white people love football guys with crew cuts

after a start that surprised everyone, notre dame gave charlie weiss a 10 YEAR EXTENSTION!!!!! ten freakin years after just five lousy wins. and they're gonna give him 3 million a year! what the hell is going on!

let me get this straight. ty willingham brings notre dame back from the dead his first year, gets no extension and then gets fired 2 years later. charlie weiss wins five games (and loses two games he probably should have won), and they give him 10 freakin years and a zillion dollars.

it'll be interesting to see if good ol' boy charlie weiss will get the same kind of treatment that willingham did if he falters after just two years. i'm not saying that notre dame is racist, but why didn't ty willingham get that kind of extension halfway through his first freakin season?

for a while i was back on the notre dame bandwagon for a while. black head coach, moved away from the midwest around the really obnoxious notre dame fans....yeah, i'm off of this wagon now. i don't care how good charlie weiss is, the lack of integrity in their football program is more evident than ever. lou holtz would've never put up with this crap.

weekend quick hits

1) jean van de velde is a big douchebag. for those of you who don't remember, he's the pro golfer who went in to the last hole of the 1999 british open with a four shot lead, went all tin cup on the hole, triple bogeyed and lost. anyways, he says he's going to try and qualify for a major women's event next year, the british open. he says he wants to expose how ridiculous it is to let a woman play on the men's tour. a couple of things that need to be said. first, the whole logic behind this kind of crap is just so stupid. no it's not the same thing as when a woman competes on the men's tour. and no it's not different because men are superior athletes. women are not welcomed in the brotherhood of sport, so it is a big deal when we see at least some attempt at equity within a sport...i.e. annika or michelle wie playing on the men's tour. when the opposite happens, it's just the same kind of oppression and ignorance being repeated. his argument is like the argument that affirmative action takes away jobs from whites. just stupid. the second thing that needs to be said is that i think it's pretty easy to see why van de velde is doing this. aside from his big choke in 99, he's generally had a pretty successful career. however, he's never been able to live down '99. i think that he must really hate this legacy. not that i blame him either. it must be hard to live with the title of one of the professional sporting worlds biggest chokers of all time. so it follows that what he is doing now, making a big hoo-ha about women's golf is simply an attempt to distance himself from this legacy. which makes this all the more sorrier, since he probably really doesn't care whether or not women play on the tour. however, there is good news. no matter what happens, his arrogance and idiocy cost him a major in 1999. he is basically the only professional golfer who goes into that situation and then loses. which no matter what happens with the women's golf thing, makes him one of the parigdigmatic losers of all time.

2) dodgers gm, paul la podesta got fired this weekend. for those of you who are only casually interested in baseball, this isn't that big a deal. for those of you who are very interested in baseball and my dissertation topic, the use of sabermetrics in baseball, then this is extremely interesting. i'm working on a much more longer and involved post right now, so keep your eyes out for it, but it definitely warrants mentioning in the weekend round up section.

3) news from the world of hip hop...did anyone see this coming? the only thing left now is to get suge and dre back together.

4) for some reason, my roommate thinks my blog readers need to my commentary on the fact that the actor that played mr. sulu, george takei has come out of the closet. first of all, actors coming out of the closet is about as newsworthy as israelis and palestinians blowing each other up. we all know that it's happening, but the truth is, most of us don't really care. second, anyone who knows their pop culture knows that a subculture of star trek fans exists that write slash fiction dedicated to exploring the homoerotic nuances of star trek. even though the focus mostly on spock and kirk, there are a few forays into the other characters such as sulu. i could go on about how this is a convergence of the real world with this subculture, let me reiterate, i don't care. i guess he's asian and that should be of interest of me, but this is someone who has been in show business for a long time, and according to the story, has been out to his family in friends for a long time. so i guess it's great, but it won't be as blog worthy as when kordell stewart comes out of the closet (actually, my money is on terell owens).

you tell me...who looks gayer?

5) it looks like the saints are headed out of new orleans. bill simmons of espn.com likens this to the guy who divorces his wife while she is in a coma for a blonde bimbo, which i think is a pretty good analogy. of course everyone, particularly those from louisiana are all pissed off and calling for the cleveland plan (when the browns left, the league got art modell to give up the rights to the browns name and promised cleveland the first expansion franchise). now i feel bad for the state and all, but it's not like the dallas cowboys are up and leaving or anything. i'm sure that saints' fans will be upset, but honestly, are there thay many of them? especially with the way they've been playing lately? if i'm the owner of the saints, who was thinking about moving the franchise anyways, why would i commit to stay in a town that is at least a decade from full economic recovery? it's his right to leave i say. it just seems weird to me that an enterprise that is as capitalistic as pro sports is held to such socialistic expectations. which of course, is the whole point of my dissertation, but more on that later.

6) lindsay lohan to star in indie film written and directed by emilio estevez. there are a lot of things that are strange about that last sentence, i don't even know where to start. let's just hope that it's one of those indie films with lots of nudity.


bobby the gook, week 8

sorry, about the last post on the nfl, had to catch a flight to sanantone for a wedding. good time was had by all, but it's time to get back to business. overall, fredo keeps kicking my ass, and i'm almost to the point where i'm going to have to go mad scientist to catch up. a quick note on the bonus game. i can close bonuses if i want, cuz i'm the house. fredo didn't hit his parlay, but he did get 2 out of three. what i'll do is i'll go ahead and award him one point for getting 2 out of 3 right (+2 for the 2 he got right, -1 for the one he missed). i would've normally given an extra point for getting 2 out of three, but like i said, i'm the house here and i didn't have access to a computer that weekend. i think that this is a fair compromise. anyways, i've recently figured out that one of the things that i haven't been doing is going through the injury lists as thoroughly as i should be, so i'm going to do that this week and hope it helps out. anyways, this is how the last two weeks shook down.

