bobby the gook week 17

i'm on vacation dammit, get off my back! last week, me 3 points, fredo 14 (i missed my parlay, fredo hit his). score going into the last week...a virtually insurmountable lead for fredo 159, me 122. with a 37 point lead, it looks like i'm just picking these games to play out the string. plus there's no telling with last week as playoff teams rest their starters and stuff. as always, home team in caps, point spreads from caesars.

den (+10.5) over SD
OAK (+8) over nyg
ari (+7) over IND
bal (-3) over CLE
buf (-1.5) over NYJ
ATL (+3.5) over car
chi (-4) over MIN
KC (-7.5) over cin ($50)
det (+14.5) over PIT (that one's for you erik)
NE (-6) over mia
TAM (-14) over no
SFO (-1) over hou
ten (+4) over JAX
GB (-4.5) over sea (packers, please win so that favre can retire)
DAL (-12.5) over stl

do you guys know any way to make up a 39 point deficit? me neither, give me a 15 team parlay. the sad thing is, i still don't know if that will be enough.


bobby the gook, week 16

in a way, my season has mirrored that of the dallas cowboys. wildly inconsistent, but at times dominating, and at other times, completely not showing up. fredo on the other hand has been as consistent as a dog taking a crap on a walk. i got 8 games, and fredo got 10. we both got the big bet, however, i would like to submit that there is some possible controversey over the bonus props. if you notice, last week fredo had submitted his picks at 3:30 on saturday, well after the patriots win and halfway into the giants win. now if this were a real sportsbook, those games would obviously not count. however, since it is fredo, i will just have to rely on his honor. unless of course, erik love, the unofficial arbitrator of the bob ngo/fred rivers pick 'em and stick 'em fun game, rules that i should allow fredo the bonus points. which would mean a six point swing, and leave me all but out of contention for the remainder of the season. until i hear otherwise, i'll go ahead and count fredo's parlay. so the score is currently is 145-119 in favor of fredo. on with the picks, home team in caps, point spreads from caesar's. also, since i'm doing this on vacation, expect much less in the way of analysis.

CIN (-14) over buf
the bills were a bit frisky last week in covering, but the bengals are just rolling right now. in fact, i'll go ahead and go out on a limb here and say that i think that if the AFC championship game was colts bengals, i would take the bengals.

CLE (+7) over pit
the steelers really put the beat down on the vikes last week, but i think that the browns are going to start their turnaround story of 2006 right now.

KC (+1.5) over sd
i'm so mad at myself. i've been saying all season that the chargers were going to be the ones to defeat the colts, and when it came time to put my money where my mouth is, i completley chickened out. not this time. earlier in the year, i said that the chargers are going to end up missing the playoffs, and i'm going to stick with that theory.

ten (+5.5) over MIA
i'm starting to hate picking against nick saban, the same way i hate picing against belichick but i am envisioning mcnair putting it together for a late season surge as he starts to audition for other teams.

jax (-6.5) over HOU
the texans got their good game out of the way with the arizona win. look for a blowout here.

NO (-3) over det
i actually like the lions' chances here, but i just can't pick harrington on the road.

CAR (-5.5) over dal
as much as i'd like to believe that the cowboys will pull it together, i just can't see them picking themselves up after last week's debacle in washington. eff drew bledsoe and eff bill parcells.

nyg (+3) over WAS
i suppose i'm committing a cardinal sin by picking eli mannin on the road here, but i gotta make up some ground.

TAM (-3) over atl
i'm starting to be really disappointed whenever i see mike vick playing. shouldn't be the greatest quarterback who ever lived by now?

sfo (+9.5) over STL
can't pick the rams again this year.

ARI (-1) over phi
not that i like josh mccown, but i certainly don't like mike mcmahon on the road.

SEA (pk) over ind
the line is off for some reason. i'm guessing the whole tony dungee son is dead thing. my own personal theory is that larry csonka is culprit. after the colts lost, he still wanted to send a strong message to future 13-0 teams.

oak (+13.5) over DEN
dammit that's a lot of points...i just have a feeling that kerry collins will pull a great game out of his ass, since he's basicallly auditioning for other teams like mcnair.

chi (-7) over GB
it's sad to see brett favre suck as much as he does these days. can you believe that this is a three time MVP winner?

BAL (-3) over min

ne (-5.5) over NYJ
full on conspiracy theory here to get reggie bush in the nation's largest media market. fifty bucks.

bonus props! got to make up ground so give me....

5 team parlay


bobby the gook, week 15

looks like i spoke too soon last week. to be honest, there wasn't a whole lot of preparation on my part which may be part of the problem. anyways, you'd figure that with school being out for the holiday, that i'd have more time to devote to football contemplation. you'd be wrong however. i've been busy vanquishing orcs and night elves in warcraft III. but this is crunch time, in the NFL. the freakin' playoff picture gets clearer and clearer with each passing week, and it seems obvious to anyone that the colts are practically a mortal lock to win the super bowl this year. the only team that i can imagine beating the colts this year are the bengals in the afc championship game or the cowboys in the superbowl. ok, maybe not the cowboys, but i definitely am hoping that the colts stumble, only because peyton is a sorry a-hole and doesn't deserve the title of history's greatest team, which if they go undefeated and win the big one, they undoubtedly will. anyways, that's enough with the hatin', let's get on with this game. last week, i got 5 freakin' games right, missed the 50 and lost out on both 2 team parlays. that'd be a total of 0 points. however, fredo didn't fare much better, with 5 games right, missing the parlay and missing his 3 team parlay. that'd be exactly 1 point, so there's not much change in the standings as fredo maintains his lead, 128-115. as always, home team in caps, point spreads from caesars.

NE (-4.5) over tam
yeah...simms on the road, against a new england team that is starting to hit its stride...i'll take golden boy brady over golden boy simms.

NYG (-2.5) over kc
as good as a win as that was for the cowboys last week, it was an equally bad loss for the chiefs. the chiefs have to be kicking themselves for letting that get away in the same week that san diego lays an egg. is it possible that kc and the chargers both don't make the playoffs? i think so.

den (-9) over BUF
is there any reason to take the bills this season? i can't think of one.

MIN (+3.5) over pit
yeah the steelers had a good win last week, but indoors on the road? i just can't do that. and honestly, i don't think that the charges that were filed this week against the minnesota for the sex boat isn't going to affect the vikings. i might also take the under here (41).

IND (-7.5) over sd
ughhh....i want the chargers to beat the colts so bad...but i can't pick against the colts at home with anything less than 10 points.

JAX (-16) over sfo
to be honest, i don't know if the jags can even muster 16 points with their type of offense. but as always, the niners don't have a goddammed thing. look for another 3 turnovers from alex smith.

TEN (-7) over sea
to take the home dog or not to take the home dog. classic look ahead game for the seahawks, as they have their sights on beating indy the following week. give me the points.

ari (-2) over HOU
i'm like everyone else and am starting to think that the texans are tanking on purpose to win the reggie bush sweepstakes. well that and they are el stinko.

MIA (-9) over nyj
contestant number 2 in the reggie bush sweepstakes are the J-E-T-S. not that they're tanking games, but saban is proving to be an awesome coach. the dolphins should be 3-12 right now. but they're not because of the coaching.

car (-9) over NO
the panthers have been terribly inconsistent this year. and since they stunk last week, they'll be good this week. plus the saints are going with todd boumann at QB. which can't be much worse than aaron brooks, but it'll be close.

dal (+3) over WAS
sorry, i won't pick against the boys here. but i'd be a little worried if i were a cowboys fan.

cin (-8) over DET
heh heh...this line should be at least 12 points. in some ways, i almost think that the bengals would be better if they played indoors. if for no other reason than chad johnson would score more touchdowns and we get treated to more touchdown dances. this week, when he scores, he should jump into the ford gield stands and start the "fire millen" chant. give me 50.

cle (+3) over OAK

phi (+3.5) over STL
i hate the rams. they are my version of fredo's broncos. i never ever get them right. i have a lot to say about the whole NAACP/Donavan McNabb thing, that i'll post about later today. but since he's not playing it doesn't matter. on a related note, i really need torry holt to score a touchdown this week if i'm to have any chance in my fantasy football playoff game.

CHI (-3) over atl
really not sure about this one. i can see m. vick going off just to prove to people that he's not a pansy injury prone player.

gb (+3) over BAL
favre on monday night, we know how this goes.

bonus props! a lot of these games seem easy to me, so i'll try a big parlay here

5 team: NE, CIN, ARI, MIN, MIA


for all the diesel haters out there

shaq continues his pursuit of a career in law enforcement.

this is nothing new, but there is something in the article that i think was really interesting:
And in September he did just that. After seeing a man throw a bottle and yell anti-gay slurs at a passer-by, O'Neal trailed the man and helped an officer arrest him as a hate-crime suspect.
come on people, shaq 4 president!


bobby the gook, week 14

woohoo! after last week's stellar performance, i am a little more back in this than i was last week. it's weird. last year, both fredo and i started out strong and then started to falter towards the end of the season, and it seems to be the opposite this year. if i could only get to vegas next week. although i should day that last week featured an easy slate. in my money pool, the average person got 10 games right. so who knows what the eff is going on. and while i hope to build on last week's performance, i gotta be honest and say i don't have a very good feel for this week's games. some interesting numbers this week. anyways, last week, i got 12 freakin gamees right, plus 1 for the 50 dollar bet, and i hit both parlays for an incredible 16 points. i also get a two point bonus for beating fredo this week, so that gives me 31 points for the week! fredo got 10 games, plus his fifty dollar game, but minus 3 for his parlay, for a total of 6 points. that's right folks 31-6. unfortunately, fredo has built up a big enough lead so that he's still ahead in this thing 127-115. on with the picks, points spreads from caesar's, home team in caps.

