been done before (hit 756 HRs), bonds has to do something that's never been done before (hit a lot of HRs after turning 40), but it's a compelling argument nonetheless.


so if you're like me and want an iPod so bad, that you'd be willing to give your roommate a handjob for one, then you've been on eBay hoping for that one auction that no one's heard about so you don't have to bay the 500 price tag for near complete musical freedom. also no doubt you've been extremely tempted to bid on one of those auctions that says they can direct you to a website that wil sell you the ipod for 40 bucks. i was this close to bidding on it, when i realized that it had to be some kind of scam. sure enough, when i googled "iPod scam" i found out that it's all a part of some technically legal pyramid scheme. you have to get other people to basically do the same thing you did. pay money to find out about a website. once you've done that, then you get your iPod. even then though the website says actually getting your iPod is like pulling teeth and the company employs all sorts of deliberate delay tactics to prevent you from getting an iPod. it's supposedly not technically a pyramid scheme because there is an actual exchange of goods and services involved, but if it looks like a duck and talks like a duck....anyways, one day apple is gonna drop the prices on those things, and when they do, i will be a new man.


"This is the best album I've ever done." - Morrissey.
so air america is already having problems with it's LA affiliate. does anyone else find it ironic that a company called "multicultural radio broadcasting" would take liberal radio off the air?
Sweet Jesus, It turns out baseball can be saved. And Johnny Damon will be its savior.
lots to blog about today....last night i stayed up till about 3AM trying to install new memory and a new video card. lots of trial and error, but i think i have the m-f-er up and running. tiger woods 2004 looks a hell of a lot better now. anyways, the next step will be an attempt at overclocking. i wonder if i'm secretly trying to fry my computer so i have an excuse to buy a new one. anyways, big ups to ma-homie e-love for his assistance with updating the bios.

anyways, on to more important things. how about that lakers game? not that i was before, but from now on, i will no longer even remotely entertain any "kobe is overrated" discussion. sure the guy might force his weinie into unwilling teens, but the alleged rapist sure can put the biscuit in the basket. early prediction for the finals...lakers over pacers in a clean sweep.


there's some kinda conference on campus today about walmart. i'm not going, but i can kinda guess that the general conclusions of the conference will be something to the effect of "wal-mart is bad" and "wal-mart is bad because capitalism is bad". i never much saw the point of accusing capitalists of being capitalists, but i'm not much of an activist so what the hell do i know?

in any case, without the evils of capitalism, we'd never be able to enjoy something like this. http://www.jerry.digisle.tv/room.html. be sure to check out the today show interview. good stuff
monday afternoon and i still have a big headache...it's a good thing i'm not dating anyone, otherwise she'd be starved for sex again tonight.

anyways...spent the weekend in pasadena where fredo won 2 hundo at santa anita. meanwhile yours truly pissed away another twenty bucks that could have been spent on porn instead. damn you gamblor! damn you! we also saw the dodgers beat the rockies. our seats were in the outfield bleachers, where unbeknownst to an unsuspecting me, they don't sell beer. i know, i know, i could hardly believe it myself, a baseball park where you can't buy beer. it turns out that the fans were getting too rowdy last year, so they instituted a policy where you couldn't get beer in the cheap seats. all of this smells like racism/classism to me. as if the assholes sitting in the box seats are less likely to get into trouble if they've had too much beer. also, there were a lot more mexicans in the bleachers. again, as if whitey is less likely to get into fights when he drinks to much than mi hombres from me-hico. anyways, f the new dodger management.

the best moment of the night came from the guy sitting behind us though. some idiots in the front of the bleachers are trying to get the wave started in the outfield (which is a rant for another day). anyways, one of the kids is black, and has some loose dreads that aren't quite long enough to be hanging down yet. he tries to get the wave started but with little success. then the dude behind us issues the greatest and most racist non-sequiter of all time. he says with deadpan intonation, "nice try outkast." first of all, the kid looks nothing like neither andre or big boi. second of all, other than being black, he's got nothing on to indicate that he's some kind of hip-hop soldier. the kid was just wearing a grey sweatshirt and normal fitting jeans...yet somehow, the dickhole behind us is able to comment with the utmost sincerity, that this kid is somehow similar to outkast. anyways, he had a bunch of other random non-sensical comments throughout the night, but that was far and away his best one. oh yeah, of course he was white.


sooooo...the b-hole of the day award goes to the collegiate network (p.s. i take great offense that they've used the image of an asian on homepage). so i'm reading the ucsb student paper and find out that my hallowed institution has been singled out by some conservative organization for being one of the most outrageous universities in the nation (we tied with yale of all places), cuz some student did his senior thesis on men of color in gay porn.

first of all, if anyone remembers the 1984 american music awards that lionel richie hosted, we all know that outrageous is actually cool. so this collegiate network is clearly way behind the times. to paraphrase my roommate, they're the fat kid with glasses that tattled to the teacher about everything in grade school.

but more importantly, it supports my hypothesis that conservatives are a bunch of gigantic douchebags. it seems so tranparent to me that all of their values and rhetoric is aimed clearly at preserving the economic and social advantage that they enjoy in life. it's no coincidence that most of them are whiteys. you can ask almost anyone and i think that they would agree that here in these united states, people like to protect their own shit. now here's the kicker. i actually have no problem with that. if you want to look out for number one, that's your prerogative. my problem is when jerkoffs hide behind the wet t-shirt of reason or morality. hey collegiate network, let me clue you in on your high-minded rationalizations of academic censorship: we can all see your nasty saggy boobies. you're clearly being a jerk and then you try to make it seem like you're being the good guy here, and that makes you a bunch of b-holes.

incidentally, porn is a gazillon dollar industry and there's no way that liberals could afford all that porn on their salaries. clearly it's the conservatives watching all that porn in the first place. well, the conservatives and me. anyways, the other peripheral point is that there's probably not enough research done on porn, and i think i'm going to help remedy that problem by renting "junk in the trunk 47" tonight.


so here is my first go at this blogging thing...maybe this will be easier than just aspiring to having a fully functional website like my super cool/loser roomate erik anyways, i'll go ahead and start regaling you with my unique brand of pop culture wit and wisdom.

so i read that alanis morrissette pulled off some kind of protest at the juno awards. apparently she took off a robe to expose the fact that she was wearing nothing but a flesh colored body suit with fake nipples and pubes. she then went off on some rant about how the FCC and america suck because we're overreacting to the whole janet jackson boob thing with censorship.

i guess she's got a point, but i hate it when canadians rail against the US for being its dumb materialistic redneck neighbors when in reality, they're as big of a-holes as we are. remember when triumph the insult comic dog did his bit on the whole french canadian/quebecois (sp.) separatist thing and everyone in canada got really pissed off? yeah, well guess what mr. mountie? i do, so go f yourself.

anyways, i thought it was kind of a ineffective protest, since we've all kinda have already seen her bits and pieces in that video where she's standing around naked. and if i remember correctly, she had a really weird shape to her body. i wonder if her having pubes on her body suit means that she doesn't debeard her clam with any regularity. i know, grody.

i guess i agree with the principle, but i personally i think that the colored lapel ribbon is a more effective form of protest than the nude colored body suit.

anyways, there it is. the historic first post to the blog.

btw, i think alanis' new stuff is pretty good.