Week 6

Games Correct79
50 $ bet+1+1
Week 6 Total1216

Week 7*

Games Correct77
Week 7 Total78
* there was no $50 bet for either bob or fred, and bob did not get a bonus bet in.

so anyways, our current standings: me - 51, fredo - 59. on with the betting. home team in caps, point spreads from caesar's.

NYG (-2.5) over was
yeah, the giants won on a miracle last week, but the offense should be fine with burress back catching passes. although i really hate this game because it doesn't look like brunell is showing any signs of slowing down this season. this could go either way, so i'll just go with the home team. on a related note, after eli won the game on a last second td last week, his brother peyton sent him 4 complimentary passes to his newly revamped all-male revue bar, interceptions.

CIN (-9) over gb
well, it was nice while it lasted. green bay goes from suck to suckier with ahman green and robert ferguson going down this week. favre is ready to blow his brains out. it seems to me that he's still depressed about how he should have retired last season. look for this funk to go on for one more game before he decides to eff it all and turns into the interception throwing gunslinger of old and the pack starts upsetting people. but like i said, that starts next week.

DET (-3) over chi
no i don't think things are going to change much with the dawn of the jeff garcia era, but i certainly don't like kyle orton on the road.

CAR (-8) over min
terrible teams always let down after miraculous wins. that's what makes them terrible.

oak (-2) over TEN
for some reason, caesar's has this one off the board right now. from what i can tell from the injury report, mcnair is a go, and moss will play, but in a limited role. still, i like the raiders here only because i think they're gonna be better than they have been and i think they make start their playoff push with a bunch of wild ass shootouts, starting here. p.s. they still won't make the playoffs.

DAL (-9) over ari
this one is giving me fits. is it just me or is this spread to big especially with julius still out? (yes) and is bledsoe about to turn into the qb that he was for the past two years? (i'm getting the shakes just thinking about it) dare i take a stupid qb like josh mccown on the road? (probably shouldn't) do i trust the dallas secondary to cover a physical reciever like anquan boldin? (well, they seemed to be able to keep t.o. and plaxico in check). man, eff this game, and eff the cardinals, and even though the cowboys always seem to have trouble with this team, give me the cowboys.

HOU (-2) over cle
this really ought to be a pickem, but we'll go on the decidedly unscientific logic that this is houston's best chance to win a game. although i'm hoping that this is at least a shootout as i;ve got dilfer and antonio bryant filling in for some of my fantasy bye week players.

NO (-2.5) over mia
another game that i just don't give a crap about. since my usual football genius has been shaky this year, i'll go with stupid crap like the saints get an emotional lift from playing their first game in louisiana (baton rouge) this week. also, i hear that the dolphins defense is banged up to hell.

jax (-3) over STL
is there really any reason bet with jamie martin under center? well, the rams are at home, but torry holt and isaac bruce look like no-gos this week. stephen jackson ought to have a great game, but i think the jagoffs' defense will be enough. the line on this one is off as well at caesar's so i went with espn's number here as well.

kc (+6) over SD
i'll take t. green over d. brees thank you very much. by the way, take the over here as well (50).

tam (-11.5) over SFO
i keep screwing up some of the abbreviations for the teams. tampa bay's official abbreviation is tam, not tb. anyways, alex smith is going to go down the likes of akili smith and ryan leaf. this guy sucks. everyone is saying how smart he is, and how that will get him through. good luck with all that. cadillac williams is going to run for 280 yds in this game, and the bucs defense will score at least once. gimme fiddy.

DEN (-3.5) over phi
only because they're at home. stay away.

NE (-9) over buf
game one of the northeast sunday night/monday night stinker double header. belichick off the bye...fuggedaboutit.

PIT (-10) over bal
big ben and hines coming back, check. ray lewis and ed reed out for this game, check. pittsburgh looking to show the world just how much metroplex school boy hero tommy maddox from l.d. bell high school, who in his senior year led the area in passing in football AND scoring in basketball, check. looks like i have all the favorites reasserting themselves this week.

bonus props - for me one of the big stories of the year is just how much daunte culpepper has sucked it. let's set the over/under for the number of INT's he throws against a above average secondary in carolina + the number of times he fumbles. i'll set daunte's turnover line at 2, and i'll take the over. but wait, there's more. let's set up a trifecta of props. so daunte is part 1. part two is the number of TD's scored in the pathetic texans/browns games. inept offense vs. inept defense. the line is 37, so i'll interpret that as four TD's total, but i think that this is going to end up being a shootout. i'll take the over. the final leg will be an old prop. cadillac williams vs. a crappy defense in the niners. we'll set the line at 120 yds, and i'll take the over here as well.

so to recap. leg 1 daunte's turnovers, over/under at 2, give me the over. leg 2, number of TDs scored between the texans/browns, over under at 4, i'll take the over. leg 3, rushing yards by cadillac williams, over/under at 120, give me the over. one point for each leg correct, minus one for each incorrect, and a super bonus this week of 3 points for 3 out of 3 and a one point bonus for 2 out of 3.

no parlays this week. i'm the goddammed house here, so my rules are the rules.



