i knew dave eggers was good for something

hey kids, i'm back from my windy city wedding party excursion. this month's edition featured yet another high school chum and had me in a starring role as the best man.

anyways, like all good gen x-ers, i've read dave eggers a heartbreaking work of staggering genius. however, unlike all good gen x-ers, i really wasn't that impressed with it. like gen x-ers themselves, i found the book to be well written, occasioinally funny, even hilarious at times, but despite its desperation to say something something important, it doesn't and just comes off like a whiny little bitch. the movie equivalent would be the horrendous joe pesci/brendan fraser vehicle, with honors. it tried so hard to be that special movie, but failed in every way. in other words, AHWOSG ends up being a few hundred pages of someone saying, "look how clever i am". or in ragin' asian parlance, the whining and the mastabutory style of the book add up to a few hundred pages of someone saying, "what about me?".

anyways, as many of you know dave eggers went on to publish, mcsweeny's, which was supposed to be a journal where unknown authors could publish something, but was ultimately read by nobody except that pretentious douchebag that spends way too much time at the coffee shop by himself reading poetry or some gay crap like that. in other words, it was exactly like AHWOSG, except less critically lauded.

anyways, i stumbled across mcsweeny's website and i found mcsweeny's lists. think of it as the edgier, nerdier, yet more literarily savvy version of dave letterman's top 10 lists. plenty of lists to kill alot of time with. and it looks like it's updated on a regular basis. and in my never-ending quest to bring you sources of web procrastination, i've added it to the list of weekly links on the right sidebar there. plenty of lists here for your next penalty kill. here are two of my favorite lists.
Song Titles, Before Editing for Language Efficiency and Clarity.

"My Wings Feel a Stirring of Air Beneath Them. Is That Air You? Methinks Yes"

"I Have Looked for Quite Some Time, but, Alas, the Object of My Search Has Eluded Me"

"Caroline, You Are Delectable"

"Baby, You Hit Me Once, and When You Did, All I Could Think Was That I Would Relish Your Doing It Once More"

"It Is Morning and You Are Glorious, but I Am Still Unclear About What the Story Is"

"I Have a Primate Made of Copper and Zinc"

"Up There, Where the Clouds Are, Is Lucy, With Her Precious Carbon-Based Gemstones That Required Extreme Pressure and Temperatures of More Than 2,192 Degrees Fahrenheit to Become What They Are"

"It Is Impossible for You, or Anyone Else for That Matter, to Purchase Love For or From Me"

"Hey. What's Up? It's London"
and of course, i had to include this list
From the Prog Rock Ice Cream Shoppe: Flavors Inspired by a Certain Canadian Power Trio.

Vanilla Strangiato

A Rocky Road to Bangkok

Chocolate Chip Xanadough

By-Tor and the Sno-gurt

Cookie 'n' Red Barchetta

Cygnus X1 Book: Fudge

New World Mango

Limelight Sorbet

Distant Early Praline

Tom Soy


because everyone else's blog has this picture up

apparently, phil spector is going to go with the "insanity by way of sticking your finger in the light socket" defense.

also, something that is obscured by the hair in this picture is spector's extremely grotesque disjointed triple chin.


forces of nature collide

the one and only t. cruise appeard on fellow central coast resident, oprah winfrey's television show. some of the visual results were geniusly captured here at defamer and a bunch of people had an internet discussion about it here. my favorite quote:
I like Tom Cruise now. His insanity has come to the fore. He had no personality before. Now, he's like a member of your family.

If your family had an crazy uncle who was liable to take a dump on the Thanksgiving turkey.
if anyone's tivoed this, please get me a copy, ASAP.