CAR (-5.5) over tam
looks like the panthers are poised to take the NFC south title to the bank. although the bucs dominated the saints defensively, they still barely pulled it out of their ass. fifty, fifty, fifty.

ne (-3.5) over BUF
last week was the bills last stand. and in some weird conspiracy to get the patriots yet another shot at the super bowl, the AFC east is the worst it has been in years. by the way, tom brady was recently named sports illustrated sportsman of the year. i'm not saying he doesn't deserve it, but it was kinduva down year for individual sports performances. if i were in charge, i would've made T.O. sportsman of the year for having the most impact on their team, positive or otherwise.

stl (+7) over MIN
we're gonna keep playing the rams being better as underdogs theory. i know that this is not a very smart pick but all this talk about minnesota being this much better with brad johnson at quarterback is a little overblown.

chi (+6) over PIT
either this line is completely wrong or it's a trap. i know that chicago's offense is bad, but what pittsburgh looks like they're going to miss out on the playoffs after a good start.

oak (-3) over NYJ
usually this is the season where you almost always take the home dog, but since this has been a weird season, i'll do the opposite. plus, give me the asian qb over brooks bollinger any day.

ind (-8.5) over JAX
like in minnesota, all talk of david garrard being better than leftwich is overblown. i knwo that this is as good as any week for the colts to falter, but i have a feeling about the chargers being the team to do it. besides, indy is awesome against the line this year.

hou (+7) over TEN
fredo got all cute with the titans last week and it cost him. the texans on the other hand have lost a handful of really tough luck games. it's almost like they're cursed or something, although since they're an expansion franchise, there's nothing that they could have done to curse them. maybe they're paying the price for the audacity to name their team "the texans" as if that other team in texas wasn't already the greatest team in the history of time, let alone the great lone star state.

CIN (-13.5) over cle
now the browns losing braylon edwards for a year...that's the stuff of curses. i just don't know what cleveland has got that get's them anything over 13 points. and if as chad johnson predicts, the bengals score 40+ points from here on out....well you do the math.

ARI (+4) over was
home dogs theory here. i just don't know what the skins have got. i can only imagine daniel snyder wanting to shoot himself every time he sees that mark brunell is their quarterback.

nyg (-8.5) over PHI
speaking of curses, no one is paying the price more for bad mojo than the eagles for their signing of the ultimate non-team guy in t.o. to be honest, i wish this game could somehow result in both teams recording a loss, but i'll just go with the idea that the giants are a much better team than the eagles. although i wouldn't bet on this game. no telling with eli on the road.

SEA (-16) over sfo
i hate this line, but i can't bring myself to bet on the niners. alex smith is priving himself to be one of the biggest draft day mistakes in the history of the NFL

SD (-13.5) over mia
damn this big spreads....uhhhh.....i'll say this. ricky is quietly having himself a nice renaissance season, so maybe that bodes well for the longhorns in the rose bowl...or maybe not since they are playing USC.

DEN (-14.5) over bal
denver should rebound at home after that game against the chiefs last week. the ravens have lost ray lewis for the rest of the season, which means no one to 1) chase down running backs, and 2) no pass rush for the ravens which means no pressure on jake which means no chance for interceptions in this game. by the way, even though he's having a nice season, it's funny how the real jake has shown himself over the last two weeks. i might have to start betting against the broncos for the rest of the season if it looks like old jake is here to stay.

kc (+3) over DAL
i can't tell you how frustrating it is to have drew bledsoe running your team. i just never feel good with him back there. and while the boys played the giants tough, i just knew that bledsoe wouldn't be able to pull it out for us. crap i hate picking against the cowboys.

GB (-6) over det
boy i hate picking the packers this year too. but there's just no way that the lions are going to get their shit together this year. i also think that it would be good shtick to start the "fire millen" chant at both lambeau field this week, as well as during the super bowl (which is in detroit this year).

ATL (-10) over no
i'm starting to feel sorry for the saints. because with the way things are shaping up for next year, it looks like they'll still be without a permanent home next year. add that to the fact that there's no way that they're making money this year and you have a rough stretch ahead saints fans.

bonus props! like i said, i really don't have a good feel for this week's line, so i'll just throw out a couple of two team teasers.

1) CAR, NE

eff you norcal

more proof that the bay area isn't as progressive as they like to think.

it's a little long (five minutes), but watch the whole thing, it's quite interesting. a couple of things that i'll comment on.

1) i hate to buy into stereotypes but geez, why is it whenever i hear a lawyer talk on television i just want to take a shower afterwards. this guys lawyer is pretty idiotic in his comparisons of his client to people like chris rock.

2) i always thought that when robin roberts was at ESPN, she was one of the more solid journalists and anchor-people that they had. now that she's doing real hard news, she's even better. way to be robin!

fun with capitalism

this guy is my new hero. pointing out the contradictions of a consumer driven society, while at the same time making some people feel good about their place in the machine. it's a tough trick to pull. a sample:
Dear Ritz,

First of all, let me say how much I enjoy the one-of-a-kind buttery taste of Ritz brand crackers. Whether by themselves or with any of a variety of great-tasting toppings, Ritz brand crackers are an enjoyable and satisfying snack.

Here's my question. If I'm adding, say, peanut butter to a Ritz brand cracker, I spread it on the salty side of the cracker. My wife, however, puts it on the non-salty side. Which one of us is right? (And don't say there's no wrong way -- that's a cop out.)



who's the a-hole?

tucker carlson



after reading this, i hate both parties just a little bit more.


bobby the gook, week 13

this thing is OVER. not only did i stink up the joint with only getting 6 games, fredo got nine plus a super bonus for hitting his parlay. there is really nothing left for me to play for, other than entertaining myself with my football idiocy. what can i say, i'm just gonna have to chalk this up to bad mojo this year. oh well, like antoine walker in a shooting slump, the only way for me to get better is to keep firing away. anyways, like i said, i got six games last week (+6), hit the fifty dollar bet (+1), missed my three team parlay (-3) and hit my two team teaser (+2). that equals 6 freakin' points. fredo got 9 games (+9), hit the fiddy (+1), hit his three team parlay (+6), and gets a two points for winning the week (+2) for a total of 18 points. the updated standings are fredo: 121, me: 84. let's get on with this lunacy. home team in caps and point spreads from caesar's.

MIA (-4) over buf
this division sucks doesn't it? gus frerotte vs. jp losman? i can't think of a worse way to spend your sunday afternoon than watching these two loser teams get after it. screw this crap, i hate the NFL.

cin (+3.5) over PIT
we'll use the super faulty transitive properties here. indy destroyed the steelers last week, while cinci hung in there with the colts until the end when they played them earlier this year. ergo, give me the bengals. on a side note, have you ever rooted more for a single player to score every week than chad johnson. that's just good clean family entertainment.

hou (+8) over BAL
i actually think the ravens will cover, i'm just trying to make up some ground here.

IND (-16) over ten
again, no reason to get off this train until it stops.

jax (-3) over CLE
i've always thought leftwich was a little overrated anyways. that's just not enough points for a bad cleveland team.

dal (+3) over NYG
two things about that giants game. first, have you ever seen anything as funny as jeremy shockey doing his little winner dance in the camera only to realize that jeff feely missed the kick. that was effing awesome. second, tony siragusa is the worst sideline reporter ever. to hear scream "it's short! it's short!" after one of feely's misses made me want to stick something up my ass. about the game - dallas is winning this division, end of story.

CHI (-7) over gb
tough loss for the packers last week. i read somewhere that farvre has won something like the last 13 meetings against the bears. can't last 14. about the bears...comparisons to the 85 bears are legitimate in that the bears defense is really good, but at the same time, the 85 bears inspired fear in other teams. i just don't think this squad has quite that same effect.

min (-3) over DET
the lions have become the ugly stepchild of the NFL. their franchise quite frankly has become an embarrassment to the league and in all seriousness hurts the NFL, which in turn hurts america. the only solution is clear...declare war on michigan, and send in the black ops people to take care of matt millen.

CAR (-3) over atl
i like the panthers to take control of the division this week. atlanta looked good last week, but remember, they were playing the single most embarrassing franchise in all of sports history last week.

tam (-3.5) over NO
the saints are done winning this year. and i'm still not sold on the bucs, there's just no way i think the saints can cover two weeks in a row.

SFO(+3) over ari
yet another reason why the nfl should reduce the number of teams in the league. uhh...i'll just take the home dogs here.

was (-3) over STL
you just knew that everyone was going to go crazy over the harvard qb...including yours truly who has him starting this week on his fantasy team. let's see if this bandwagon has any wheels shall we? dammit, i just talked myself out of it. the skins are going to eat this ivy leaguer for breakfast.

NE (-10.5) over nyj
as much as i hate the pats this year, the jets are omong the league's worst. besides you can't expect brady to lay two eggs in a row.

KC (pk) over den
some other lines have this as kc (+1.5) so in this case, i'll take the home team and the points. denver just didn't look that good to me last week. although i should take denver, but again, gotta make up some ground somewhere.

oak (+11.5) over SD
i dunno, this line just seems way to big for me. oakland is starting to play really bad as kerry collins continues to be the weak link on my fantasy squad, but i just have a feeling on this one.

sea (-4) over PHI
4 points? is that all? i don't know if you'd call this a trap, but it just might be. either way, i'll take fifty bucks on this one.

bonus props! like i said, lots of gorund to make up, so it's crazy parlay time. same rules as last week.

give me a 5 team: SEA, MIN, CHI, IND, CIN
give me a 3 team: JAX, TAM, SEA

eff, i'm going to lose a lot of points if the hawks don't cover.


high school football greatness

ucla thinks that they know what's coming this weekend. well, they really don't have any idea. be sure to click on the video link under the picture.

a few weeks ago, fredo and i went to a high school football game and were pondering what it would be like if a pro player, like say mike vick right now somehow was able to sneak into a high school football game, would he basically score everytime he touched the ball? well as the video shows you, yeah, he probably would. and apparently reggie bush did.

i've been fortunate to see this kind of man among boys exhibition twice in my lifetime (and no, i'm not talking in the michael jackson way). in high school, i got to see the carter cowboys play when new york giants great jesse armstead was playing. he was a linebacker in high school as well, and let me tell you, every tackle he made was just so amazingly bone-crushingly violent, that i started to feel sorry for the kids getting tackled. the other time was in college when kevin garnett's high school was playing at a tournament that was being hosted at depaul. needless to say, kevin garnett could do pretty much anything he wanted to on the court.


weekend asian news roundup

lots to report from the holiday weekend. three items of note.