two items of note

1) reigning WNBA MVP, sheryl swoopes comes out of the closet. good for her of course, but i'm wary of calling this a watershed moment in sports that at least one commentator is calling it. don't get me wrong, i'm always glad when someone feels that the bad sanctions of being gay don't outweigh the benefits of coming out. however, in terms of sports and its relationship to sexuality, it does not change much. aside from my biases about the WNBA not being a major sport, i feel that we shouldn't be as surprised as when a female athlete comes out as when a male athlete does. sure being gay runs counter to the general ethos of masculinity in sports, but women in athletics has always been tied to lesbianism. the logic goes, a female is participating in a male dominated domain, therefore she must be innately more like a man, which includes being attracted to women. of course, this is all socially constructed bullshit, but the fact is, there is almost a societal expectation that women athletes are closer to lesbians than other women. look at any of the other major women's sports and there are always rumors or some stars who are openly gay. the williams' sisters, women's golfers, you name it, there is always some kind of talk. there's also the sheer physical spectacle of sports and how in a real sense it is about objectifying human bodies, male or female, black or white. sports is intimately bound up with sexuality and in a weird perverted way, it makes sense that lesbianism as a vehicle for male erotic enjoyment would be bound up with sports.

now i'm not saying that it is easy for a woman athlete to be openly gay. what i am saying is that if you have to rank it, this is not a big a deal in our collective minds than say, if lebron james were to come out of the closet. i hope that this would be a stepping stone for more athletes to defy what michael messner calls the hegemonic masculinity of sports, but the true watershed moment will come when a major male football, baseball, or basketball star comes out of the closet.

2) the air force's head football coaches thinks that in order to get a faster team, the air force academy ought to recruit more african-americans. according to the espn.com story:
Air Force coach Fisher DeBerry, expressing frustration Tuesday with the Falcons' slumping performance, attributed the latest loss in part to No. 20 TCU's having more black players who "can run very, very well."
deberry further exacerbates the situation with this quote
It just seems to be that way, that Afro-American kids can run very, very well. That doesn't mean that Caucasian kids and other descents can't run, but it's very obvious to me they run extremely well...
aside from the obviously racist undertones of the idea that black equals faster, he is also implying that this bias actually hurts white athletes more than it does black athletes! apparently, this is not a new way of thinking about this issue.

something else that i thought was also interesting was that when i saw this story on sportscenter this morning, they mentioned that fewer than 10% of air force academy cadets are black. i don't know what the numbers are off hand for the other academies, but i would venture to say that the air force academy has the smallest percentage, which in terms of racial heirarchy makes some sense. not to sound to conspiratorial, but with all of the casualties that we are hearing about in iraq being disporportionately people of color, i would also imagine that they are disprortionately not people in the air force. my logic is that the air force carries the least risk of death, especially in light of the type of war against the insurgents that the US is fighting in the middle east. so despite his ineloquence and probably misguided thinking, coach deberry is actually right. there probably are too few african americans that are recruited into the air force academy. appropriately enough, an recruitment ad for the air force ran right after the story featuring, yep, you guessed it, an african american. what's really goofy is that the commercial starts out with a bunch of dudes snowboarding in the forest and the african-american uses his GPS skills to lead the way home, which is then shown to be related to his skills learned from being a bomber pilot. not that it matters the marketing stuff that the air force is employing here, but when's the last time you went skiing and saw a bunch of african americans on the lift. i've never been skiing, so i wouldn't know, but it seems to be a bit out of sync to use diversity in this way on this commercial.


so who do i write to for my check?

according to technorati:

My blog is worth $2,822.70.
How much is your blog worth?

compare this to the $9M that boing boing is worth. not a whole lot but enough to keep me blogging for another few weeks.


bobby the gook, week 7

ok kids, i'm off to san antonio. we'll settle up later, but here are this week's picks. home team in caps, lines from caesar's palace.

kc (-1) over MIA
STL (-3) over no
gb (-3) over MIN
HOU (+15.5) over ind
CIN (+1) over pit
PHI (-3.5) over sd
CLE (-3) over det
sfo (+13) over WAS
SEA (-3) over dal
OAK (-3) over buf
CHI (-1) over bal
ten (+3) over ARI
NYG (+2) over den
ATL (-7.5) over nyj

ok gottago, don't know if i'll be able to do anything extra this week, so bonus props are closed.


sports quick hits

1) more from the minnesota sex-boat scandal. the vikes owner let the players have it in what espn.com is calling a profanity filled "intense talk". in other words, he bitched them out. i know that he's the new owner, but at this level, it seems dumb to me that someone thinks that they can turn a bunch of athletes into saints by yelling at them. if he was really concerned about character, he'd find out who was involved and then he'd cut them, which to his credit, he has threatened to do. but as you might guess, i'll believe when i see it. besides, have you seen the vikings defense this year. if you take away fred smoot, the vikings might lose every game left this year. anyways, again, i think we should take note of the language. particularly, the "intense talk" part. it makes it seem like that he's actually doing something positive for the team. while if it were someone else, say a teammate yelling at his teammates for the things that they've done off the field, that person would probably be considered a pariah. and of course, you might guess, i don't think it's an accident that wilf is being portrayed positively here because he is seen as putting a bunch of black men in their place. just something to chew on....