"that's so crazy oprah. me? gay? it's so obviously tru...er...laughable."

because we here at the ragin' asian are fond of bears

i was in LA this weekend, and it was pretty f-in warm. apparently, this bear decided to do something about it.


a glimmer of hope for the WNBA?

this just in from the beautiful rochester/buffalo ny area, some 11 year old girl pitched a perfect game against boys, striking out all 18 of them while she was at it no less. of course, the obvious reaction...have the evils of steroids lodged its tentacles into little league?

really bad spin

this is kinda late, but still worth noting. former dallas cowboys great nate newton recently gave an interview detailing his drug dealing days. for those of you who don't know, after a stellar career with the cowboys that included two pro bowl appearances and three super bowls, newton got busted with over 200 lbs of marijuana in his mini-van. subsequently, he spent two and a half years in prison.

anyways, what i like best is his quote, "I've always been competitive, I've always been in sports. I couldn't see myself not being the biggest dope man." which translated into regular english is big nate saying, "i'm really not a bad guy, like all of those other drug dealers. you see, i'm an athlete, who's competitive, so i had no choice but to become a drug dealer."

not that i care, after all, i was a huge fan of the drug addled cowboys of the 90's, i just don't like the disingenious-ness of nate's quotes.

more on the color red

earlier on this blog, i wrote about how some idiots think that using red ink to grade papers is detrimental to learning. well now, we get new research that the color red is conducive to winning in sports. just horrible horrible theorizing here folks. how do you explain the russian hockey team losing in 1980? or how about the years of losing that the arizona cardinals have had to endure? oh wait, the philadephia phillies have sucked ass for years now. i really need to hurry up and get my PhD so that i can put these idiots in their place.


rex chapman, brown sugar, and the sports-race connection

former nba player, rex chapman recently revealed that university officials discouraged him from dating black women while he was a star at the university of kentucky. this of course on the heels of his revelation that the owner of the charlotte hornets, george shinn, basically did the same thing.

of course, we're talking about kentucky here, so in some respects, we're really not surprised that something racist would happen there. but on the other hand, for those people out there who think race has nothing to do with what happens in sports, this is just another bullet in my gun that says race is a central axis on which sports is organized.


new pop life mp3 available for download

the pop life v2.0 broadcast from may 14, 2005 is now available for download at the pop life v2.0 blog and at the pop life radio show archives page.

people magazine's 50 most generic people

so i was surfing around and found people magazine's annual 50 most beautiful people list for this year. just a few quick comments.

1) for some reason, julia roberts is #1. i've been trying to figure out how this makes any sense in a year where the only thing that she's done is squeeze out a pup. here is the blurb from her picture:
Now that she has the babies, she has reached her peak of beauty," says Julia Roberts's friend and makeup artist Genevieve. "She is satisfied and content. All of that shows. It shows through the makeup, through the pictures. Being a mom has changed her whole life." And the 37-year-old actress has adopted a no-fuss approach to beauty. "She likes to dress like a normal housewife or mother," says Genevieve. "She doesn't care at all."
call me crazy, but this sounds a little screwy to me. but i guess it makes sense in that people magazine is so generic, that it would advocate something like a "kids complete your life" kinda stance that i think we all know is rooted in the "women should stay at home" stance. from what i can tell, her nose is still a little crooked, she's skinnier than ever, she hasn't had a good role since erin slutovich, and now that she's had a baby, i imagine her waddle-like-i-have-a-stick-up-my-butt walk is even more pronounced than it used to be. if anyone out there can enlighten me as to why people love julia roberts so much, please, enlighten me.

2) ann margaret is on the list as well. now don't get me wrong, ann margaret is as hot as 50 year olds come these days. however, again, it seems the whole reason why she is on there is because she's featured alongside...lindsey lohan. they're is an extremely unsuccessful to make a connection between the two
1960s film star Ann-Margret and 18-year-old ingénue Lindsay Lohan have often been compared. "Oh, yes. I see a lot of me in her," says Ann-Margret, 64. "It's a huge compliment," says Lohan, who maintains her porcelain complexion by staying out of the sun. As for being natural redheads, Lohan feels "it sets you apart. There's a certain fire with redheads." Agrees Ann-Margret: "We're very spunky."
where in the f does this analogy come from? did ann margaret start out as a wholesome teen actress and then transform herself into a jail-bait-publicity-whoring-booze-hound? of course, this is made all the more ironic in that lidnsey is sporting the blond look. as evidenced by julia roberts we should expect some level of generic-ness or pandering to masses in this list, but even this seems like a real stretch.

