bobby the gook, week 3

the good news is that my hard drive did not fail and my 40-something gigs of music and porn is intact. the bad news is that i may have a bad motherboard or processor, which is much more expensive than replacing my hard drive. i suppose i could be optimistic and say to myself, "hey at least i get to buy a new computer," but given my financial situation and the fact that i pretty much sucked it this week in my football pool, that's probably not going to happen. no worries though, i've got a few more tricks up my sleeve before i go through the tortuous process of motherboard/CPU replacement. the real irony of all of this is that i had literally just finished fixing HK's computer. it was given to her by someone else and there was just a ton of bad stuff on it: windows ME, tons of spyware, long startup and shutdown times, it was a complete mess. and i was actually pretty happy with myself that i was able to bring it back to life. i guess it just goes to show you that elton john was right, it's just one big circle of life. as one computer breathed its first new breath, another one breathed its last.

in another related story, this week when i went to pick up my football pool envelope at the bar, i walked up and told the barkeep that i was here to get my sheet, and he looked at me and said, "i don't know what you're talking about." he then proceeded to shake his head ever so perceptibly and then mouthed the words, "cops". so i said real awkardly, "oh...i'm sorry, i must have the wrong place," and high tailed it out of there before the g-men popped out of the crowd to take me away to gambler's prison. on the one hand, it was way shady, but on the other hand, it was kind of exciting to be involved in something so illicit. anyways, the point of that, was it was a way more entertaining story, than just telling you that both fredo and i have done terribly so far with our picks. i know it's only week two, but if you remember from last year, at this time, fredo and i had done quite well for ourselves. we talked about it briefly and fredo came up with the idea that last year, we were the guys who would not buy into any hype. he used the example of the vikings, last year, there is no way we would have bought into the idea that the vikings would be ok without moss. in fact, in the games where moss didn't play, we almost always bet against the vikings and won. yet somehow, this year, we were fooled by the hype. the vikings look horrible. especially on defense. their running game was pretty bad last year, but now without moss forget about it. i'm not saying that they won't win 8 games, but i am ready to admit that this team is not nearly as good as i thought it would be. we knew what teams were good and and we stuck with them and we only got on a few bandwagons about the up and comers. so, at least for me, this week marks a return to form. don't think about hype, don't think to hard about 0-2 vs. 1-1 teams. the good teams have the good players. oh yeah, i screwed up the scoring because i forgot that we were getting minus points for getting games wrong, but it's just too damn hard to figure out the points with minus points for missed game. we'll alter the game so that losses don't equal minus points, except you still lose 2 points for missing the 50 dollar game. i also screwed up the tally for week 1 as i got 7 games minus the 50 point game and minus 1 for the missed parlay, that equals 4 points. fredo got 10 games in week 1 including his 50 dollar bet for 11 points, minus one for the missed parlay, which is 10 points. this week, i got 5 games, minus 2 for missing the 50 dollar bet, plus 1 for bonus bet #1, and minus 1 for bonus bet #2 for a total of 3 points this week. fredo got 6 games, minus 2 for missing the 50 dollar bet, minus 1 for bonus bet #1 and minus 1 for bonus bet #2 for 2 points. crazy scoring system, but that's how it works, so the current standings are bob: 7, fredo 12. this post is already too long, so let's get on with the picks. i'm moving back to using the lines from caesar's just cuz i was thinking that betonsports had screwy lines.

STL (-6.5) over ten
really what have the rams done so far? where is that magic offense that martz is supposed to be a genius for. last week, they barely score 17...but the key is, stephen jackson looked ok after a pretty mediocre week 1. the titans had a pretty nice winlast week against baltimore, but i really like the rams at home here.

PHI (-8.5) over oak
after a rough week one, looks like the mcnabb-owens connection is back on track. don't get me wrong, t.o.'s sorriness will cost the eagles at some point, just not here. i think that oakland's offense is turning into the randy moss show, and if it turns out that none of the other wideouts can deliever, that means that the raiders are in serious trouble.

CHI (+3) over cin
ok, the bengals look really good, but even with the crappy offense, i love the bears defense. like i said earlier, now that they have everyone on that d healthy, i see nothing but good times up ahead for the bears. i think that the bears can bottle up rudi johnson and come away with the win at home.

NYJ (-2.5) over jax
it seems apparent that i just hate the jets and anything that they do i just consider an aberration of what they really are, which is a decent defense and an offense that has a hurt qb and a really old rb. however, i hate the jagoffs too and who knows if leftwich is ok after last week. with the jets at home, i'll just stick with vegas n this one.