2) in one of the biggest non-events of the year. michael jordan is going to appear on 60 minutes. the story says that he cops to gambling, but not really. in the story, jordan is quoted:
Yeah, I've gotten myself into [gambling] situations where I would not walk away and I've pushed the envelope. It's very embarrassing ... one of the things you totally regret. So you look at yourself in the mirror and say, 'I was stupid.'
before i continue, i just want to note the complete misuse of the phrase "push the envelope". i think that if it sounds like a cliche, then athletes feel compelled to work it in their speech. but i digress, the story also says that he never jeapordized his career or his family. it's kinda hard to interpret what he's saying from that quote, so i hope to see it on sunday, but i was thinking it could go two ways. first, he could be issuing a half apology for his public gambling hijinks. in other words, he's apologizing, but not really. he's trying to make himself look like any other dude who likes to go to vegas. every once in a blue moon, when you don't win at anything in vegas, you think to yourself, "crap why didn't i walk away?" so in other words, he's actually not coming clean with the gambling. he's just trying to make himself look like you and me who go to vegas every now and again, lose some money that we didn't need, and is not a crazy gambler. and if you believe all the stories about making $100,000 bets on the golf course, he most certainly is. the second theory is that he's telling everyone to back off of his gambling habits because it's his money and he can do what he wants with it. the part about never jeapordizing his family, is silly if you think about it. jordan could go to vegas, blow ten million dollars and he would still have more money that all of us normal people put together. what do we care that he spends his money on gambling? i mean jerry seinfeld blows all of his money on antique porsche's and nobody seems to care. the thing is, i don't think anyone cares about the gambling rumors either. hey, the guy won 6 championships and then retired after he won his last (i don't care what anyone says, his stint with the wizards didn't count). so there's no danger of him fixing games. let the man gamble if he wants to.

3) cnn.si is doing this semi-goofy-but-cool-at-the-same-time thing. they have a bunch of "photo articles" posted. so normally, they'll do something like, the 25 greatest homers in world series history, and then you click through a photo album and each picture has a little description of the homer. the lists are a little goofy sometimes, but it's a good idea since sports photography can be so compelling sometimes. well, since about three weeks ago, they started doing these photo articles showing NFL and college cheerleaders. if you go to the cnn.com website, the link under the sports section that has been there all week (as opposed to current headlines) is "A must-see NFL cheerleaders gallery". now don't get me wrong, i appreciate cheesecake as much as anybody does. and i really don't have a problem with cnn.si putting these pictures up that are targeted at their core audience. sure it's slightly misogynist, but there's plenty worse on the web. what i do have a problem with is that if you flip through the cheerleader photo albums, cnn doesn't identify the name of the cheerleader. instead, they just list the team name next to the ladies photo. i know that it's a small thing, but that small thing really reinforces the idea of objectification here. as far as i know, professional photographers are supposed to get the name of any people that they take a picture of for the very purposes of captioning. i mean in the swimsuit issue they list the name of the model don't they? how is this different? like i said, not really that big a thing, but it seems pretty crass for a professional organization like CNN or SI.

4) i'm a bit conflicted about the world series since i was born in texas, but went to school in chicago. ahh...eff the astros, go sox!

5) don't click here. i warned you.


clothes make the athlete?

2 interesting stories involving athletes and the clothes that they wear.

1) the NBA is adopting a dress code for its players for when the are participating in any league activities. this means pre-game, post game, public appearances, etc. apparently a.i. won't be able to wear gold chains or shirts without sleeves and collars at his post game press conference. it seems like the official word from the NBA is "business casual", but you don't need me to point out that what they're really trying to say is, "we don't want our NBA players to look like black people." which is odd, since the hip-hop lifestyle is such an integral part of NBA culture. it would make sense to most people that this would actually not appeal to the NBA's core audience. so it begs the question, who is the NBA trying to appease with this policy?

let me start by throwing out a fantastic conspiracy theory. the NBA is actually trying to appease the athletic apparel makers. my guess is that in the next few months, you are going to see all of the major athletic apparel brands, nike, reebok, adidas, etc...roll out their new line of formal wear. in fact, i'm amazed that no one has done this yet. imagine, a nice pinstripe, three-piece suit, with the adidas stripes on your lapel. how would that not sell. or better yet, nike could roll out their formal wear line and instead of a normal stripe on the side of the tuxedo pants, you replace it with one big swoosh. how am i not a marketing executive? but seriously, i just wanted to be clear that the new NBA dress code is directly related to race here.

2) some kid refuses to wear adidas, and his university won't let him play ball. in fact, this guy is the team's leading scorer. arkansas state university is required by contract to have its players wear adidas, but the the kid says that he hurt his ankle using bad adidas shoes. he says he'll sue, and i hope to god he does. i've always thought that it was just real stinking rotten that coaches got to sign million dollar contracts with apparel companies when the coaches are basically never seen wearing the clothes (again, the mike formal wear line conspiracy makes even more sense on the college level). again, just another way that colleges exploit their athletes. imagine if i told my students that they had to do their assignments on a hewlett packard computer because i had signed a contract with them. do you think that would hold up in court?

anyways, the school is claiming that they're in the right because there is no proof that adidas shoes are any worse than other kinds of shoes. and there's the rub for the shoe companies. if this case gets more press, not only will it be publicly declared that adidas' shoes are no worse than nike's or reebok', but it is also going to be publicly declared that their shoes are no better than anyone else's as well. fight the power kid!


weekend roundup

it was just one of those weekends, when nothing happened but advancing through levels of tony hawk underground 2. but a whole lot worth blogging happened, so i'm going to make this an extra long one.

let's start with two stories about women in sports

1) michelle wie got disqualified in her first tournament as a pro. now i don't care about her getting dq'ed. rules is rules. however, when i watched the press conference afterwards it did seem rather surreal that this girl was having to answer tough questions about competing on a pro level. on the one hand, i suppose that she should have expected it when turning pro. however, it was quite uncomfortable for me to watch this 16 year old girl atone for her mistake so publicly. i mean she's 16! perhaps i'm being a little sexist, as i can't tell you how i felt when fredy adu first got asked this kind of question, but from what i can tell, wie is very much a 16 year old girl, who's not that articulate, and i'm afraid that money is going to ruin her, if it already hasn't. did i mention that she's only 16?

i don't care how good at golf my daughter is, i'm never gonna let her wear shoes like that.

