fun with capitalism

this guy is my new hero. pointing out the contradictions of a consumer driven society, while at the same time making some people feel good about their place in the machine. it's a tough trick to pull. a sample:

Dear Ritz,

First of all, let me say how much I enjoy the one-of-a-kind buttery taste of Ritz brand crackers. Whether by themselves or with any of a variety of great-tasting toppings, Ritz brand crackers are an enjoyable and satisfying snack.

Here's my question. If I'm adding, say, peanut butter to a Ritz brand cracker, I spread it on the salty side of the cracker. My wife, however, puts it on the non-salty side. Which one of us is right? (And don't say there's no wrong way -- that's a cop out.)

best,
Tom