MIN (-3.5) over no
ok, this is bad because fred and i actually took the saints in our money pool, but today i feel bad about that pick. the vikes defense is horrible. but fredo pointed out that it's awfully hard to to start the year off with three road games. dammit, i really wish i could change our money pool pick here. since i'm quasi cheating since i've already conferred with fredo, i'll make this the 50 dollar bet.

car (-3) over MIA
i am really starting to like the way the panthers are starting to shape up. their defense actually reminds me a little bit of those 90's cowboys defense in that the whole unit is nothing but playmakers. i would have made this the 50 dollar bet, but oh well.

IND (-14) over cle
that was a nice little win for the browns but it was against the sad sack packers. i imagine that peyton and company aren't real happy about how close the last game was. so at home on the turf, i think the colts will roll.

atl (+2.5) over BUF
i'm going to roll with the one week vick looks good, one week he doesn't theory. all reports say he is going to play, but no telling how mobile he is, which of course is the key to the falcons offense. um....let's give the hot black man the benefit of the doubt and say he'll play reasonably well. plus i really hate buffalo's offense.

tb (-3.5) over GB
did i mention that the packers suck? i'm not completely sold on the bucs but i do think that they may be better than i originally thought.

SEA (-6) over ari
like i said last week, completely off the cards bandwagon. hasselbeck is actually looking pretty good finally. the cards need to find a running game pure and simple.

PIT (-3) over ne
what we've been saying all along is to ride the patriots bandwagon until it stops. it stopped last week. there were also some red flags during the week 1 game against the raiders. brady is still real good, but that defense isn't as good as it used to be. for pittsburgh, willie parker looks like the real deal. this game really sybolizes the return to the old philosophy. there are a lot of things that point to a patriots victory, particularly the fact that pittsburgh is looking to break new england's consecutive regular winning streak record. but that's all phony-baloney rah rah shit that i refuse to buy into. new england isn't as good as it was last year, and the better team is playing at home.

dal (-6.5) over SFO
another return to old philosophy game. yeah, the cowboys really struggled with their offense, but i think that the niners are terrible.

SD (-5) over nyg
this is another pick that fred and i went the other way in the money pool. the giants defense is always good because of strahan. and i'm losing faith in drew brees and the san diego offensive line. brees didn't look good under pressure last week and the giants will be putting on lots of heat. but i've got a hunch about this one. i'll take the home favorite here.

kc (-3) over DEN
i know that the broncos are tough at home, but the chiefs are good. i may make them my afc super bowl favorite soon if they can post a good win on the road here.

bye: bal, det, hou, and was. it's too bad that detroit is on the bye so i can't pick against them. harrington should consider suicide.

bonus props: i'm already late with this post, so i'm going to let fredo come up with something.


Erik said...

Actually, this week the line on Detroit is -3.

I'm predicting Bye 42 - DETROIT 6.

Good thing this one doesn't really count since its so early in the season, so we're still looking at the best team in the history of sports.

Oh, and Bob, you're a fucking idiot.

alfredo said...

ten(+6.5) over STL - i don't need to explain myself to you.

PHI(-8.5) over oak - seriously, if i want to pick the fucking eagles, i will pick the fucking eagles. they are going to start rolling and i want to be on board when they do.

CHI(+3) over cin - and if i want to put money on this shit, i'll do that, too.

MIN(-3.5) over no - oh, blow it out your ass.

car(-3) over MIA - you are not the boss of me.

IND(-14) over cle - i'll take the colts, then.

BUF(-2.5) over atl - what are you going to do about it?

tb(-3) over GB - oh, that's real goddamn mature.

SEA(-6) over ari - that would be like me taking the fucking cardinals and their sissy-ass quarterback.

ne(+3) over PIT - or taking roethlisberger against his new england kryptonite.

dal(-6.5) over SF - so what if i act like the cowboys are more important than you? sometimes they fucking are.

nyg(+5) over SD - fine, leave then.

kc(-3) over DEN - bitch.

BONUS - hey bob, why do we deduct anything for bonus questions? it doesn't work like that in the classroom does it? anyway, this week's bonus will be a three team parlay and the over-under on cadillac williams' rushing yards against green bay. i'll put that number at 110 yards and take the over. my parlay is TEN, IND, and KC.

alfredo said...

hey bob, i don't want to wait (for our lives to be over) until monday night to know if i hit my parlay. so make it TEN, IND, PHI instead. that way i know by noon or so. this is very important.

Mrs. Brady said...

Oh silly Bob, a mere kink in the tracks does not derail our train.