2) atta-girl danica. i can't even begin to get into the ridiculousness of this story. just read it yourself, and know that if it were a male instead of danica patrick, you'd never hear such inane quotes from race car drivers. oh wait a second, yes you would because professional race car drivers are idiots.

now's here's the rest of the best of the weekend.

3) a-rod's mom says that he was distracted by the death of his uncle. this may be well and true but it doesn't change the fact that a-rod never has been good in a pressure situation before. there are a ton of studies done to disprove the idea of a clutch hitter, all of which i believe. however, i haven't seen any any studies done on the idea of anti-clutch.

4) tedi bruschi has been cleared by doctors to return to the field following a stroke 6 months ago. a couple of things about this. first, it kills me that everyone is calling him the spiritual leader of the patriots. lack of spiritual leadership isn't the patriots problem. it's corey dillon being injured and duane starks not being able to cover anyone. second, i think that it might be illuminating to compare the rhetoric surrounding his possible return to someone else's. last night, on espn chris berman kept saying, "no matter what the decision, i think everyone hopes that it's the right decision." today, in peter king's monday morning quarterback column (scroll down, item 1d) he says:
I hope Tedy Bruschi's making the right decision. I have a feeling he is. I know it's fashionable in my business to rip what Bruschi is about to do -- come back to play football eight months after having a minor stroke, but I can't put myself in his shoes, and I can't blindly rip a doctor who says Bruschi's not at risk by playing football.
here's the deal, no one is ripping brusci. instead the feeling i get is that most people are hailing him as the savior for the pats. the one that can inspire all these fuzzy feelings in his fellow teammates which will turn around new england's disappointing start. if he does return, words like "courage", "toughness", and "desire" are going to be tossed around like monkey's flinging their own poop. if god forbid anything happens to bruschi after he makes his return, you'll hear the ultimate empty sports platitude, "sacrifice" being used. in other words, the press can't wait for tedi bruschi to return since it'll make a great story about an selfless athlete who embodies the ideals of sports. all this about a guy who has been cleared by medical professionals to play. they make it sound like lazarus rising from the dead or something.

now let's compare this to the reaction last year, when terrell owens, against the advice of his doctors, came back and while risking a career ending injury, gave the eagles the only shot they had at winning a super bowl. if you recall, everyone called him selfish, a prima donna, and someone who was a distraction to his teammates. don't get me wrong, i know that t.o. is an ass and i'm actually a big bruschi fan (fellow U of A wildcat), but if you really think about it, these two situations aren't that different. in both situations, you have pretty good players coming back to their team despite substantial health risks for themselves. the difference of course is their reception by media, et. al. oh yeah....one guy is a white choir boy with the waspiest haricut of all time, and the other guy is a black guy who speaks his mind. i'll let you connect the dots.

hi everyone, my name is tedi. just because i have a big hole in my heart, it doesn't mean i still don't love robin williams and billy joel. seriously...my hair kicks ass.

5) the new owner of the minnesota vikings, zygi wilf is promising to clean up the football program over there. in fact, he's already hired a security director at the behest of NFL commisioner/fascist dictator paul tagliabue. well...good luck with all that. pro athletes are pro athletes. sure the minnesota viking funboat may have been a little crazy, but to think that NFL players are going to all of a sudden stop having illicit sex with the numerously available athlete groupies is stupid. maybe if all players were more like tedi bruschi....ah never mind.

6) what the vikings really ought to do is hire this guy. according to the story, the principal of a catholic high school cancelled prom when he found out that students use prom as an excuse to get drunk and lose their virginity. at first glance, i thought that this guy was just being a party pooper, but it turns out that if you read the article, this guy may not be out of line after all. these kids sound like a bunch of little a-holes who need a good kick to the crotch if you ask me. and now that i think about it, while my prom was ok, if i could go back in time, i'd rather have the money that i spent on it back.

7) back to paul tagliabue...did anyone know that his son is openly gay? me neither until i read it this past week on deadspin. in fact, he's so gay that paul tagliabue has won an award from PFLAG for being such a swell father to his gay son. well, maybe that doesn't have anything with his son's degree of gayness, but i digress. it's just real interesting to think that someone that the GLBT (is that what they're calling it these days? did i miss anyone?) community considers such an ally would be in charge of an institution that reinforces traditional masculinity discourse (which of course, includes homophobia), but at the same time, be one of the most homo-erotic spectacles in the history of ever (i heart mike vick!). while i guess that whatever the tagliabues did to deserve the award is nice, but it seems to me that the NFL is one of the more tight lipped organizations when it comes to this issue. and of course, as we all know, silence means acceptance of the status quo. all i'm saying is that PFLAG ought to think about that before they hand out awards to any famous straight people with gay relatives.

8) i caught most of the USC-Notre Dame game this weekend, and it was easily one of the best college football games i've seen in years. you thought matt leinart was getting lots of tail before? i can't even imagine the number of groupies that are going to lined up outside of his door, now that he's a bonified sports hero.

holy cow pete! either your penis is a lot bigger than i though or my a-hole is a lot smaller.