3) elizabeth smart is on the list. you remember her, the kid in utah who got kidnapped by crazy bible people for 9 months (just kidding, i think it was 40 weeks) and then got rescued when she finally decided to just up and leave. now on the one hand, she has turned out very pretty (i can't call her hot until she turns 18). but on the other hand, good lord, WTF? there was always something a little fishy about that whole story to me. i don't know if anyone remembers but i distincly remembering the photos of her and her family being reunited as being a little too nice, as if they were staged by a professional photographer. since then, she's gone on to play the harp at the pro-bowl in hawaii and no doubt, she's looking to somehow capitalize on her infamy. now i am not saying that the kidnapping was staged for the purposes of getting her name and face out in the public so that she could cash in on the fame later on in life...but i am kinda saying that. anyways, i think that if you look over the facts again, some things just don't seem to add up. she gets kidnapped and now she's suddenly in people magazine as a beautiful person. (warning: i stole this next joke from my good friends at KTCK 1310 in dallas, but it was too awful not to repeat). one of these days, the real story of what really happened with elizabeth smart is going to come out and stir up some real scandalous controversy. it's going to be a real news bomb. in fact, it's going to be...wait for it...wait for it...a smart bomb.

4) any most beautiful people list without brooke burke on it is a completely bogus list.


new pop life v2.0 mp3 available for download

the may 7th, 2005 broadcast of pop life v2.0 is available for download at the pop life v2.0 blog and at the pop life radio show archives.

the ragin' asian reviews the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy

lost in my two week blogging hiatus was my viewing of the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy. based on british author douglas adam's extremely goofy (and by goofy i mean dopey) book of the same name, the movie delivers pretty much the same dopey experience. i really don't have much else to say about the movie. i mean, i guess it was mildly entertaining, but i'm not sure i would've seen it were it not for the fact that there was basically nothing else out that weekend that i wanted to see. there were some intersting performances. i definitely thought that it was a weird turn for rapper mos def. i guess he played his part well, but they seemed to de-emphasize his role in the movie. john malkovich is also on screen for about two minutes in an extremely bizarre cameo. zooey deschanel, my soulmate and future wife, was solid and her eyes are as gigantic as ever. the best performance was probably alan rickman, the voice of marvin, the terminally depressed robot. i wish i could demonstrate how funny it was to hear him deadpan everything in a slightly dour voice, but take my word for it, it's kinda funny. anyways, like i said, not bad, but not great unless you're a die-hard fan of the book. you might wait for this one to come out on cable. final grade: C

stevie nash, the mvp, and the race card

hello blog reader. i'll greet you with the usual apology after i take a long hiatus from blogging. and also, as usual, i'll offer a litany of somewhat lame excuses. i actually cuaght some flu bug, and i was out of commission for a few days of the beginning of the week. i've also been busy trying to keep my head above water in school, which i barely am, and i've been busy in other ways as well. anyways, water under the bridge, back to blogging.

steve nash, formerly of my beloved dallas mavericks, now of the phoenix suns won the NBA's MVP award this week in the fourth closest vote in league history. he beat by a slim margin, my favorite player, shaq-fu. as you can imagine with any close vote, there was lots of controversey as to why steve nash won. but dan le batard of the miami herald wrote an interesting piece (login required, use bugmenot.com for a login and password) that suggested race might be one of the reasons why nash won. the piece merely suggests that race was one of the factors, but as you can imagine the reaction by his peers and other basketball vip's was that batard had singled out race as the deciding factor in the MVP voting. for a really good recap of what everyone is saying, read jason whitlock's espn page 2 column on the matter. he basically says everything that i want to say, so i won't necessarily rehash them again, but just a couple of things to add. the reaction to batard's piece is further evidence that the discourse of sports is one of racial assimilation or of colorblindness. in other words, the people in charge of creating the discourse about race have deemed it verboten to talk about race because doing so would be considered racist.

however, in reality, not talking about race, in an arena where the effect of and the effects on race are so obvious is what's really racist. the identity politics that these so called colorblind advocates accuse anyone who even mentions race, is actually something that they're guilty of. you see, there can't be any middle ground for these people in the discussion of race. any attempt to bring it up will cause you to be labeled as a racist, and inevitably you will suffer some sanctions. we've seen this alot with television, with rush limbaugh, al campanis and the like. i don't think that le batard will be sanctioned necessarily anymore than he already has. after all, he is a sports columnist, it's his job to write about these kinds of things. but he has bore some harsh criticism from the likes of people like charles barkley.