1) world's first bruce lee statue erected and dedicated in...bosnia? it may not make any sense, but we'll take what we can get. of course, hours later, the statue fell victim to vandalism.

2) jackie chan tells asian movie community: "Asians should unite against American cinema," explaining that asians are losing their cultural identity when they ape american stereotypes. he then goes back to counting money earned for agreeing to do rush hour parts 4, 5, and 8.

3) a very very very sad day as noriyuki "pat" morita, or as we all know him, mr. miyagi passed away this weekend. he wasn't the greatest asian actor by any stretch, but he certainly was one of the most visible and of course mr. miyagi was one of the most memorable roles (one that i think he really should have gotten an oscar nod for). anyways, i was reading the obituaries and i learned that before his break on happy days, that he was a stand up comedian that had appeared on the tonight show several times. how about that?

michael irvin can't resist crack!

the playmaker got in trouble again over the holiday when he some drug paraphenalia was discovered in number 88's car on a routine traffic stop. there's all sorts of spin coming out of the irvin camp, but here are my observations.

1) michael's first mistake was driving in the first place. according to the article, the reason he was pulled over was because he had an outstanding parking ticket. and then once you get pulled over, who knows what kind of chicanery the sucka-pigs are gonna end up pulling on you. no when you're that famous or if you have that much money, you should have someone else driving for you at all times. nothing good can ever result from a celebrity driving. it's like the 1AM rule. if you're a celebrity, you should never stay out past 1AM, because nothing ever good happens after 1AM. you never hear of celebrities saving lives at 2:30AM or discovering the cure to cancer at 3:00AM. nosiree, after 1AM it's only drug busts and she-male prostitutes. same thing with celebirties driving, nothing good can come of it.

2) irvin is a genius for his excuse. in the article it says that he claiming that the drug paraphenelia actually belongs to a friend of his who was at his house for thanksgiving, who coincidentally is a recovering addict. not that i really believe him. i mean, if you're a crack addict, it's not like you're just going to shove your crack pipe in your back pocket and it's just gonna fall out of your pants in the michael irvin's car. no that doesn't make any sense. most likely scenario is that mike is hitting the pipe again. anyways, it's still a genius defense because it turns him from a drug monster into the one that is fighting drugs.

3) the really funny thing is, for fans like myself, we actually prefer the drug addled problem child version of michael irvin. it's like in the nineties when the cowboys were unstoppable, the attitude was so badass. it was like, we're the best godammed team in football, and we can do whatever we want whenever we want, cuz we're that badass. yeah, i, as a lifelong dallas cowboys fan, only have fond memories of cocaine mike.

4) this almost certainly torpedoes michael's chances of getting into the hall of fame. not that the hall of fame was likely to induct him this year anyway (troy aikman and rayfield wright seem to be good bets this season, no way they were going to induct three cowboys in the same year), but now stodgy selectors who hold this kind of shit against players will have an excuse. i know, i know, lawrence taylor...but the difference is that lawrence taylor was the best to ever play his poistion, some even argued the greatest football player ever period. irvin is at best a top 15-20 receiver. in short, the chances of michael irvin getting into the hall of fame are a...wait for it...wait for it...a pipe dream. ROCK ME!!!!!*

5) actually, the way i see it, the fact that a player is addicted to hard drugs should only enhance his candidacy into the hall of fame. think about it, we're not talking about performance enhancing drugs. cocaine doesn't make you a better player. if anything it presents more obstacles to being a good player. anyone can think of a situation where potential was unfulfilled because of addiction. and if someone can still kick ass in spite of this large obstacle, then it only shows how great they truly were. i say, you should get bonus points for doing hard drugs.

* for those of you who don't listen to KTCK, the phrase "rock me" is what is uttered after someone knowlingly utters a ridiculously bad pun.


bobby the gook, week 12

man f this crap. fredo got 10 freakin' games last week. there was lots of effin' in the ass last week by several teams. seattle, washington, minnesota. i am really starting to hate football. at least i can take solace that my fantasy team laid a big steamer all over fred's. anyways, it's thanksgiving week, so i gotta get these picks up early in time for the turkey day matchups. last week, fredo got 12 points, and i got 10. i never heard about the head to head bonus from fredo so i'm going to assume that it is in effect so fredo actually gets 14 points and this race is all but over. right now the tally stands at fredo: 103, me: 78. home team in CAPS and point spreads from caesars.

atl (-3) over DET
i actually really wanted to take the lions here since it seems that atlanta can't stop anyone from running the ball. but neither can joey harrington. real quick, in last week's game, which was the first lions' game i saw all week, steve mariucci looked terrible. i mean he looked physically ill, like he'd lost weight and hadn't been sleeping. i've always liked mooch and millen should do him a favor and just fire him now.

DAL (+2) over den
screw you, it's thanksgiving, i'll take whoever i goddamned want to.

KC (-3) over ne
tempting, but i don't think that the patriots can stop anyone defensively. i'm hoping it will be a bit of a shootout, but this seems to be the perfect game to drive the last nail in the coffin for the pats this season.

bal (+9.5) over CIN
i don't really know how good of a call this is. however, all i know is that in years past, after a catostrophic loss like they had against the colts, the bengals have never rebounded well. and when i say rebounded, i mean for the rest of the season. the ravens i think at least have ray lewis and ed reed back so i guess i'm gonna bet on the bengals tanking like in years past. not totally tanking, rather just playing barely well enough where them making the playoffs comes down to week 17.

car (-4.5) over BUF
carolina had some problems running against the bears. the bills defense doesn't even remotely resemble the bears defense, so i like everyone's favorite super bowl contender to bounce back here.

chi (+3) over TB
if the bears can do that to jake delhomme, imagine what they're gonna do to chris simms.

WAS (+3.5) over sd
apparently, every sports writer in the world is using the phrase, "the san diego chargers are the best team that might miss the playoffs". i say their inconsistency is going to keep going on throughout the rest of the year. i'll take the skins in what amounts to a must win if they're going to have any chance to challenge for the division.

cle (+4.5) over MIN
yeah i saw the stupid mnf game. here's what i saw. minnesota still sucks and are lucky to have won their last three. what's funny is how desperately everyone wants to get on the brad johnson comeback story, which i suppose is all touchy feely nice, but i expect rueben droughns to have a big enough day to put the vikings away early.

sfo (+7.5) over TEN
i really think that ken dorsey is the best of that sorry bunch. the niners have been covering about half of the time. what all this means is...whatever.

HOU (+4) over stl
it seems pretty clear to me that the front office of the rams organization is in a bad way. oh yeah, there's a good chance that marc bulger isn't going to play which makes st. louis have to start jamie martin. and well, he just sucks.

jax (+3.5) over ARI
gimme 50.

OAK (-7) over mia
the dolphins are pretty tough to figure out, so i'm just gonna go with "they suck." gus frerotte is supposed to return this week....change that to "they really really suck."

SEA (-4) over nyg
eff it. i'll get on the bandwagon.

gb (+4.5) over PHI
i know that mcmahon is not all that bad, but the eagles are basically a bunch of guys that haven't done jack in the league. this is horrible logic, but i'll take favre over guys like that.

no (-1.5) over NYJ
i really really hate the jets this year. i have no feel for this game, so i should actually take the points, but really, it doesn't matter one way or another.

IND (-7) over pit
this line is actually off at caesars. my guess is that they want to confirm the qb situation for the steelers, and from what i've read, it's going to be roethslqwe. the colts are a team that i'm just gonna keep riding until someone tells me it's time to get off. don't get me wrong, i'm hoping to god that they lose somewhere along the line.

bonus props! let's go with all you can eat parlays. i'm going to change up the risk reward thing though. instead of doling out points, you're gonna have to wager points, at least one point for every part of the parley. that is, to put together a three team parlay, you have to wager three points. if you get any leg wrong, then you lose three points. if you get all three legs right, then it's worth 6 points. and you can put together as many parlays as you want. i'm going to go with 2 parlays.

first give me for 4 points: jax, sfo, and car
for a two team teaser and wagering 2 points, i'll take indy and kc.


i'll never forgive MLB for this

steroids, the yankees, and barry bonds weren't enough to drive me away from the game, but scott stapp sure as hell is. i'm all for cross promotion, but there's just no need for this.


bobby the gook, week 11

stretch drive time kids...this is the time of the year where the men get separated from the boys, unless of course we're talking about this one horse race between fredo and myself. it's getting ugly at this point. my little opposite week experiment of course backfired horribly. if i had just stuck with what i thought would be good picks, i would have had 11 pts to fredo's 7. instead, i end up with 7 points and no ground gained on my wily mexican friend. no more hijinx for me, i'll just be johnny cash and walk the line. despite that however, i must make mention that it was a stellar week otherwise...fredo and i placed in our pool and are due somewhere in the area of 100 bucks or so...couple that with a magnificent cowboys win on monday night and well, i can't complain. bill simmons column this week says that this is where you should really take a look at what's happened this season and recategorize the teams and adjust your betting strategy accordingly. good advice i say. anyways, on with the picks...after last week, the score is fredo -89, me - 68. at this point a lot would have to go wrong for fredo to lose, so i am going to suggest a way in which we can make it more interesting. true it provides me a way to win that i wouldn't otherwise have, but it's either that or we just ride out the schedule. i propose that in addition to our usual bonus games, there be two points awarded to whoever wins the week. like i said before, i know that if we had been doing this from the beginning of the year, i'd be even farther behind, but i just thought i'd throw that out there. fredo, feel free to veto this idea if you're a scared little bitch. no seriously, you have veto power on this one. home team in caps, point spread from caesar's.

car (-3) over CHI
that bears game last week was one of the weirdest games i've seen. the returned missed field goal is always good for yucks, but ultimately, it was a battle between two crappy offenses and that's never any fun. barring any crazy weather this week in windy city, i see the panthers rolling.