9) this is really a bad idea.

10) this is a great idea.


bobby the gook, week 6

things just don't seem to be getting any better. i've yet to have a week where i pick at least half of the games correctly, which makes me happy that i'm not actually putting any real money on games on a regular basis anymore. i'd be broke by now. but on a positive note, i did get 6 games right, which is the best i've done this season, and fredo and i actually finished in the money in our local football pool. it looks like things are starting to turn around here at football braintrust, inc. so maybe i will be making another trip to vegas this fall. anyways, like i said, last week, i got 6 games right, plus a one point bonus for the fifty dollar game. i got 1 extra point for the bonus games, for a grand total of 8 points. fredo got 8 games right, but minus 1 for missing his fifty dollar bet. he missed all three of the USC props, but got the over/under for the SEA/STL game for only minus 2 points, so......i actually win this week 8-5. for the season, fredo still leads 25-22. let's get on with it...home team in caps, numbers from caesar's palace sportsbook.

nyg (+3.5) over DAL
this is a classic letdown game for the cowboys. if there's something i've noticed about the cowboys over the past few years, is that they almost always follow up really good wins like the one they had last week against the eagles with really bad wins. i really hope i'm wrong on this one, but all signs point to a cowboys loss. however, if there is a win, then, i'm going to have to really think that the cowboys have a deep playoff run in them.

DET (pk) over car
the panthers are one of the teams that really effed us last week in the pool. we would've won a lot more money had they not scored at the end of the game. anyways, i was on the carolina bandwagon earlier this year, but to me, they just seem real inconsistent. as for the lions, if they lose here after taking control of the division, i'm going to have to shoot my roommate.

atl (-5.5) over NO
there are two ways you can go with this game. first, last week's loss to the packers was rock bottom for a struggling team, and the guys will find a way to muster a win. second, last week was only the tip of the iceberg for one of the worst seasons in NFL history. with duece out, give scenario #2 vick or no vick.

min (+3) over CHI
i really don't think that the bears are that much better than the vikes. and you could always speculate that this week's extracurricular activities are a distraction to the team, but i just saw a press conference with daunte culpepper and it looks like he's pretty mad. i like the vikes with a chip on their shoulder. and the bears, well...they may have sorted out the backfield situation, but their qb is still kyle orton.

was (+6) over KC
i really don't know what the chiefs have done off the bye in years past, but from what i can tell, the skins have gotten better each week. kc on the other hand is still struggling in the passing game. i'll take defense over offense here and i'll take the points as well.

cin (-3) over TEN
the titans have been a covering machine this year, even though they still don't look like that good a team. and cinnci...well, they haven't covered in a couple of weeks and i still think they're pretty good. my reasoning here is that both of these teams get closer to where they should be against the line this year.

PIT (-3.5) over jax
there's no reason to bet against the steelers these days.

cle (+6) over BAL
i was originally going to go with the ravens under the premise that last week's loss to the lions was rock bottom for them, but they haven't done crap this year and six points seems like just too many. the browns on the other hand have been better than expected.

TB (-4.5) over mia
i'm as excited as anyone to get ricky williams back into a football uniform, but let's not jump the gun here. part of me wishes that there would be some miracle comeback where ricky rushes for 150 yards and 2 tds, but i just don't see that happening against a good run defense. plus if there's one thing we learned last week, it's not to trust stupid qbs like brian griese on the road.

DEN (-3) over ne
last week, everyone was raving about how the patriots rallied to make up for their thrashing by san diego last week and "just found a way to win" against the falcons. excuse me, that was a falcons team minus mike vick. they were lucky that they won, not good. denver all the way baby. i'd put 50 on this one were it not for a much more obvious game involving one closeted douchebag quarterback and his horsied-mascotted team.

BUF (-3) over nyj
sure it was nice to see and old fart like vinnie pull one out of his ass last week, but again, let's not get carried away this week. the jets are done this year without a real qb back there. there's no way that vinnie can put it together for more than a few weeks. meanwhile the bills just got better at QB by going with holcomb over losman. HK's mom told me that i should stay away from betting on bills' games and were i in vegas i would heed her advice and i'd actually stay away from this one.

sd (-2.5) over OAK
the chargers are the best 2-3 team in football and i think they take their frustrations out on the raiders's d. i envision a wild west shootout here, so i'd take the over (50) too.

hou (+9.5) over SEA
this seems like just the kind of game that mike holmgrem seems to eff up on an annual basis. that's just too many points for holmgren. and of course at about this time, the texans have to win a game at some point.

IND (-13.5) over stl
it looks like i was wrong about the colts offensive philosophy. i know that martz is out and that actually works to the rams advantage, but indy's defense is going to kill, and i mean just kill marc bulger this week. i'd sit him if he were on my fantasy squad. also, i'm going to start playing the fredo game and say that this game is so easy, that even with hot black specimens stephen jackson and torry holt coming into town to distract peyton, that the colts cover easily. give me fifty on the colts here.

bonus props: as mentioned before, this week marks the return of r. williams to the league. i think that the nfl ought to do one of those goofy promos with the real r. williams and ricky williams in the psychologists office, with r. williams telling ricky over and over again, "it's not your fault." i think that'd be hilarious. anyways, let's set the over/under on the number of rushing yards that he gets. i'll set the line at 60 and i'm going to go ahead and take the over here. i think nick saban has a secret man crush on ricky and is going to try his hardest to show everyone that he's more than just and x's and o's coach and that he can coax talent out of problem children.