now keep in mind, although i think shaq should have won, i can totally accept steve nash as the mvp. in fact, i've gone on record several times as proclaiming my love for the wild haired canadian. he had a fantastic season, and you can make the argument either way as to who should have won. what i disagree with is how race gets kicked to the curb in this conversation simply by dismissing those who attempt to start a dialogue as wackos. the word that the round mound of sound used to describe le batard's column is "assinine". which is exactly what it is when someone can't even sugest that race somehow has an effect how people in this country feel, think, and act, without being labeled as a troublemaker...in otherwords, that's assininely racist, sucka!


new pop life v2.0 mp3 available for download

the april 30th broadcast of pop life v2.0 is now available for download from the pop life v2.0 blog and the pop life radio show archives page.

link roundup

1) in case you missed rosie o'donnell playing a developmentally disabled person this past sunday, these a-holes (or should i say genius a-holes) live blogged it for you. (from defamer)

2) the no shit sherlock award goes to whichever AP flunkee wrote this story. (from pop licks)

3) also from poplicks, the fake pope benedict has set up a mildly amusing blog.

4) speaking of fake celebrity blogs, all of you star wars nerds should enjoy darth vader's blog.

5) more web procrastination - the webby awards just announced their winners. lots of good sites to kill time with here. (from boingboing)

now get back to work!

sports quick hits

1) another title IX lawsuit. this time a girl who didn't make the varsity volleyball team is suing because there isn't a junior varsity team like all of the boys teams do. the lawsuit also brings up the point that the boys football team takes chartered busses while all of the girl teams takes district owned vans. while i suspect that this is partly due to team size, the general argument that there is a much greater emphasis on boys sports than girls sports is undeniably true. title IX helped, but we're still a long way from any kind of gender equity in school based sports.

2) memphis grizzlies point guard jason williams is acting a little immature for his age. the story says that after being elimanated from the playoffs, williams took the pen from geoff calkins, who he felt had misquoted him or quoted him out of context in the memphis paper or some shit like that. the exact quote from calkin's newspaper column(use bugmenot.com for login):
"I'm happy," he told a CA reporter at practice Saturday. "I go home and see my kids and my wife and I'm OK. All this (bleep) is secondary to me."


There you go, Grizzlies fans, all of you who have fretted and stewed and invested your hearts in this team.

Jason's happy.

Basketball is secondary
amazingly enough, i'm on william's side on this one. our touchy feel-good culture tells us all the time that winning isn't everything, but yet we expect athletes to be willing to eat babies in order to win. it sounds like to me jason williams has some perspective. i'm not saying that williams was right to go after calkin's pen (although it's not that bad of a gag), calkin's column implies that jason williams is your typical spoiled athlete who doesn't care about fans. good lord, he's played pretty well all year, what do you want him to do? should he not be ok with his failure on the basketball court after seeing his family? should winning be more important to him than being a good husband and father? i just think that it's so dumb that we expect athletes to always hustle or try their best in life, when 1) none of us ever do, and 2) there are just so many situations in sports where it's obvious what the outcome of the game/series will be before it ends, i.e. being down 3-0 to tim duncan and the san antonio spurs in a best of seven series. did anyone really think that it was possible for the grizzlies to come back somehow and win a game? should jason williams let the fact that probably the best player on the planet and a really good supporting cast beat him and his overachieving bunch? anyways, what's really interesting about this is that williams is white. and these kind of accusations are usually reserved for black athletes. although it should be noted that williams lifestyle, diction, style of play, and dress is closer to african american than white. i'm not saying that's the reason, but we need to at least take it into consideration.

3) oklahoma's baseball coach, larry cochell resigned after using the n-word. what's amazing about this is that this guy has been in college athletics for over 15 years. it's not like all of sudden he thought that it was ok to just start using the n-word. chances are he uses it in his everyday life and in his thoughts about black people all the time. the point here is that it seems to me that we hear about this stuff all the time, yet the discourse of color blindness always complains that these are isolated incidents. believe me, the only reason cochell got caught was that he was dumb enough to use the word in public. again, common sense tells us that many more coaches use the word but just not in public. and hey guess what? that's racist, sucka!