10.21.2004

bobby the gook, week 7

seriously, can anyone deny the existence of god, or at least the existence of gamblor after what happened in baseball this week? that reminds me of a joke. what do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dsylexic? someone who stays up all night agonizing over the existence of a dog. thanks! you've been a great audience! anyways, the more well read of you will know that i aped that from david foster wallace's slightly more funny than average book, infinite jest. what the hell does this have to do with anything? nothing, i'm in such a good mood though after the red sox win. anyways, enough of the nonsense, on with the picks. i rebounded to form as did fredo, but i still manage to increase my lead even after last week's debaucle. last week results: me: 9-5, season 53-32-3 (.624); fredo: 8-6, season 46-39-3 (.541). for some reason, there aren't any lines from caesar's/hilton, so we'll use thepoint spreads at the mgm/mirage. home teams in bold.

BUF (-6) over BAL
hear me out here. willis magahee looked good last week. i'm not saying that he's the next coming of O.J., but he's probably better than jamal lewis' replacement chester taylor. although i hope i'm wrong about this, cuz i have him on both of my fantasy teams. oh year, kyle boller really sucks.

DET (+6.5) over NYG
i felt better about this at the beginning of the week with roy williams coming back and all, but the giants have been pretty good against the number this year. erik is going to vegas this weekend, and i was going to bet this game, but i'm not so sure now. actually, i know i'm not.

PHI (-7) over CLE
no contest here. i think that philly is better than the pats right now.

IND (-9.5) over JAX
one of two trains that we'll keep riding until it stops, philly being the other one. which leads us to ...

NYJ (+6.5) over NE
i'm really not sure that the streak ends here for the pats, but the jets have gutted out all of their wins. i think they can at least keep it close.

TEN (+7) over MIN
minnesota's defense has looked pretty awful the past two weeks. with moss up in the air, i'll take the titans in an upset.

SD (+3) over CAR
apparently, i'm going to pick the chargers every week. i dunno, i thought that they played atlanta tough, and i think that stephen davis is out of gas.

STL (-6.5) over MIA
i'm officially back on the rams' playoff bandwagon. they've been great against the spread this year too.

TB (-7) over CHI
the bears might not win another game this year. tampa bay rolls here. look for a big game for pittman (yardage wise of course. all veteran fantasy managers know that pittman is worth shit when it comes to TDs). i love this game by the way, definitely money going down on this one.

ATL (+4) over KC
huh. my favorite quadrilateral is a TRAPezoid. stay away from this one.

GB (-3.5) over DAL
another one to stay away from. this one could seriously go either way. but like i said, last week was the beginning of the rest of a bad season for the hometeam. who knows what to make of green bay too.

SEA (-7) over ARI
the seahawks may have some reciever problems this week. how awful is it to see jerry rice don a green uniform? anyways, despite the two game losing streak, the hawks aren't really that bad a team. they'll play great with the defense getting in on the scoring and shaun alexander going ape-s on the cards.

NO (+3) over OAK
no reason to bet on the raiders until they stop turning over the ball (translation, no reason to bet on the raiders until kerry collins is out of there).

DEN (-6) over CIN
the bengals should have been a playoff team this year. carson palmer looks completely lost back there. kitna really should have thrown at least 4 tds to chad johnson by now. sad sad sad. all denver does is cover the spread. give me 50 bucks on the broncos (3-3 on the big bet).

3 comments:

Erik said...

Making a big mistake not betting on Detroit, Bob. I just might do it in your stead.

Bob said...

wow! i just realized that i picked against 9 home teams. can't be a good sign. but hey, after the red sox won, i think anything is possible now.

Anonymous said...

bobby!-

i really don't care about the nfl this week. i am so very very happy - my look-into-the-abyss comments of last week somehow worked as the elusive reserve-jinx needed to propel the bosox past the crumbling yankee empire. so, this week i am taking all of the good i have going for me and going for broke. this will be the greatest week of picks all season. all picks are pure gold, 100%, break the bank, stone cold locks. believe it, bitch:

BUF over BAL - i just don't believe buffalo is quite as bad as their record. they have to win one sometime, right? that's why i picked them straight up this week in the office pool. also, it's hard to win when your best player was suspended for watching too much miami vice.

NYG over DET - i'm really sick of the giants. i'm just going for another reverse jinx here.

PHI over CLE - why is this only seven? philadelphia's been good for ten point wins all year. let's just keep going with the eagles.

IND over JAX - what bobby the g said.

NE over NYJ - the frenzied new england populace draws yet more blood from new york. is see new england falling behind early, losing the first three quarters, and coming back with a monster fourth for the double-digit win.

MIN over TEN - crumbling empire, remember, bob? that's a theme this week, if you haven't noticed.

SD over CAR - the only reason not to like the chargers here is the back-to-back west coast to east coast flights. there's a chance the team sleeps through the game. anyway, i say that last week their offense ran into a tough atlanta defense. this week, they'll face an overrated defense that's actually flat-out lousy against the run. ladanian likes it; they pull out the win straight up.

STL over MIA - how in good conscience could anyone take the dolphins? they might have a perfect season if they're not careful.

TAM over CHI - eff the damn bears for effing me last week. notice that i haven't done well in my personal revenge picks, and that i'm actually going with the sorriness of jon gruden. be afraid.

KC over ATL - you're right about the trap, bob. bettors are thinking that atlanta on the road is at least even with kc and jump at the chance to get points. the problem, though, is that this year, the traps are often reverse-traps. so i just flipped a coin.

GB over DAL - at the beginning of the season, i was sure the cowboys would suck. after a game or two, my emotions got the better of me and i thought that they might be decent. this would actually be an easy pick if the packers didn't suck too.

ARI over SEA - i don't like this one much. arizona's actually not as horrible as they usually are and seattle just seems like a pretender. add arizona's "inspired" defense and they suddenly seem like a logical choice...dammit i just talked myself out of seattle. dammit. go arizona, i guess.

NO over OAK - go ahead and take the saints straight up here. you might as well. come sunday, kery collins will be absolutely convinced that he plays for the saints and hand them a touchdown or two.

DEN over CIN - what's stopping the broncos from running crazy on monday night? nothing, unless the bengals do something drastically different. throw in denver's top ranked defense and you have a blowout.

bonus pick - sox in 6. i'd say 4, but they're going to get it done at fenway. oh, and the mvp will be manny ramirez.