9.26.2004

adventures in blogging

if you take a quick peek over to the right in the sidebar, the really observant will notice that i changed the counter that i'm using. the original one that i was using did nothing but count how many unique users had viewed the blog and nothing else. anyways, i had tried out of couple of other free counters at the bottom of my site to see if they would be any better. the first one i tried, nedstat, did a pretty good job. in addition to counting page views, i could keep track of a bunch of other stuff, most notably, where the page views were coming. however, i couldn't get it to count unique users. so basically, if i'm working on the blog and i load the url just to check it, it would count it on the counter. also, i was getting some weird popups when i was viewing statistics, so i had a bad feeling that they might be associated with some bad spyware sites such as gator or gain. anyways, i have settled on using statcounter, which so far has worked marvelously and is completely free (for now). anyways, in addition to seeing where the hits are coming from, i can also track how long people have been at my site, how many times they've come back if they've been there before. i can even get their specific IP address from the counter, not that i would know what to do with someone's IP address. anyways, another neat feature they have is that i can find out what website people were at right before they accessed the blog. all of this has been prelude to the following great story.

so i'm checking the stats for the counter and i take a look at the referring websites and one of them is this:

search.yahoo.com/search?p=fatass beautiful women&ei=UTF-8&cop=mss&xargs=0&pstart=1&fr=FP-tab-web-t&b=301

for those of you who can't translate, this means that someone went to yahoo and did a search for "fatass beautiful women", and my blog was on the 31st page of search results that this search returned. now before you get all excited and start looking for all of the fat porn on the blog, the reason it turns up like this is because in this post, i used the word "women" in making reference to the statues of naked women at the Art Institute of Chicago, in this post, i used the word "fatass" to refer to a wheels off CNN story, and in this post, i made a reference to the van halen song, "beautiful girls".

this is great for several reasons. first, when someone was looking for tricked up porn, somehow, the internet gods directed this person to my blog. second, this was the 31st page returned! i can only guess that he flipped through all of the pages before it and even by the time he got to the 301st site, this person still wanted more fatass beautiful women. someone out there really loves their fat porn!

anyways, this all goes to show you that despite any hopes and dreams for the internet to become an instrument of liberation or democracy or freedom, the thing that the internet is most used for and by logical extension, the thing that the internet is best suited for is quite simply sharing porn.

this reminds me of one of my single favorite jokes of all time. it's a combination of generic talk mixed in with shock value. anyways, if someone is talking about the internet or porn, i'll chime in and say, "yeah, i can't believe how much porn is out there on the internet. you really can't even get away from it either. like the other day, i was on the internet looking for information on renewing my driver's license, and i typed in "shaved teen asians" and all i got were porn sites!" pretty good heh? feel free to use it and pass it off as your own joke. i don't mind.

p.s. trust me on this one, unless you're sure that kinda thing really gets you going, don't click on any of the links that are returned when you do a web search for "fatass beautiful women."
p.p.s. because this post talks so much about fat porn, it's sure to show up in more people's searches for fat porn. if you're one of those people, you need some help. quit tricking up your sex!

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