TEN (+4) over jax
everyone in the world seems to like the titans here. i myself, can't really see it, but far be it from me to argue with anyone else. i do think that the jags are still not as good as their record indicates, though, so i'm not totally copying everyone else.

ind (-6) over CIN
the bengals are almost there, but their defense still has a little ways to go before they can be real contenders. besides, you don't think that the league is going to do everything in its power to get the whitey wet dream qb peyton manning to 16-0? the fix is in starting now kids!

NE (-10) over no
i really don't like this game either way. i really hate taking the pats since last week's win was more a result of miami's ineptitude than it was the patriots' being any good. but no one in their right mind should take the saints on the road.

STL (-10) over ari
see previous game.

ATL (-6) over tam
also, no one in their right mind should take chris simms on the road. this line should be bigger now that i think about it. i think people are overrating simms performance last week. he could just have easily lost the game and then i think people will temper excitement over the most overrated college qb in the world. incidentally, for some reason it makes a lot of sense to me that jon gruden and chris simms are having a secret homosexual relationship. discuss.

WAS (-6) over oak
i have to officially get off the randy moss bandwagon for this season. just this season mind you, but the raiders offense has been disappointing to say the least. by the way clinton portis' interview shtick has been awesome. i'm hoping that next week, he comes out with a big afro wig and a stethoscope and does the interview as dr. negro or something like that.

DAL (-8) over det
the battle of 33 s soledad as my roommate's team goes against mine. here's some statistics for you to ponder. detroit has lost something like 36 out of their last 38 on the road. in games where joey harrington registers a +100 qb rating like he did last week the highest he's ever followed up with is a 50 qb rating. and for those of you who are holding out hope that jeff garcia will come in and save the day, excluding the t.o. on the star game, the cowboys own garcia. give. me. fifty.

NYG (-7.5) over phi
instead of opposite week, this week i'm doing the NFC east at home week. actually, it looks like i'm pretty much doing the home favorites this week. also, not that you need me to tell you, but philly's season is over.

mia (+2.5) over CLE
ha! fooled you...yeah...there's just no reason to take cleveland here. i semi-suspect a trap of some sort, but miami is just a better team.

sea (-13) over SFO
if you remember correctly, the seahawks beat the niners something like 800-2 last year. i'm going to stop waiting for seattle to eff up this year and just ride them ito the playoffs. lastly, here's some shock value for you. shuan alexander piles up his yards on just 2 or 3 big plays a game. other than that, i think he's a little soft.

SD (-11) over buf
that's a whole lot of points, but i can't in good conscience take j.p. losman on the road. the bills effed up big time with this draft pick, this kid just doesn't have it.

DEN (-13.5) over nyj
dammit, i hate these points. plus i'm sticking with my home favorites theme this week.

BAL (+4) over pit
seriously, isn't it painful to watch tommy maddox play. remember when he was the feel good story of the NFL like two years ago? now people in pittsburgh are trying to rape his kids. sad times for the maddox clan. time to go back to hurst and sell insurance again tommy.

kc (-7) over HOU
larry johnson is going to score at least three touchdowns as bob's fantasy team, stab 'n' eff sticks its dingus up the anus of fredo's team, the sex criminals.

GB (-4.5) over min
this one is too easy and i'd put fifty on this one were it not for the fact that i want to rub my roommate's face into the pile of dogshit that is the detroit lions. the vikings used up their karma last week while effing a million and one parlays.

bonus props! it's bob v. fredo week again in fantasy football. so first off, we'll wager on the fantasy matchup. yahoo has me as a 7 point favorite. the best matchup seems to be between our defenses, as i have carolina going against the bears while fred has the steelers going against the ravens which yahoo predicts both will score 7 points, so let's make leg 2 be who gives up more points, the panthers or the steelers, and along those lines, let's finish up the trifecta with the battle of the shitty qb's named kyle. leg 2 will be who throws more ints, boller or orton. ummm...let's make orton the .5 int favorite here.

so to sum up.

leg 1 - stab 'n' eff (-7) vs. sex criminals
leg 2 - points allowed: carolina (pk) vs. pittsburgh
leg 3 - ints thrown: orton(-0.5) vs. boller

give me stab 'n' eff, pittsburgh, and boller. usual scoring +1 for correct, -1 for incorrect, +2 bonus for getting all three.


arrested development, R.I.P.

fox is cancelling the critically acclaimed show, arrested development. if you follow the entertainment industry, you've heard about this and how it's a great show and how the network is shooting themselves in the foot for not supporting it more and you've probably seen the video clip of david cross dropping f-bombs about the whole thing.

i find all of this very curious. i've seen the show a few times and it's pretty funny. it is definitely different from most of the stuff on network tv, but overall, i'd have to say it's not as funny as curb your enthusiasm. most importantly, it doesn't affect me either way if i see it or not. not to generalize my own experience to the general public, but if the show was that good then why didn't anyone watch it? they complain about how they've been universally recognized by critics and awards and all that, but aren't those just stuck up a-holes who will always give the thumbs up to "cutting edge" network stuff? is it problematic that networks will give shows like joey a longer leash than arrested development. sure it is. but at the same time, i just don't know how you can argue with the network when they say "you're not generating any ratings." and is it a big secret that creating ratings is what television networks are about? i've had this point before, but i've never seen the point in accusing capitalists of being capitalists.

let me put it this way, blaming poor ratings on a major network for not properly marketing your show, is somewhat akin to d-bag alternative acts blaming major record labels for poor album sales. maybe the problem isn't that these capitalist pigs aren't trying hard enough. maybe the problem is that your art doesn't appeal to as many people as your inflated and completely insulated ego thinks that it does.


bobby the gook, week 10

god-effing-dammit, i am really at a lost for words as to my performance this year. i suppose all those years of success picking games are starting to catch up to me. the only thing i can think of is that the cowboys are doing well, and most of fantasy teams are doing ok as well, so i guess i can't win 'em all. or more likely, this has been one weird NFL season. i suppose it doesn't matter since i'm still having lots of fun. anyways, the whole t.o. thing has gotten me worn out on football this week. on sports in general, because all around, it's just a shitty deal for football. nothing good to come out of it. we get cheated out of one of the best athletes in the world, and instead we have to hear about what a big freakin a-hole he is and even worse, we have to hear about what an even bigger freakin' a-hole his agent is. i've also been distracted by the fact that they've found a fossil of a new really scary looking dinosaur. lastly, i've been distracted by the prospect of NFL cheerleaders getting caught having sex for each other and then finding out they were most definitely not hot. sometime's it is hard being a male in this world. anyways, last week saw me get my usual 5-6 games, with 6 games, i got my fifty dollar game, and i got 2 out of the 3 bonus bets for a total of 8 points. the bruschi bet is cancelled because i fell asleep during the game. anyways, fredo barely did better with the games getting 7 of them, but he got a boat load of bonus points, 1 for the fifty dollar bet and 5 for nailing the peyton parlay. so that gives him 13 freakin' points. erik also played along last week, and it turns out he is smarter than all of us cuz he got 9 freakin' games right. he missed his fifty dollar bet and he got two out of three correct for a total of 9 points. anyways, the current standings between me and fredo are fredo - 82, me - 61. i'm falling way out of contention so this week, i'm going to pull out all the stops and go extra mad scientist to try and catch up. if erik wants to jump in the frey, i'll also tally points for us from this point on. anyways, i suck so bad, this week, i'm just going to say eff it and pick the opposite of what i would normally do. so the game descriptions will be reasons why the team i didn't take (who in reality i think will win) will win. i figure i can't do any worse than i normally have been. point spreads from caesar's, home team in caps.

kc (+2.5) over BUF
i really don't understand this line at all. it seems like a trap to me as i'm not sure what is so great about buffalo at home to warrant making them the favorites. so to be on the right side of this trap, i'd take buffalo. (just so we're clear, i like buffalo, but since i'm going crazy, my official pick is kc).

TB (pk) over was
the buccaneers are starting to look like they're the team that started hot, but is now fading fast. i think that cadillac williams will be a fine back, but he's starting to look tired. and chris simms, well, let's put it this way, if you're hoping and praying for brian griese to get better...you're effed.

ne (-3) over MIA
the one thing that i did like about myself last week was that i called ricky's first td of the season, and from the highlights, he looked pretty damn good to me. miami has a real good deal with him and ronnie brown. the patriots on the other hand...well, i think in years past, we would have hated to bet against them two weeks in a row, but the wheels look to be falling off with that defense.

sfo (+13.5) over CHI
chicago is making the best out of really horrible division. i don't think that the niners could beat anyone else in the NFC north, why would i think they can beat the bears.

min (+10) over NYG
the giants have been great at home and from what i can tell they've been especially good against inferior oponents. also the vikes suck on the road. on the plus side, it looks like brad johnson isn't completely running on empty, but he's definitely not going to turn this season around for the vikes.

ari (+4) over DET
the worst thing that could happen to the lions is that they win any more games. they need to hit rock bottom, clean house in management and trade away kevin jones, roy and mike williams, and shaun rogers and just start from scratch. so with their luck, harrington will look ok down the stretch and that will fool the idiotic detroit management to stay the course. and the cards...well, they're just sad. by the way, this kurt warner/joey harrington showdown is one of the worst qb matchups in recent history.

bal (+7) over JAX
this one isn't as easy for the jags as you might think. i feel like they've gotten a little lucky lately. however, since the ravens have basically given up on the season, the jags will continue their paper lion march to the playoffs.

