i knew dave eggers was good for something

hey kids, i'm back from my windy city wedding party excursion. this month's edition featured yet another high school chum and had me in a starring role as the best man.

anyways, like all good gen x-ers, i've read dave eggers a heartbreaking work of staggering genius. however, unlike all good gen x-ers, i really wasn't that impressed with it. like gen x-ers themselves, i found the book to be well written, occasioinally funny, even hilarious at times, but despite its desperation to say something something important, it doesn't and just comes off like a whiny little bitch. the movie equivalent would be the horrendous joe pesci/brendan fraser vehicle, with honors. it tried so hard to be that special movie, but failed in every way. in other words, AHWOSG ends up being a few hundred pages of someone saying, "look how clever i am". or in ragin' asian parlance, the whining and the mastabutory style of the book add up to a few hundred pages of someone saying, "what about me?".

anyways, as many of you know dave eggers went on to publish, mcsweeny's, which was supposed to be a journal where unknown authors could publish something, but was ultimately read by nobody except that pretentious douchebag that spends way too much time at the coffee shop by himself reading poetry or some gay crap like that. in other words, it was exactly like AHWOSG, except less critically lauded.

anyways, i stumbled across mcsweeny's website and i found mcsweeny's lists. think of it as the edgier, nerdier, yet more literarily savvy version of dave letterman's top 10 lists. plenty of lists to kill alot of time with. and it looks like it's updated on a regular basis. and in my never-ending quest to bring you sources of web procrastination, i've added it to the list of weekly links on the right sidebar there. plenty of lists here for your next penalty kill. here are two of my favorite lists.
Song Titles, Before Editing for Language Efficiency and Clarity.

"My Wings Feel a Stirring of Air Beneath Them. Is That Air You? Methinks Yes"

"I Have Looked for Quite Some Time, but, Alas, the Object of My Search Has Eluded Me"

"Caroline, You Are Delectable"

"Baby, You Hit Me Once, and When You Did, All I Could Think Was That I Would Relish Your Doing It Once More"

"It Is Morning and You Are Glorious, but I Am Still Unclear About What the Story Is"

"I Have a Primate Made of Copper and Zinc"

"Up There, Where the Clouds Are, Is Lucy, With Her Precious Carbon-Based Gemstones That Required Extreme Pressure and Temperatures of More Than 2,192 Degrees Fahrenheit to Become What They Are"

"It Is Impossible for You, or Anyone Else for That Matter, to Purchase Love For or From Me"

"Hey. What's Up? It's London"
and of course, i had to include this list
From the Prog Rock Ice Cream Shoppe: Flavors Inspired by a Certain Canadian Power Trio.

Vanilla Strangiato

A Rocky Road to Bangkok

Chocolate Chip Xanadough

By-Tor and the Sno-gurt

Cookie 'n' Red Barchetta

Cygnus X1 Book: Fudge

New World Mango

Limelight Sorbet

Distant Early Praline

Tom Soy


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