4.07.2004

sooooo...the b-hole of the day award goes to the collegiate network (p.s. i take great offense that they've used the image of an asian on homepage). so i'm reading the ucsb student paper and find out that my hallowed institution has been singled out by some conservative organization for being one of the most outrageous universities in the nation (we tied with yale of all places), cuz some student did his senior thesis on men of color in gay porn.

first of all, if anyone remembers the 1984 american music awards that lionel richie hosted, we all know that outrageous is actually cool. so this collegiate network is clearly way behind the times. to paraphrase my roommate, they're the fat kid with glasses that tattled to the teacher about everything in grade school.

but more importantly, it supports my hypothesis that conservatives are a bunch of gigantic douchebags. it seems so tranparent to me that all of their values and rhetoric is aimed clearly at preserving the economic and social advantage that they enjoy in life. it's no coincidence that most of them are whiteys. you can ask almost anyone and i think that they would agree that here in these united states, people like to protect their own shit. now here's the kicker. i actually have no problem with that. if you want to look out for number one, that's your prerogative. my problem is when jerkoffs hide behind the wet t-shirt of reason or morality. hey collegiate network, let me clue you in on your high-minded rationalizations of academic censorship: we can all see your nasty saggy boobies. you're clearly being a jerk and then you try to make it seem like you're being the good guy here, and that makes you a bunch of b-holes.

incidentally, porn is a gazillon dollar industry and there's no way that liberals could afford all that porn on their salaries. clearly it's the conservatives watching all that porn in the first place. well, the conservatives and me. anyways, the other peripheral point is that there's probably not enough research done on porn, and i think i'm going to help remedy that problem by renting "junk in the trunk 47" tonight.

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