IND (-18) over hou
classic letdown game for the colts. for the texans, the return of andre johnson can only be a good thing. hey fred, what has houston done against the line? from what i can tell they haven't been horrible, so i say that indy puts it on cruise control and houston stays within a couple of TDs.

CAR (-9.5) over nyj
this is an exception to opposite week, because this one is soooooo easy to call. looks like that the panthers are hitting their stride. gimme fifty on this cakewalk for the panthers.

OAK (+3) over den
back to opposite week. there's just no reason to think that denver can't cover this spread. no reason whatsoever. on a side note, i think that it's really funny that even with moss running at about 70% that collins is still always looking for him. not that porter is the next tim brown or anything, but it's not like he's never open. anyways, i should note that plummer is not playing half bad this season, so here's to trying to jinx him.

stl (+6.5) over SEA
again, i'm going to make an exception to opposite week, because this is a mortal lock. the rams are close to full strength with holt, bulger, and maybe even bruce playing in this game. the seahawks are another team that isn't nearly as good as their record indicates. bulger torches the seahawks defense here and the rams continue to play better as underdogs.

ATL (-9.5) over gb
ok, back to opposite week again. i just have a feeling that green bay is going to play well this week. there's no real reason to take the packers here, but i think they'll make a game out of this.

cle (+8.5) over PIT
of course, you have to beware the charlie batch factor, but the steeler's defense makes me horny.

PHI (-3) over dal
this line really confuses me as well. the conventional wisdom is that the eagles really have something to prove this week. i don't buy this for a second. if they had something to prove why didn't they win last week? the obvious thing here is that the eagles are what they were a few years ago, a decent team. the difference now is that their division is much better than they used to be. by the way, i would pay for the ticket myself if i could somehow get t.o. to come to the game and stand on the dallas sideline. that'd be some good tv.

bonus props! since fredo and i have a real parlay in action, we're going to bypass the parlay option again. there are some notable names who have recently gone down for the season and their backups have done ok so far. so we're going to play second string over/under. here are the over/under props:

brad johnson passing TD's - 1.5
larry johnson rushing yards - 115
reggie brown (t.o.'s replacement) recieving yards - 85

give me the brad johnson over, the larry johnson over and the reggie brown under. same scoring system as always, +1 for each leg correct, -1 for each leg incorrect, +2 bonus for hitting all three.


crazy thai people

as janeane garafolo said in the truth about cats and dogs. you can love your animals...just don't looooove your animals.



it looks like chuck klosterman will be writing a monthly column for espn.com's page 2. here is his first installment. like all of his other writing, i find myself in perfect agreement with 50 percent of the column and in perfect disagreement with the other 50 percent. as much as i want to hate him, i am slowly coming to the realization that he may be my generation's greatest journalist. dammit, sometimes life just ain't fair.

fiddy vs. brangelina

50 cent's new movie, get rich or die tryin' had its billboard taken down in philly yesterday. this after complaints by the locals that the billboard promoted gang violence because of the presence of a gun. and this of course coming on the heels of the same thing happening here in southern california. anyways, here's a little experiment. let's look at the billboards for two recent movies:

get rich or die tryin'

and mr and mrs. smith

both of these have guns in the advertisement, yet only one was accused of promoting gang violence. can anyone spot any possible differences or reasons why the two were recieved differently? hint: america sure does seem to hate black people.


fo' sho

i can't even begin to tell you how excited i am. every generation needs its own electric boogaloo

bobby the gook, week 9

this is just getting ridiculous. one of the great mysteries of 2005 will be how i lost my football mojo. perhaps at the end of the season, we'll revisit this topic and discuss possible causes, but for right now, let's just thank the good lord above that i'm not playing with any real money. except for the football pool that i'm in where fred and i are mired at the bottom of the pack. still, it's not time to go crazy yet. we have one half of a football season left. so if my current losing streak is still going by week 10, then it's time to get super mad scientist on you fools. i had a terrible week with six games, minus 1 for the 50 dollar bonus and minus 3 for missing my parlay completely for 2 freakin' points. fredo on the other hand, actually had a shitty week as well with only 5 games, and minus 1 for the fifty dollar bet, but he nailed the parlay for a bonus of +6 for a total of 10 points for the week. the current standings are me - 53, fredo - 69! hey everyone fredo scored 69! yea! if i were fredo, i'd work hard at not winning any more games so that he can finish the season at 69. on with the picks, home team in caps, point spreads from caesar's.

MIN (+1.5) over det
i'm done with the lions. the way they lost that game is one of the worst things i've ever seen in football. that franchise is in complete disarray and matt millen needs to be decapitated and have his head displayed in the locker room as a warning to future GM's. anyways, here's how much vegas hates joey harrington. they're playing what has probably been the worst team in the NFL without their star quarterback, without a defense, and probably a bunch of cases of herpes, and vegas is basically telling you, we just don't know with a small line like that. the lion's season is over, they mail it in from here on out.

sd (-6.5) over NYJ
i could be wrong, but i feel like the bolts have been good against the spread this year, or at least they've alternated. not that it matters against a terrible team like the jets, who are another franchise that pinned to many of their hopes on a quarterback that just can't get it done.

ten (+3) over CLE
uh...yeah....whatever. give me the points.

oak (+4.5) over KC
call me crazy, but i think that lamont jordan is going to have a monster day at arrowhead. i just checked the weather and it's still nice in KC so i think that the chiefs will lose a little bit of the homefield. plus i heart priest holmes

NO (+2.5) over chi
before the hurricane, the saints were maddeningly inconsistent as a team and against the spread. now the team sucks, but they're still maddeningly inconsistent against the spread. i dunno, i just like taking home dogs...

cin (-3) over BAL
...unless your defense is missing its best two players and you're playing a pretty good team...

car (-1.5) over TB
...or your quarterback's name is chris simms. plus it looks like carolina is finally getting it together. i think they've looked really good the past few weeks.

JAX (-13.5) over hou
the big lines just killed me last week, as most of those dogs covered. but like i said last week, after big wins, bad teams almost always will let down. and i know they only beat the browns, but any win for the texans is a big win.

MIA (+3) over atl
back to the home dogs...yeah, i don't know what the falcons have done off the bye, but this just makes sense to me. i figure that vick won't have a great day throwing the ball against a decent miami secondary, and that saban is just going to pound the ball all day. i also think that ricky williams is going to score his first td this week.

SFO (+11) over nyg
really good wins for both the niners and the giants last week. however, history tells me to not take eli manning on the road.

sea (-4) over ARI
kurt warner gets the start for the cards and the hawks are coming off a week of rest. although this one might get f'ed up by holmgren. he still hasn't lost those crucial few games that he should win but effs up anyway, so i'm basically waiting for the other shoe to drop.

pit (-4) over GB
i can't find the line anywhere for this one. presumably it's off because of rothliaasdg;k being out. the only thing that i could find was that the line opened up at 6, so i figure i'd shave off just a few with chuckie batch starting. i think that it's curious that tommy maddox is still on the roster. i mean after what he did in jacksonville, is there any rationale whatsoever to keep this guy around? anyways, the brett favre suicide watch has officially started. you thought 5 ints was a lot? just wait until now, when he's totally mailed it in.

WAS (-3) over phi
both of these teams are coming off pretty embarassing losses last week. the line here is off at caesar's as well, as it seems that it's still up in the air whether or not mcnabb is going to play this week. even with mcnabb though, i like washington's defense alot better than philly's. i mean i like it a whoooooooole lot better, gimme fifty on this one.

NE (+3) over ind
see below

bonus props! i really can't think of a game in the past few years, that when you saw it when the schedules first came out, you knew it was going to be monumental as the new england/colts tilt this monday night. and the reason why this game is so big is for one reason and one reason only: peyton manning. i can't think who has excelled as much as he had that has had as big of a monkey on his back. for the past two years, we've seen the best quarterback of the last five year, heck maybe even of the best qb of his generation turn into a whiny little bitch whenever he faces the pats. i almost felt sorry for him last year as he was standing on the sideline. it really looked like he was about to break down and start crying. it's almost as if he doesn't win this one, he'll never ever win a super bowl, and he'll go down in history with the likes of the dan marinos, the charles barkleys and the ted williamses of the world.

and now, this is his best chance to tame this demon. his team is undefeated and the patriots are most definitely not at full strength. indy's defense is better than it ever has been, and the pats have got nothing in their secondary. i like indy's defense alot and unlike my roommate, i don't think they're overrated. in fact, i think they're pretty effin' awesome. they actually remind me a lot of the early nineties cowboys' defenses, in that they were faster than just about any other unit that anyone could throw out there. these cats can fly. they have a charles haley in dwight freeny. a pass rushing monster that really improves the games of the other less talented defensive lineman. but here's the difference. dallas' secondary was a hell of a lot better with all sorts of solid corners and of course the key piece darren the sherrif woodson patrolling the secondary and crushing any ball carrier who dare get past eight yards of the line of scrimmage. indy's secondary is ok, but nothing like the cowboys. and with tom brady throwing the passes...well, did any of you see the baltimore game last week. what he did, bringing his team back to score three td's like that in the fourth quarter...well, i hate to invoke this phrase, but that was just plain jordanesque. so that's why i expect indy to fold like an unsuited 2-7. and since this game is all about peyton, we'll build our bonuses around mannings' performance.

