sports quick hits

1) my hometown pro baseball team gets accused of cheating! how dare mark buerhle besmirch the integrity of the texas baseball rangers by insinuating that the rangers have some elaborate light system to alert batters of the upcoming pitch. if i were him, i'd be more worried about the steroids that they're taking. the best line was issued by rangers DH phil nevin when he asked manager buck showalter why the lights weren't working when he went 0-4 that night. sure stealing signs is cheating, but is it any different stuff like the hide the ball trick? baseball's unwritten rules are some of the biggest load of b.s. ever. i say, if the rangers are smart enough to devise such an ingenious system, then more power to them. my other suggestion to mark buerhle is to mix up his signs like the rest of the major league pitchers do.

2) romania punishes two of the gymnasts on their women's national team by DISBANDING THE WHOLE EFFING TEAM. call me crazy, but it seems like a little bit of an overreaction. first, the violation was that two of the gymnasts attended someone's birthday party. they're freakin' kids...good lord, why don't you punish them for watching cartoons. second, i think that they could have doled a more proportional response than just canceling the team. it's a good thing that the romanians can't discipline american athletes for partying. between kobe, derek jeter, and ricky williams, there's wouldn't be any sports for us to watch.

3) spare men's tennis player writes really sexist things in a sports illustrated blog, number one women's player shrugs. justin gimmelstob wrote the following things on his blog
One of the benefits of having the women around is the ever-increasing desire for each and every young sassy player trying to outdo or, in this case, under-dress the next.

My prediction: Pretty soon the WTA practice courts and maybe even the match courts will resemble a women's volleyball court, with g-strings and bikinis being the only logical next step. Not that I'm complaining, or even think that wouldn't be a valuable marketing tool. But I'd like to recommend to players both female and male, and even coaches out on the practice courts ... if you resemble a beached whale, keep your gear on.
the really crazy thing about this is that he asked lindsay davenport to edit it, and she basically didn't really try to change anything or point out to gimmelstob that his comments are slightly inappropriate. the really great thing is that gimelstob is not ranked in the top 100 ATP rankings, yet SI gives him a podium for his dumb views.

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