bobby the gook, week 4

geez, this is hella late already. as i alluded to in my last post, the demise of my computer and the start of school has occupied much of my time this week. throw in the fact that i'm headed to vegas this weekend, and i've got almost zero time for blogging. anyways, let's just get on with it. fredo and i both suck so far this year. last week, i got 4 games right and scored on my fifty dollar bet for 5 points. fredo only got 4 right, but didn't make a fifty dollar bet. he also didn't make a pick on the jax/nyj game for some reason. his bonus points were a wash as he got the over/under on cadillac williams right and the parlay wrong. and yes, there has to be minus points because this is gambling, and there's no such thing as a free bet. so anyways, our current standings are me: 12, fredo: 16. lines from caesar's palace, home team in caps.

sd (+5.5) over NE
look, i know that the pats are at home, and i know they just came off an impressive win over the steelers, but here's my deal. they barely won that game. losing rodney harrison is going to make a huge difference as well. i know, people always say that new england knows how to fill those kinds of things with nobodies. that's just crap however. harrison is one of the more feared defensive players in the league. lt looked absolutely fabulous last week. i'm guessing that a balanced attack beats the pats this week.

JAX (-4) over den
fuck it. i'll go ahead and get on this bandwagon.

CIN (-10) over hou
the points are tempting, especially after the bye week for the texans, but this is another wagon that we should consider getting on until it stops. give me fifty bucks on this one.

TEN (+7) over ind
the titans have been a covering machine, and i like them to do the same over the colts. plus it looks like the colts are sporting a new big defense, low offense type of attack. i say it goes on for one more week and we get another low scoring colts victory.

KC (-1.5) over phi
this one smells like a trap. and i'll go ahead and get on the right side of this trap.

TB (-7) over det
my poor roommate. at the beginning of this year, there would have been a bunch of people who would have said that the lions would roll here...not anymore. i'm going to go ahead and bet the hell out of this one when i get to vegas.

stl (+3.5) over NYG
as much as i hate martz, i hate coughlin even more. i think the 2-0 start for the g-men starts to fall apart right here.

NO (-1) over buf
i'll take brooks, horn, and duece over losman, moulds, and willie. plus let's give the new orleans saints a little edge now that they play home games in the great state of texas.

sea (+2) over WAS
trap? i don't know, this one seems to easy. i don't know how anyone can think the skins are any good with their qb situation.

BAL (-7) over nyj
looks like the jets are fixin' to sign joe namath to fill in for all the injured qbs over there.

min (+6) over ATL
again, good vick one week, back vick the next.

OAK (-3.5) over dal
i hate making this pick, cause i have a really good feeling about it. but because i can't bet against the boys, i will simply be rooting for the cowboys here. here's the deal, the raiders have actually played pretty well over their 0-3 start. i just can't see them going 0-4. add in the fact that they're at home, and i think that the oakland offense goes nuts on an inconsistent dallas defense here.

sf (+2) over ARI
this is a real shitty deal for the cards. not only to they have to play a home game in mexico, but they have to do it where american football fans are either cowboys or niners fans. i can't see why arizona is favored here, so it might be a trap.

gb (+7.5) over CAR
you bet against favre on monday night.

bonus props! this week, we're going to delve into the world of over/under. pick three games from this list. each one will be worth 1 point (and yes, minus one if you miss) and there's a two point bomus for getting all three, for a possible 5 points. the cowboys/raiders game looks to be fairly high scoring. Caesar's has the number at 47.5. i'll take the over here. we'll test the new look colts theory, the number in the colts/titans game is 45, and i'll take the under, and the lowest number is for the ravens/jets game at 31, and i think that billick will figure something out to get the ravens offense going this week, i'll take the over.


alfredo said...

sd(+5.5) over NE - i like san diego for two reasons. one is that new england is coming off a mexican cockfight of a game with pittsburgh. The second reason is that i think ladanian tomlinson is entering that stretch which we will look back on years from now and say, "that fucker was at his absolute goddamn prime for those ten or so games. he was never better. sweet god, how i loved him. why couldn't it last? why, oh why? if i could only have been who he wanted...but alas, that train has sailed." yes, that's exactly what we'll be saying.

JAX(-4) over den - i never get the broncos right. I may just pick against them the rest of the year and see how that goes.

CIN(-10) over hou - houston, we have a problem. (that is hilarious if you have ever seen the movie apollo 13 starring carl weathers or read the book by tom hanks.) but, houston, do WE have a problem? not as long as i'm betting against you, we don't. i think cincinnati is one of the top five teams in the league and houston is the worst. give me 50, mr. ngo.

ind(-7) over TEN - at some point peyton has to stop sulking over ABC cancelling moonlighting. get over it, peyton! watch the cosby show or family ties! come home to nbc, you dickhead sonofabitch!

KC(-2) over phi - fucking traps.

TB(-7) over det - tampa bay is the best team in the nfc right now. their defense looks tougher than hell again while detroit can't move the ball to save its life. i would've guessed that this would be a 9 point spread. i think tampa bay is being downgraded for an unspectacular win last week in green bay where they always have trouble. i say that they stake their claim as the bully of the division with a thorough rogering of the lions, who have had an extra week to prepare and to consider the shithole of a city that they represent. (totally don't have your back anymore, eric)

NYG(-3.5) over stl - i have no clue, really.

NO(-1) over buf - after looking sharp for a series in week 1, jp lohsman remembered that he sucks and should be shot, dismembered and eaten by those fuckface bills fans who have nothing better to do than talk about what a great goddamn tailgate bullfuck they put on. fuck.

sea(+2) over WAS- trap, i guess, but washington hasn't really shown that they can move the ball. they can play some defense, but overall, the numbers favor seattle. i guess this is a hell of a road trip to make for the early timeslot, but i don't get it. at any rate, i will not be betting on this game this weekend.

nyj(+7) over BAL - there is a lot of doubt surrounding this game, and when in doubt, take the points.

min(+5.5) over ATL - minnesota will get a lucky break with 5 minutes to go in the first quarter and never look back. daunte culpepper will throw for 246 yards, 3 TDs, 1 int, have a rating of 91% and chip his tooth in the locker room. how could i possibly know all of this? i will send a secret message from the future during the broadcast of this game. let's hope they show it in southern california.

OAK(-3.5) over dal - i hope i'm wrong. it just seems like randy moss always kills dallas. i also don't like the cowboys with back to back road trips to the gay part of america. too much temptation for one mr. bledsoe, i say.

SF(+3) over ari- this one is in mexico, so the winner becomes ruler of tequila and pinatas. arriba!

CAR(-7.5) over gb - didn't the packers get hammered last year by tennessee on monday night? carolina looks like they'll go back and forth all year, so this week, i'll bet that they're good again and delhomme passes for 4 or 5 tds. john madden will call this game "the passing of the american hillbilly quarterback torch" game. look for favre to come out for the third quarter wasted on quaaludes or meth or whatever drug it was that this overrated smack fiend used to eat.

BONUS dal-oak-47.5-OVER; ind-ten-45-OVER; bal-nyj-31-UNDER. fuck-bob-OVER.

Erik said...

Both of you are fucking idiots.

How many times can I say it:

Who? K Jones. Who? K Jones. Who? K Jones.

I don't give a shit about TB's defense --- the Lions had last week to tell Dominic Raiola how to pass block. When Cory Schlesinger surprises all by playing and blocking for K Jones, we'll be running circles around the Bucs. And, seriously, Harrington will come alive this time. He always bounces back.

Good luck in Vegas, kids, and remember that the only guy to win a football bet so far this year is yours truly, and I bet on the Lions. Get on this bandwagon while you still can, fools.