leg 1 - # of ints thrown over/under - 1.5
leg 2 - # of TDs throw over/under - 2.5
leg 3 - passing yards over/under - 275

usual scoring system 1 pt per leg, however, i'm going to limit bonus points to 2 if you get all three. i'll take the under on the first 2 and the over on the last one.

super duper bonus props - the only thing that can detract from the manning talk is tedi bruschi. i'm glad as anyone that he's back, but part of me (the extremely dark and sorry part) almost wants him to suffer some kind of serious heart problem during the game that like makes him lose the use of his legs or something, just so that we can stop overpraising this guy for being brave or courageous or full of heart or some phony crap like that. don't get me wrong, he's an above average linebacker, but he's nowhere in the same league as the ray lewis' or the lawrence taylor's of the world. people just want to make him a hero because he looks and acts like mr. generic white sports guy. so this prop is going to be super duper - one of us is going to get an extra point, and one of us is going to lose a point. we have to predict the number of times that ABC from kickoff to the game clock expires, shows tedi bruschi on the sidelines doing nothing. in other words, how much attention is going to be paid to tedi bruschi than would otherise normally be paid to him. so if he's shown walking off the field after he makes a play or trying to fire up his teammates or talking to a coach, that is something that you would expect. i want to know how often they cut to him, just standing there doing nothing just so that they can talk about him. i can't even begin to think of an over under, which is why i'm forcing both of us to just give guesses. the person who is closer without going over wins a point. the other person loses a point. i think that they'll show him a lot during the first part of the game, but then switch angles as it becomes clearer that peyton manning is seriously questioning his sexuality, but even so, they'll still show him at least twice a quarter. i'll guess 7 cuts to brusci doing nothing.


gwen stefani and her asian schoolgirl crew

interesting post from margaret cho's blog about this phenomenon.
...a Japanese schoolgirl uniform is kind of like blackface, I am just in acceptance over it, because something is better than nothing. An ugly picture is better than a blank space, and it means that one day, we will have another display at the Museum of Asian Invisibility, that groups of children will crowd around in disbelief, because once upon a time, we weren't there.


white people love football guys with crew cuts

after a start that surprised everyone, notre dame gave charlie weiss a 10 YEAR EXTENSTION!!!!! ten freakin years after just five lousy wins. and they're gonna give him 3 million a year! what the hell is going on!

let me get this straight. ty willingham brings notre dame back from the dead his first year, gets no extension and then gets fired 2 years later. charlie weiss wins five games (and loses two games he probably should have won), and they give him 10 freakin years and a zillion dollars.

it'll be interesting to see if good ol' boy charlie weiss will get the same kind of treatment that willingham did if he falters after just two years. i'm not saying that notre dame is racist, but why didn't ty willingham get that kind of extension halfway through his first freakin season?

for a while i was back on the notre dame bandwagon for a while. black head coach, moved away from the midwest around the really obnoxious notre dame fans....yeah, i'm off of this wagon now. i don't care how good charlie weiss is, the lack of integrity in their football program is more evident than ever. lou holtz would've never put up with this crap.

weekend quick hits

1) jean van de velde is a big douchebag. for those of you who don't remember, he's the pro golfer who went in to the last hole of the 1999 british open with a four shot lead, went all tin cup on the hole, triple bogeyed and lost. anyways, he says he's going to try and qualify for a major women's event next year, the british open. he says he wants to expose how ridiculous it is to let a woman play on the men's tour. a couple of things that need to be said. first, the whole logic behind this kind of crap is just so stupid. no it's not the same thing as when a woman competes on the men's tour. and no it's not different because men are superior athletes. women are not welcomed in the brotherhood of sport, so it is a big deal when we see at least some attempt at equity within a sport...i.e. annika or michelle wie playing on the men's tour. when the opposite happens, it's just the same kind of oppression and ignorance being repeated. his argument is like the argument that affirmative action takes away jobs from whites. just stupid. the second thing that needs to be said is that i think it's pretty easy to see why van de velde is doing this. aside from his big choke in 99, he's generally had a pretty successful career. however, he's never been able to live down '99. i think that he must really hate this legacy. not that i blame him either. it must be hard to live with the title of one of the professional sporting worlds biggest chokers of all time. so it follows that what he is doing now, making a big hoo-ha about women's golf is simply an attempt to distance himself from this legacy. which makes this all the more sorrier, since he probably really doesn't care whether or not women play on the tour. however, there is good news. no matter what happens, his arrogance and idiocy cost him a major in 1999. he is basically the only professional golfer who goes into that situation and then loses. which no matter what happens with the women's golf thing, makes him one of the parigdigmatic losers of all time.

2) dodgers gm, paul la podesta got fired this weekend. for those of you who are only casually interested in baseball, this isn't that big a deal. for those of you who are very interested in baseball and my dissertation topic, the use of sabermetrics in baseball, then this is extremely interesting. i'm working on a much more longer and involved post right now, so keep your eyes out for it, but it definitely warrants mentioning in the weekend round up section.

3) news from the world of hip hop...did anyone see this coming? the only thing left now is to get suge and dre back together.

4) for some reason, my roommate thinks my blog readers need to my commentary on the fact that the actor that played mr. sulu, george takei has come out of the closet. first of all, actors coming out of the closet is about as newsworthy as israelis and palestinians blowing each other up. we all know that it's happening, but the truth is, most of us don't really care. second, anyone who knows their pop culture knows that a subculture of star trek fans exists that write slash fiction dedicated to exploring the homoerotic nuances of star trek. even though the focus mostly on spock and kirk, there are a few forays into the other characters such as sulu. i could go on about how this is a convergence of the real world with this subculture, let me reiterate, i don't care. i guess he's asian and that should be of interest of me, but this is someone who has been in show business for a long time, and according to the story, has been out to his family in friends for a long time. so i guess it's great, but it won't be as blog worthy as when kordell stewart comes out of the closet (actually, my money is on terell owens).

you tell me...who looks gayer?

5) it looks like the saints are headed out of new orleans. bill simmons of espn.com likens this to the guy who divorces his wife while she is in a coma for a blonde bimbo, which i think is a pretty good analogy. of course everyone, particularly those from louisiana are all pissed off and calling for the cleveland plan (when the browns left, the league got art modell to give up the rights to the browns name and promised cleveland the first expansion franchise). now i feel bad for the state and all, but it's not like the dallas cowboys are up and leaving or anything. i'm sure that saints' fans will be upset, but honestly, are there thay many of them? especially with the way they've been playing lately? if i'm the owner of the saints, who was thinking about moving the franchise anyways, why would i commit to stay in a town that is at least a decade from full economic recovery? it's his right to leave i say. it just seems weird to me that an enterprise that is as capitalistic as pro sports is held to such socialistic expectations. which of course, is the whole point of my dissertation, but more on that later.

6) lindsay lohan to star in indie film written and directed by emilio estevez. there are a lot of things that are strange about that last sentence, i don't even know where to start. let's just hope that it's one of those indie films with lots of nudity.


bobby the gook, week 8

sorry, about the last post on the nfl, had to catch a flight to sanantone for a wedding. good time was had by all, but it's time to get back to business. overall, fredo keeps kicking my ass, and i'm almost to the point where i'm going to have to go mad scientist to catch up. a quick note on the bonus game. i can close bonuses if i want, cuz i'm the house. fredo didn't hit his parlay, but he did get 2 out of three. what i'll do is i'll go ahead and award him one point for getting 2 out of 3 right (+2 for the 2 he got right, -1 for the one he missed). i would've normally given an extra point for getting 2 out of three, but like i said, i'm the house here and i didn't have access to a computer that weekend. i think that this is a fair compromise. anyways, i've recently figured out that one of the things that i haven't been doing is going through the injury lists as thoroughly as i should be, so i'm going to do that this week and hope it helps out. anyways, this is how the last two weeks shook down.

Week 6

Games Correct79
50 $ bet+1+1
Week 6 Total1216

Week 7*

Games Correct77
Week 7 Total78
* there was no $50 bet for either bob or fred, and bob did not get a bonus bet in.

so anyways, our current standings: me - 51, fredo - 59. on with the betting. home team in caps, point spreads from caesar's.

NYG (-2.5) over was
yeah, the giants won on a miracle last week, but the offense should be fine with burress back catching passes. although i really hate this game because it doesn't look like brunell is showing any signs of slowing down this season. this could go either way, so i'll just go with the home team. on a related note, after eli won the game on a last second td last week, his brother peyton sent him 4 complimentary passes to his newly revamped all-male revue bar, interceptions.

CIN (-9) over gb
well, it was nice while it lasted. green bay goes from suck to suckier with ahman green and robert ferguson going down this week. favre is ready to blow his brains out. it seems to me that he's still depressed about how he should have retired last season. look for this funk to go on for one more game before he decides to eff it all and turns into the interception throwing gunslinger of old and the pack starts upsetting people. but like i said, that starts next week.

DET (-3) over chi
no i don't think things are going to change much with the dawn of the jeff garcia era, but i certainly don't like kyle orton on the road.

CAR (-8) over min
terrible teams always let down after miraculous wins. that's what makes them terrible.

oak (-2) over TEN
for some reason, caesar's has this one off the board right now. from what i can tell from the injury report, mcnair is a go, and moss will play, but in a limited role. still, i like the raiders here only because i think they're gonna be better than they have been and i think they make start their playoff push with a bunch of wild ass shootouts, starting here. p.s. they still won't make the playoffs.

DAL (-9) over ari
this one is giving me fits. is it just me or is this spread to big especially with julius still out? (yes) and is bledsoe about to turn into the qb that he was for the past two years? (i'm getting the shakes just thinking about it) dare i take a stupid qb like josh mccown on the road? (probably shouldn't) do i trust the dallas secondary to cover a physical reciever like anquan boldin? (well, they seemed to be able to keep t.o. and plaxico in check). man, eff this game, and eff the cardinals, and even though the cowboys always seem to have trouble with this team, give me the cowboys.