fred smoot knows how to party

1) a few minnesota vikings were allegedly caught on some kind of freaky-deaky prostitute fun boat in lake minnetonka. according to the story, a chartered boat had to come back into port because the crew was upset about lewd behavior going on the boat, that included strippers, drunkeness and oral sex, both given and received by minnesota players. everyone's getting their panties in a bunch about the idea that off the field their athletic heroes aren't saints. here's my take:
  • as someone who used to drive a limo, it's ridiculous that the crew would get upset over the partying. that's why people rent these boats, so that they can party. i'm not approving of the behavior of the vikings (although i kinda do), but all i know, is that narcing out your rides is not a good way to get a tip.
  • it seems that every single player that has been linked to the fun cruise are issuing denials of all sorts. a marina worker is swearing up and down that cornerback fred smoot paid for all of this, and smoot is denying this up and down, threatening legal action, safety darren sharper denies even being there and running back mewalde moore denied that any hanky-panky was going on. sounds like a bunch of guys who don't have their cover story straight if you ask me.
  • i really don't see what the big deal was. all anyone had to do was to make like prince and purify themselves in the waters of lake minnetonka.
2) further proof that louisiana actually really hates the saints.


WNFL here we come....

some high school girl threw for 3 TDs in a varsity game. she's also the starting qb for the JV team. it gets better, she's just a sophomore. anyways, if she ever starts on the varsity squad in her two remaining years at high school, who knows how crazy the world is going to get. football seems to be the one sport where males have pretty much kept women out completely, even to the point where women won't even form their own league. but it just takes one charismatic figure to change that. we saw it with mia hamm and soccer. incidentally, that's the WNBA's real problem (other than a boring game played under the rim), is that they don't have their michael jordan or magic johnson yet. in other words, they need to find someone who can play above the rim for it to work out.

anyways, i digress, back to the girl high school qb. here are the quotes. from sophomore friend and offensive lineman, rob huizar
When she started playing football, I told her that I'm the center, so I'll get the offensive line to protect her as long as she gets the throw to the receivers.
so while it may be great that a female has broken through, it seems that there is still trepidation on the male's part. on the surface it sounds like the guy is willing to let her play, but only if she can help them win. does he tell his starting qb that he'll only block if he plays well? that would never fly. anyways, the more telling quote is from her coach
It's like they have a sister on the field and they want to protect her at all costs. When she's on the field, there's more effort from everybody. The line blocks harder, the receivers are running better routes. Her teammates rise up when she's in there.
as with most things in sports, everything has to be couched in terms of what michael messner calls, hegemonic masculinity. you see, her being a girl, she has to be protected more, which is what causes the players to play better. well if everyone tries harder when she's on the field, then why don't you just start her coach? why can't it just be, she's a good athlete? i'm not saying that the team thinks that she's a token. three TDs no matter what kind of league you're playing in is impressive. but i am saying is that whenever stuff like this happens, the men involved always manage to find some way to patronize the female.


mike price: still a douchebag

you know, when other bloggers take a hiatus and start writing again, they're usually greeted with all sorts of comments like "good to have you back", or "glad you're computer is ok, keep bloggin'" or some generic crap like that. my faithful blog readers greet my return with complete difference. well screw you, i don't write for soviet union, i don't write for you, i write for drago!

1) mike price settled out of court with sports illustrated over the story about him and strippers that got him fired from alabama. according to the story, he originally sued for 20 million and as how these cases usually go, i would guess that he probably got less than half that. anyways, he's quoted in the story:
I can't tell you how much I appreciated my wife, Joyce, and my family's loyalty and love. Without their strength, encouragement and support I don't know if I would have made it.
his lawyer follows up with more douchey statements:
We have won every legal battle at every corner. We think we have vindicated his name. Two and a half years ago we said we would, and we think we have.
excuse me, just cuz you don't bone a skank stripper doesn't mean you didn't take recruits out there and get plowed on the university's dollar. yet mike price continues to gripe about being unfairly dismissed. so it seems to me what mike price is saying is "i'm not the complete douchebag you thought i was, i'm only half." not that it matters, he's back in coaching as if nothing happened. sure he's not at alabama, but he's still at a major university with a pretty cushy gig. man college sports is so slimy.

2) after hurricane katrina hit, a bunch of sportswriters wrote about how important sports to the region and how important that the teams keep playing to keep up the morale of the displaced peoples of louisiana. well, with the horrible start by the saints, coupled with poor support from the rest of lousiana, it looks like nobody gives a flying crap about sports when they've lost every single material possesssion they have. the great thing about this is, that in all likelihood this will end up like everything else in america. the saints are going to say "f it" and move to california.

3) finally, an indie band that gets it (big file, dial uppers may take a while).

the ragin' asian gratefully acknowledges your patience

hello blog reader,

as some of you regulars may have noticed, my blogging output has been quite a bit down over the past few weeks. part of it was because i had to overhaul my computer. my motherboard died and that meant it was time for a processor upgrade, which meant shelling out lots of cash for components and what not. however, i am happy to report that i feel very confident in my computer building skills and if any of you blog readers need a new desktop, i think i can put one together for you pretty cheap. just email me and we'll work it out a price quote. but i digress, because of the new hardware, every time i sat down at a computer i've been tweaking the settings and installing stuff that i had on the old computer. i think i've finally gotten my computer to where i want it. which means that now when i sit down at the computer, instead of wasting time trying to overclock my video card, i'll waste it reading the web and blogging like i used to. i'm glad to be back and look for more than just the football picks, although, i must admit, they've been wildly entertaining in their futility. anyways, if you look over to the right, i've added some links that you might want to check out foryour procrastination needs. i'll also leave with some more fun links that i've stumbled upon now that i'm back in full web surveillance mode.

