bobby the gook, week 13

this thing is OVER. not only did i stink up the joint with only getting 6 games, fredo got nine plus a super bonus for hitting his parlay. there is really nothing left for me to play for, other than entertaining myself with my football idiocy. what can i say, i'm just gonna have to chalk this up to bad mojo this year. oh well, like antoine walker in a shooting slump, the only way for me to get better is to keep firing away. anyways, like i said, i got six games last week (+6), hit the fifty dollar bet (+1), missed my three team parlay (-3) and hit my two team teaser (+2). that equals 6 freakin' points. fredo got 9 games (+9), hit the fiddy (+1), hit his three team parlay (+6), and gets a two points for winning the week (+2) for a total of 18 points. the updated standings are fredo: 121, me: 84. let's get on with this lunacy. home team in caps and point spreads from caesar's.

MIA (-4) over buf
this division sucks doesn't it? gus frerotte vs. jp losman? i can't think of a worse way to spend your sunday afternoon than watching these two loser teams get after it. screw this crap, i hate the NFL.

cin (+3.5) over PIT
we'll use the super faulty transitive properties here. indy destroyed the steelers last week, while cinci hung in there with the colts until the end when they played them earlier this year. ergo, give me the bengals. on a side note, have you ever rooted more for a single player to score every week than chad johnson. that's just good clean family entertainment.

hou (+8) over BAL
i actually think the ravens will cover, i'm just trying to make up some ground here.

IND (-16) over ten
again, no reason to get off this train until it stops.

jax (-3) over CLE
i've always thought leftwich was a little overrated anyways. that's just not enough points for a bad cleveland team.

dal (+3) over NYG
two things about that giants game. first, have you ever seen anything as funny as jeremy shockey doing his little winner dance in the camera only to realize that jeff feely missed the kick. that was effing awesome. second, tony siragusa is the worst sideline reporter ever. to hear scream "it's short! it's short!" after one of feely's misses made me want to stick something up my ass. about the game - dallas is winning this division, end of story.

CHI (-7) over gb
tough loss for the packers last week. i read somewhere that farvre has won something like the last 13 meetings against the bears. can't last 14. about the bears...comparisons to the 85 bears are legitimate in that the bears defense is really good, but at the same time, the 85 bears inspired fear in other teams. i just don't think this squad has quite that same effect.

min (-3) over DET
the lions have become the ugly stepchild of the NFL. their franchise quite frankly has become an embarrassment to the league and in all seriousness hurts the NFL, which in turn hurts america. the only solution is clear...declare war on michigan, and send in the black ops people to take care of matt millen.

CAR (-3) over atl
i like the panthers to take control of the division this week. atlanta looked good last week, but remember, they were playing the single most embarrassing franchise in all of sports history last week.

tam (-3.5) over NO
the saints are done winning this year. and i'm still not sold on the bucs, there's just no way i think the saints can cover two weeks in a row.

SFO(+3) over ari
yet another reason why the nfl should reduce the number of teams in the league. uhh...i'll just take the home dogs here.

was (-3) over STL
you just knew that everyone was going to go crazy over the harvard qb...including yours truly who has him starting this week on his fantasy team. let's see if this bandwagon has any wheels shall we? dammit, i just talked myself out of it. the skins are going to eat this ivy leaguer for breakfast.

NE (-10.5) over nyj
as much as i hate the pats this year, the jets are omong the league's worst. besides you can't expect brady to lay two eggs in a row.

KC (pk) over den
some other lines have this as kc (+1.5) so in this case, i'll take the home team and the points. denver just didn't look that good to me last week. although i should take denver, but again, gotta make up some ground somewhere.

oak (+11.5) over SD
i dunno, this line just seems way to big for me. oakland is starting to play really bad as kerry collins continues to be the weak link on my fantasy squad, but i just have a feeling on this one.

sea (-4) over PHI
4 points? is that all? i don't know if you'd call this a trap, but it just might be. either way, i'll take fifty bucks on this one.

bonus props! like i said, lots of gorund to make up, so it's crazy parlay time. same rules as last week.

give me a 5 team: SEA, MIN, CHI, IND, CIN
give me a 3 team: JAX, TAM, SEA

eff, i'm going to lose a lot of points if the hawks don't cover.

1 comment:

alfredo said...

hey bob. i heart reggie bush. anyway, here we go:

MIA - just betting against lohsman on the road.

cin - they have too much offense for pittsburgh, especially with roethlisberger being banged up.

hou - too many points for the sorry ravens to cover.

ten - they give indy a little scare as mcnair goes crazy.

jax - this line would be bigger if leftwich weren't out, but i think that whoever the hell is quarterbacking can't mess up a game against the browns. though i wouldn't bet on it. (actually, i never get jax right, kind of like denver.)

dallas - bob, those were some curious comments about the sideline reporter. if the cowboys lose this game, i will probably be one of those mean, drunk husbands in his underwear all day long. for my wife's sake, bledsoe, no interceptions.

green bay - the reason that the comparison to the 85 bears is ridiculous is that the 85 bears actually played a few decent teams. they also had the super bowl shuffle. the 2005 bears have no musical ability. (i just changed my pick to green bay based on this.)

min - seriously, detroit. you are at home and you are an underdog to brad johnson and the sex cruisers. i think you should change the logo on your helmet to "wha happened?"

atl - i've got a feeling, i can't fight this feeling anymore, and i feel like making love (to michael vick.) (special thanks to the beatles, reo speedwagon, and bad company for writing that sentence for me.)

NO - time's up , chris simms. the answer is: you suck.

ari - kurt warner shows off to the gay part of america how much jesus loves him.

was - remember when dexter manley couldn't read and he was still able to decapitate danny white? the redskins need a guy like that. that would show this harvard egghead what's up.

NE - i am tempted to take those points, but the nfl rules say that you have to have a quarterback, and i think this week everyone realizes that the jets are in violation of that rule. patiots 100, jets 0. fifty bucks here.

KC - the rules say that i have to pick against denver, but i think denver stops larry johnson and pulls this out on the road.

SD - inspired by reggie bush, LT rushes for 200 yards and 3 TD's.

sea - this line doesn't make much sense, which worries me.

3 team parlay: cin, ten, ne