HOU (-2) over cle
this really ought to be a pickem, but we'll go on the decidedly unscientific logic that this is houston's best chance to win a game. although i'm hoping that this is at least a shootout as i;ve got dilfer and antonio bryant filling in for some of my fantasy bye week players.

NO (-2.5) over mia
another game that i just don't give a crap about. since my usual football genius has been shaky this year, i'll go with stupid crap like the saints get an emotional lift from playing their first game in louisiana (baton rouge) this week. also, i hear that the dolphins defense is banged up to hell.

jax (-3) over STL
is there really any reason bet with jamie martin under center? well, the rams are at home, but torry holt and isaac bruce look like no-gos this week. stephen jackson ought to have a great game, but i think the jagoffs' defense will be enough. the line on this one is off as well at caesar's so i went with espn's number here as well.

kc (+6) over SD
i'll take t. green over d. brees thank you very much. by the way, take the over here as well (50).

tam (-11.5) over SFO
i keep screwing up some of the abbreviations for the teams. tampa bay's official abbreviation is tam, not tb. anyways, alex smith is going to go down the likes of akili smith and ryan leaf. this guy sucks. everyone is saying how smart he is, and how that will get him through. good luck with all that. cadillac williams is going to run for 280 yds in this game, and the bucs defense will score at least once. gimme fiddy.

DEN (-3.5) over phi
only because they're at home. stay away.

NE (-9) over buf
game one of the northeast sunday night/monday night stinker double header. belichick off the bye...fuggedaboutit.

PIT (-10) over bal
big ben and hines coming back, check. ray lewis and ed reed out for this game, check. pittsburgh looking to show the world just how much metroplex school boy hero tommy maddox from l.d. bell high school, who in his senior year led the area in passing in football AND scoring in basketball, check. looks like i have all the favorites reasserting themselves this week.

bonus props - for me one of the big stories of the year is just how much daunte culpepper has sucked it. let's set the over/under for the number of INT's he throws against a above average secondary in carolina + the number of times he fumbles. i'll set daunte's turnover line at 2, and i'll take the over. but wait, there's more. let's set up a trifecta of props. so daunte is part 1. part two is the number of TD's scored in the pathetic texans/browns games. inept offense vs. inept defense. the line is 37, so i'll interpret that as four TD's total, but i think that this is going to end up being a shootout. i'll take the over. the final leg will be an old prop. cadillac williams vs. a crappy defense in the niners. we'll set the line at 120 yds, and i'll take the over here as well.

so to recap. leg 1 daunte's turnovers, over/under at 2, give me the over. leg 2, number of TDs scored between the texans/browns, over under at 4, i'll take the over. leg 3, rushing yards by cadillac williams, over/under at 120, give me the over. one point for each leg correct, minus one for each incorrect, and a super bonus this week of 3 points for 3 out of 3 and a one point bonus for 2 out of 3.

no parlays this week. i'm the goddammed house here, so my rules are the rules.



two items of note

1) reigning WNBA MVP, sheryl swoopes comes out of the closet. good for her of course, but i'm wary of calling this a watershed moment in sports that at least one commentator is calling it. don't get me wrong, i'm always glad when someone feels that the bad sanctions of being gay don't outweigh the benefits of coming out. however, in terms of sports and its relationship to sexuality, it does not change much. aside from my biases about the WNBA not being a major sport, i feel that we shouldn't be as surprised as when a female athlete comes out as when a male athlete does. sure being gay runs counter to the general ethos of masculinity in sports, but women in athletics has always been tied to lesbianism. the logic goes, a female is participating in a male dominated domain, therefore she must be innately more like a man, which includes being attracted to women. of course, this is all socially constructed bullshit, but the fact is, there is almost a societal expectation that women athletes are closer to lesbians than other women. look at any of the other major women's sports and there are always rumors or some stars who are openly gay. the williams' sisters, women's golfers, you name it, there is always some kind of talk. there's also the sheer physical spectacle of sports and how in a real sense it is about objectifying human bodies, male or female, black or white. sports is intimately bound up with sexuality and in a weird perverted way, it makes sense that lesbianism as a vehicle for male erotic enjoyment would be bound up with sports.

now i'm not saying that it is easy for a woman athlete to be openly gay. what i am saying is that if you have to rank it, this is not a big a deal in our collective minds than say, if lebron james were to come out of the closet. i hope that this would be a stepping stone for more athletes to defy what michael messner calls the hegemonic masculinity of sports, but the true watershed moment will come when a major male football, baseball, or basketball star comes out of the closet.

2) the air force's head football coaches thinks that in order to get a faster team, the air force academy ought to recruit more african-americans. according to the espn.com story:
Air Force coach Fisher DeBerry, expressing frustration Tuesday with the Falcons' slumping performance, attributed the latest loss in part to No. 20 TCU's having more black players who "can run very, very well."
deberry further exacerbates the situation with this quote
It just seems to be that way, that Afro-American kids can run very, very well. That doesn't mean that Caucasian kids and other descents can't run, but it's very obvious to me they run extremely well...
aside from the obviously racist undertones of the idea that black equals faster, he is also implying that this bias actually hurts white athletes more than it does black athletes! apparently, this is not a new way of thinking about this issue.

something else that i thought was also interesting was that when i saw this story on sportscenter this morning, they mentioned that fewer than 10% of air force academy cadets are black. i don't know what the numbers are off hand for the other academies, but i would venture to say that the air force academy has the smallest percentage, which in terms of racial heirarchy makes some sense. not to sound to conspiratorial, but with all of the casualties that we are hearing about in iraq being disporportionately people of color, i would also imagine that they are disprortionately not people in the air force. my logic is that the air force carries the least risk of death, especially in light of the type of war against the insurgents that the US is fighting in the middle east. so despite his ineloquence and probably misguided thinking, coach deberry is actually right. there probably are too few african americans that are recruited into the air force academy. appropriately enough, an recruitment ad for the air force ran right after the story featuring, yep, you guessed it, an african american. what's really goofy is that the commercial starts out with a bunch of dudes snowboarding in the forest and the african-american uses his GPS skills to lead the way home, which is then shown to be related to his skills learned from being a bomber pilot. not that it matters the marketing stuff that the air force is employing here, but when's the last time you went skiing and saw a bunch of african americans on the lift. i've never been skiing, so i wouldn't know, but it seems to be a bit out of sync to use diversity in this way on this commercial.


so who do i write to for my check?

according to technorati:

My blog is worth $2,822.70.
How much is your blog worth?

compare this to the $9M that boing boing is worth. not a whole lot but enough to keep me blogging for another few weeks.


bobby the gook, week 7

ok kids, i'm off to san antonio. we'll settle up later, but here are this week's picks. home team in caps, lines from caesar's palace.

kc (-1) over MIA
STL (-3) over no
gb (-3) over MIN
HOU (+15.5) over ind
CIN (+1) over pit
PHI (-3.5) over sd
CLE (-3) over det
sfo (+13) over WAS
SEA (-3) over dal
OAK (-3) over buf
CHI (-1) over bal
ten (+3) over ARI
NYG (+2) over den
ATL (-7.5) over nyj

ok gottago, don't know if i'll be able to do anything extra this week, so bonus props are closed.


sports quick hits

1) more from the minnesota sex-boat scandal. the vikes owner let the players have it in what espn.com is calling a profanity filled "intense talk". in other words, he bitched them out. i know that he's the new owner, but at this level, it seems dumb to me that someone thinks that they can turn a bunch of athletes into saints by yelling at them. if he was really concerned about character, he'd find out who was involved and then he'd cut them, which to his credit, he has threatened to do. but as you might guess, i'll believe when i see it. besides, have you seen the vikings defense this year. if you take away fred smoot, the vikings might lose every game left this year. anyways, again, i think we should take note of the language. particularly, the "intense talk" part. it makes it seem like that he's actually doing something positive for the team. while if it were someone else, say a teammate yelling at his teammates for the things that they've done off the field, that person would probably be considered a pariah. and of course, you might guess, i don't think it's an accident that wilf is being portrayed positively here because he is seen as putting a bunch of black men in their place. just something to chew on....

2) in one of the biggest non-events of the year. michael jordan is going to appear on 60 minutes. the story says that he cops to gambling, but not really. in the story, jordan is quoted:
Yeah, I've gotten myself into [gambling] situations where I would not walk away and I've pushed the envelope. It's very embarrassing ... one of the things you totally regret. So you look at yourself in the mirror and say, 'I was stupid.'
before i continue, i just want to note the complete misuse of the phrase "push the envelope". i think that if it sounds like a cliche, then athletes feel compelled to work it in their speech. but i digress, the story also says that he never jeapordized his career or his family. it's kinda hard to interpret what he's saying from that quote, so i hope to see it on sunday, but i was thinking it could go two ways. first, he could be issuing a half apology for his public gambling hijinks. in other words, he's apologizing, but not really. he's trying to make himself look like any other dude who likes to go to vegas. every once in a blue moon, when you don't win at anything in vegas, you think to yourself, "crap why didn't i walk away?" so in other words, he's actually not coming clean with the gambling. he's just trying to make himself look like you and me who go to vegas every now and again, lose some money that we didn't need, and is not a crazy gambler. and if you believe all the stories about making $100,000 bets on the golf course, he most certainly is. the second theory is that he's telling everyone to back off of his gambling habits because it's his money and he can do what he wants with it. the part about never jeapordizing his family, is silly if you think about it. jordan could go to vegas, blow ten million dollars and he would still have more money that all of us normal people put together. what do we care that he spends his money on gambling? i mean jerry seinfeld blows all of his money on antique porsche's and nobody seems to care. the thing is, i don't think anyone cares about the gambling rumors either. hey, the guy won 6 championships and then retired after he won his last (i don't care what anyone says, his stint with the wizards didn't count). so there's no danger of him fixing games. let the man gamble if he wants to.