1) snake eats alligator in florida - finally, something good to come out of all those hurricanes.

2) worst mix tape ever contest - the great thing about this movie is just seeing a stand up comic that's brown. for you non dsl people, this may take a while, but it's worth it, i promise.

3) this may only be funny if you're from texas. but if you're from texas...it's pretty good.

4) the reason that americans don't know anything about canada is because there's nothing worth knowing about canada. still, a pretty good gag.

5) your sports link for the day. backbackbackbackbackback......


bobby the gook, week 5

things just keep getting worse. not only has it taken me forever for me to get my computer up and running again, but my ability to understand the nfl is diminishing. i suppose that there might be some kind of correlation between the two, you know, not having the tools to do the adequate kind of research that i normally do. last week was an unmitigated disaster in vegas. of the 11 bets that i made i hit exactly 2. usually when i go to vegas, i suck at the tables and it's football that bails me out. this time however, i sucked at football and i had to rely on a last minute miracle craps session to bail me out. gamblor is a fickle god, i must remember to be more mindful of praising him correctly. anyways, let's see last week, i got 5 games right, but minus one for missing the big bet, and minus one for getting only 1 of the three over/unders right. which gives me two godammed points. fredo on the other hand, got six games, minus 1 for missing the big bet, and fredo only got 1 out of the three over unders right as well for a total of 4 points. so for the season, fredo is starting to put some distance on me as he leads, 20-14. anyways, numbers courtesy of caesar's palace, home team in caps.

chi (+3) over CLE
i don't know anything about these teams. i know that the bears' offense sucks and that the browns still remind me of an expansion team. f, just give me the points.

GB (-3) over no
the packers covering last week was one of the few bright spots for my picks last week. and the saints played well against a horrible bills team. but those bright spots are going to be far and few between for the saints. green bay should be able to win this one at home.

tb (-3.5) over NYJ
i refuse to bet with vinnie testaverdee as the jets qb. the bucs may be in trouble if cadillac is not at full strength. the bucs were one of the teams that really effed me in the a last week, let's hope that they don't do it again.

sea (+3) over STL
both of these teams have been generally disappointing this year. the hawks have a better defense than the rams and apparently that rams offensive line is a disaster. bulger gets killed in this one.

ATL (-3) over ne
yeah, i effing nailed the chargers/pats last week. the chargers really simply just had their way with the pats. atlanta's running attack isn't LT, but it's still pretty good. i think we'll look back at last week's chargers/pats game as the beginning of the end for the pats.

mia (+3) over BUF
i can't figure this line out. the bills looked like crap last week and miami seems to be overachieving this year so far. trap? i'll just go with the better team here.

DET (-1.5) over bal
picking the lions always makes me nervous. this is simply a must win for the lions. after last week's tough loss (but they did cover dammit), do they rally round the flag or do they crawl into a shell and die. win and they'll be fighting for the division at the end of theyear, lose and millen gets fired before january. and baltimore, who the f knows what's going on over there with that offense. jamal lewis has been a real non factor this season, so i'll go with youth here.

ten(+3) over HOU
the only reason last week's game was so close was the 923 penalties called on the bengals last week. the texans are dreadful. fisher is a good enough coach to see the problems that the texans are having. look for the titans to roll here and give me fifty bucks on this game.

SFO (+14.5) over ind
just too many points here to pass up. indy rolled last week, but i really do think that dungy is going to a more conservative offense.

ARI (+3) over car
i hate this game. stay away from this one i say.

DAL (+3) over phi
i also hate the fucking philadelphia eagles. roy williams is going to light up t.o. again and hopefully end his season like he did last year. this is actually a tough call, because i still have no feel for what kind of team the cowboys are. you could make the argument that they're just a few fluke plays away from being 4-0. you could also say that they they've been lucky in their wins and ought to be 0-4.

DEN (-7) over was
speaking of teams that i fucking hate, the skins simply can't go 4-0. if it happens, i'm going to blow my brains out. it just can't happen. also, jake plummer still sucks...defense is what the broncos are doing right.

cin (+3) over JAX
this may seem like some sort of trap, but as i mentioned before, the only reason that the bengals didn't cover was the officiating last week. and with the performance that the jags put up last week, i'm starting to think that they're regressing to what i thought they'd be before the season, a 7-9 team.

pit (+3) over SD
i know, i know, the chargers looked awesome last week and if the patriots beat the steelers, then the chargers should beat the steelers. i've always hated that line of reasoning. here's the deal. the pittsburgh defense is well coached and they will have a plan to contain the mighty mighty lt. he'll still get his yards, but i think brees can't keep it going.

bonus props: my beloved arizona wildcats are facing the mighty trojans of USC this weekend. the line right now is USC (-38). who can resist that line. so i'll give three props here, 1 point apiece. #1 - will USC cover? #2 - reggie bush has been averaging 209 all purpose yards a game, i'll set the over/under for this statistic at 215 yds. lastly, for #3 - reggie bush and lendale white both have pretty crazy rushing stats. the last prop is who will have more rushing yards on saturday. i'll set the line at bush (-25). like last week, it's minus 1 for wrong bets and a 2 po0int bonus if you can get all three of them right. hell, i'll even give a 1 point bonus for getting two right. so for me, i'll say that 1) USC covers, 2) i'll take the under, and 3) give me lendale white at +25 yds.