3) cnn.si is doing this semi-goofy-but-cool-at-the-same-time thing. they have a bunch of "photo articles" posted. so normally, they'll do something like, the 25 greatest homers in world series history, and then you click through a photo album and each picture has a little description of the homer. the lists are a little goofy sometimes, but it's a good idea since sports photography can be so compelling sometimes. well, since about three weeks ago, they started doing these photo articles showing NFL and college cheerleaders. if you go to the cnn.com website, the link under the sports section that has been there all week (as opposed to current headlines) is "A must-see NFL cheerleaders gallery". now don't get me wrong, i appreciate cheesecake as much as anybody does. and i really don't have a problem with cnn.si putting these pictures up that are targeted at their core audience. sure it's slightly misogynist, but there's plenty worse on the web. what i do have a problem with is that if you flip through the cheerleader photo albums, cnn doesn't identify the name of the cheerleader. instead, they just list the team name next to the ladies photo. i know that it's a small thing, but that small thing really reinforces the idea of objectification here. as far as i know, professional photographers are supposed to get the name of any people that they take a picture of for the very purposes of captioning. i mean in the swimsuit issue they list the name of the model don't they? how is this different? like i said, not really that big a thing, but it seems pretty crass for a professional organization like CNN or SI.

4) i'm a bit conflicted about the world series since i was born in texas, but went to school in chicago. ahh...eff the astros, go sox!

5) don't click here. i warned you.


clothes make the athlete?

2 interesting stories involving athletes and the clothes that they wear.

1) the NBA is adopting a dress code for its players for when the are participating in any league activities. this means pre-game, post game, public appearances, etc. apparently a.i. won't be able to wear gold chains or shirts without sleeves and collars at his post game press conference. it seems like the official word from the NBA is "business casual", but you don't need me to point out that what they're really trying to say is, "we don't want our NBA players to look like black people." which is odd, since the hip-hop lifestyle is such an integral part of NBA culture. it would make sense to most people that this would actually not appeal to the NBA's core audience. so it begs the question, who is the NBA trying to appease with this policy?

let me start by throwing out a fantastic conspiracy theory. the NBA is actually trying to appease the athletic apparel makers. my guess is that in the next few months, you are going to see all of the major athletic apparel brands, nike, reebok, adidas, etc...roll out their new line of formal wear. in fact, i'm amazed that no one has done this yet. imagine, a nice pinstripe, three-piece suit, with the adidas stripes on your lapel. how would that not sell. or better yet, nike could roll out their formal wear line and instead of a normal stripe on the side of the tuxedo pants, you replace it with one big swoosh. how am i not a marketing executive? but seriously, i just wanted to be clear that the new NBA dress code is directly related to race here.

2) some kid refuses to wear adidas, and his university won't let him play ball. in fact, this guy is the team's leading scorer. arkansas state university is required by contract to have its players wear adidas, but the the kid says that he hurt his ankle using bad adidas shoes. he says he'll sue, and i hope to god he does. i've always thought that it was just real stinking rotten that coaches got to sign million dollar contracts with apparel companies when the coaches are basically never seen wearing the clothes (again, the mike formal wear line conspiracy makes even more sense on the college level). again, just another way that colleges exploit their athletes. imagine if i told my students that they had to do their assignments on a hewlett packard computer because i had signed a contract with them. do you think that would hold up in court?

anyways, the school is claiming that they're in the right because there is no proof that adidas shoes are any worse than other kinds of shoes. and there's the rub for the shoe companies. if this case gets more press, not only will it be publicly declared that adidas' shoes are no worse than nike's or reebok', but it is also going to be publicly declared that their shoes are no better than anyone else's as well. fight the power kid!


weekend roundup

it was just one of those weekends, when nothing happened but advancing through levels of tony hawk underground 2. but a whole lot worth blogging happened, so i'm going to make this an extra long one.

let's start with two stories about women in sports

1) michelle wie got disqualified in her first tournament as a pro. now i don't care about her getting dq'ed. rules is rules. however, when i watched the press conference afterwards it did seem rather surreal that this girl was having to answer tough questions about competing on a pro level. on the one hand, i suppose that she should have expected it when turning pro. however, it was quite uncomfortable for me to watch this 16 year old girl atone for her mistake so publicly. i mean she's 16! perhaps i'm being a little sexist, as i can't tell you how i felt when fredy adu first got asked this kind of question, but from what i can tell, wie is very much a 16 year old girl, who's not that articulate, and i'm afraid that money is going to ruin her, if it already hasn't. did i mention that she's only 16?

i don't care how good at golf my daughter is, i'm never gonna let her wear shoes like that.

2) atta-girl danica. i can't even begin to get into the ridiculousness of this story. just read it yourself, and know that if it were a male instead of danica patrick, you'd never hear such inane quotes from race car drivers. oh wait a second, yes you would because professional race car drivers are idiots.

now's here's the rest of the best of the weekend.

3) a-rod's mom says that he was distracted by the death of his uncle. this may be well and true but it doesn't change the fact that a-rod never has been good in a pressure situation before. there are a ton of studies done to disprove the idea of a clutch hitter, all of which i believe. however, i haven't seen any any studies done on the idea of anti-clutch.

4) tedi bruschi has been cleared by doctors to return to the field following a stroke 6 months ago. a couple of things about this. first, it kills me that everyone is calling him the spiritual leader of the patriots. lack of spiritual leadership isn't the patriots problem. it's corey dillon being injured and duane starks not being able to cover anyone. second, i think that it might be illuminating to compare the rhetoric surrounding his possible return to someone else's. last night, on espn chris berman kept saying, "no matter what the decision, i think everyone hopes that it's the right decision." today, in peter king's monday morning quarterback column (scroll down, item 1d) he says:
I hope Tedy Bruschi's making the right decision. I have a feeling he is. I know it's fashionable in my business to rip what Bruschi is about to do -- come back to play football eight months after having a minor stroke, but I can't put myself in his shoes, and I can't blindly rip a doctor who says Bruschi's not at risk by playing football.
here's the deal, no one is ripping brusci. instead the feeling i get is that most people are hailing him as the savior for the pats. the one that can inspire all these fuzzy feelings in his fellow teammates which will turn around new england's disappointing start. if he does return, words like "courage", "toughness", and "desire" are going to be tossed around like monkey's flinging their own poop. if god forbid anything happens to bruschi after he makes his return, you'll hear the ultimate empty sports platitude, "sacrifice" being used. in other words, the press can't wait for tedi bruschi to return since it'll make a great story about an selfless athlete who embodies the ideals of sports. all this about a guy who has been cleared by medical professionals to play. they make it sound like lazarus rising from the dead or something.

now let's compare this to the reaction last year, when terrell owens, against the advice of his doctors, came back and while risking a career ending injury, gave the eagles the only shot they had at winning a super bowl. if you recall, everyone called him selfish, a prima donna, and someone who was a distraction to his teammates. don't get me wrong, i know that t.o. is an ass and i'm actually a big bruschi fan (fellow U of A wildcat), but if you really think about it, these two situations aren't that different. in both situations, you have pretty good players coming back to their team despite substantial health risks for themselves. the difference of course is their reception by media, et. al. oh yeah....one guy is a white choir boy with the waspiest haricut of all time, and the other guy is a black guy who speaks his mind. i'll let you connect the dots.

hi everyone, my name is tedi. just because i have a big hole in my heart, it doesn't mean i still don't love robin williams and billy joel. seriously...my hair kicks ass.

5) the new owner of the minnesota vikings, zygi wilf is promising to clean up the football program over there. in fact, he's already hired a security director at the behest of NFL commisioner/fascist dictator paul tagliabue. well...good luck with all that. pro athletes are pro athletes. sure the minnesota viking funboat may have been a little crazy, but to think that NFL players are going to all of a sudden stop having illicit sex with the numerously available athlete groupies is stupid. maybe if all players were more like tedi bruschi....ah never mind.

6) what the vikings really ought to do is hire this guy. according to the story, the principal of a catholic high school cancelled prom when he found out that students use prom as an excuse to get drunk and lose their virginity. at first glance, i thought that this guy was just being a party pooper, but it turns out that if you read the article, this guy may not be out of line after all. these kids sound like a bunch of little a-holes who need a good kick to the crotch if you ask me. and now that i think about it, while my prom was ok, if i could go back in time, i'd rather have the money that i spent on it back.

7) back to paul tagliabue...did anyone know that his son is openly gay? me neither until i read it this past week on deadspin. in fact, he's so gay that paul tagliabue has won an award from PFLAG for being such a swell father to his gay son. well, maybe that doesn't have anything with his son's degree of gayness, but i digress. it's just real interesting to think that someone that the GLBT (is that what they're calling it these days? did i miss anyone?) community considers such an ally would be in charge of an institution that reinforces traditional masculinity discourse (which of course, includes homophobia), but at the same time, be one of the most homo-erotic spectacles in the history of ever (i heart mike vick!). while i guess that whatever the tagliabues did to deserve the award is nice, but it seems to me that the NFL is one of the more tight lipped organizations when it comes to this issue. and of course, as we all know, silence means acceptance of the status quo. all i'm saying is that PFLAG ought to think about that before they hand out awards to any famous straight people with gay relatives.

8) i caught most of the USC-Notre Dame game this weekend, and it was easily one of the best college football games i've seen in years. you thought matt leinart was getting lots of tail before? i can't even imagine the number of groupies that are going to lined up outside of his door, now that he's a bonified sports hero.

holy cow pete! either your penis is a lot bigger than i though or my a-hole is a lot smaller.

9) this is really a bad idea.

10) this is a great idea.