bobby the gook season 3, week 17

well, here it is folks, the last week of the season and what better way to mourn/celebrate the death of james brown, gerald ford, and saddam hussein then picking football games! it just goes to show you, that the sports/entertainment complex has us so thoroughly distracted that we (meaning me) could really give a crap about the supreme irony of the execution of one of the world's most notorious dictators being used as a distraction for one of the worst military quagmires since vietnam. don't get me wrong, i appreciate the irony, i just don't give a crap cuz there are over 200 different NFL playoff scenarios still possible in this last week that i need to think about so that i can win imaginary money on my virtual soapbox. it's depressing isn't it. anyways, even more depressing is how both fredo and i fared last week. fredo went 6-10, while i didn't do much better at 7-9. erik as always sucked too, going 6-10. what isn't depressing is how much ass i kicked in the vegas round. i won $320, while fredo, despite going crazy with his bets still lost 60 bucks. here are the standings.

Bob vs. Fredo
season record
Winning Pct.
Vegas Round

Bob vs. Erik
season record
Winning Pct.

it's amazing how fredo is 32 games above five hundred, and equally amazing that erik is virtually guaranteed a losing season, just like a certain midwestern-leonine-mascotted-professional-football-team is every year. anyways, this week's board is pretty tough and given the fact that underdogs have ruled the year, expect lots of dogs from me and fredo. the main thing to look for however, is that i need to at least tread water to finish above .500, which is all i really am hoping for. let's finish this. home team in caps and numbers from caesars.

nyg (-2.5) over WAS (o/u - 42.5)
i hate myself for taking the giants. they are a disaster in every sense of the word. eli does suck, tiki's retirement was a distraction, and coughlin did lose control of his team. but the redskins are still the redskins. seriously, daniel snyder was trying so hard to be the ultimate evil genius combo of mark cuban and jerry jones that you know he's gotta be looking to sell the team at this point. the worse part of this is that if the giants win, they'll almost guarantee themselves a playoff berth.

BAL (-9.5) over buf (o/u - 35)
it's tough to take such big favorites, and despite the bills showing some signs of life late this season, i think that with home field still a possibility for the ravens, that they'll take care of business at home.

CIN (-6) over pit (o/u - 44.5)
this game troubles me. on the one hand, i think that the steeler's secondary isn't going to be able to handle chad johnson and carson palmer. on the other hand, bill cowher is the kind of coach that can probably actually convince his team to play for pride and all of that kind of mumbo jumbo. still i just think that the bengals are a better team, and are at least a touchdown better than the steelers.

DAL (-13) over det (o/u - 44)
i have a couple of theories working here. first, the cowboys are the kind of team to kick total ass the last week to give me false hope for the playoffs. they really blew it last week in the loss to the eagles. the really bad thing about it was i knew from the very beginning of last week that the cowboys would lose that game. just goes to show you that coaches are extremely overrated. but bad management trumps bad coaching, and the detroit lions are the single most mismanaged sports team in football. i see multiple defensive scores for the cowboys in this one.

HOU (-4) over cle (o/u - 38.5)
wouldn't it be awesome if somehow the loser of this game was forced to fold its franchise? this game makes me like football a little less.

IND (-9) over mia (o/u - 42)
i find it amusing that saban is rumored to be leaving for the alabama job after the season. this after two years of football scribes fellating him for putting together two sub-.500 teams. why is it that people love hard ass white coaches. it's like they yearn for the day when older white authority figures kept black people in line with disciplinary tactics such as firehoses or lynchmobs. the crazy thing is that for the same reasons, you would think that they would also love laid back black coaches like art shell or lovie smith, but they don't. shell sucks so that's no big deal, but lovie smith, how can you not think this guy is a genius.

kc (-2.5) over JAX (o/u - 36.5)
jack del rio = nick saban lite.

stl (-2.5) over MIN (o/u - 44)
let's take a minute to appreciate how badly the rams have fallen off since their super bowl win all those years ago. they had probably the best offense in the history of the NFL, and now i think that there are maybe two or three of those guys left in place. maybe if kurt warner doesn't hurt his thumb, then maybe it is the rams who might have played the role that the patriots ended up playing.

car (-3) over NO (o/u - 37)
still taking the panthers on the road, plus i'd be really surprised to see drew brees play more than two series.

oak (+12) over NYJ (o/u - 34)
part of me wants to say that the raiders lay the biggest stinkbomb to put an exclamation on one of the worst seasons ever for a once-storied franchise, but that's just too many points for a mediocre jets team.

atl (+8) over PHI (o/u - 43)
i would have taken the eagles earlier in the week when they were -6.

TB (-3) over sea (o/u - 36.5)
i guess that the seahawks are resting starters? who cares, there's no way in hell the seahawks get out of the wildcard game. parity is a cruel mistress.

TEN (-3) over ne (o/u - 43)
at this rate, the titans might never lose a game while vince young is playing. but seriously, what do the patriots have to play for?

DEN (-10.5) over sfo (o/u - 38)
the broncos got completely lucky last week, but that's the kind of thing that actually really helps the broncos i think. cutler has another win under his belt to boost his confidence, and home field of course helps. it also helps that the niners are still a wide reciever, a quarterback, and half a defense from being any good.

SD (-14) over ari (o/u - 44)
the only thing that worries me about this game is that it will be over by half time. but the chargers have been pretty awesome against the spread this year.

gb (-3) over CHI (o/u - 36)
what i hate about this game is how everyone is trying to play it up as brett favre's last game, when i'm willing to bet anything that he'll be back next year. certainly, he breaks marino's all-time td record next season. it almost doesn't make any sense for him retire. nobody remembers jordan half assing it with the wizards, and no one remembers willie mays sucking ass with the mets. people do however, remember how awesome their career numbers were.

money bets coming later, but expect both fredo and i to kick it up a notch here in the last week of the season. i'm planning on making at least 1000 bob bucks worth of bets and i'm pretty sure that we'll see fredo bet the farm and then some to try and catch up.


bobby the gook season 3, week 16

and down the homestretch we come. i tell you, in terms of the whole year, i'm more confused as i've ever been about who the good teams and the bad teams are. here is a list of teams that i think are legitimate contenders to win the super bowl. san diego and chicago, and really, chicago is just a rex grossman meltdown from being a one and done team. every other team may as well be the dillon panthers as far as i'm concerned. while it makes for an exciting end to the season, it sure does make for a bunch of uninspiring possibilities for the playoffs. i mean the eagles are still in this thing, even after losing their best two players from last year. how is this possible? and how is this a good thing? it all just goes to show you that there are probably too many teams in the league right now. i've beat this drum before, but with the realization that the houston texans passed up on reggie bush, i think it's safe to say that their presence along with the browns only hurts the league. can anyone name anything positive that comes with having the browns or the texans. contraction is the best idea for this league right now. anyways, time to step down from my soapbox to inform you that i totally kicked everyone's freakin' ass last week. i went a sterling 12-4 against a tough slate. fredo meanwhile has his first really really bad week of the season and clocked in at 6-10. erik, as usual brought up the rear and finished 4-11. not only did he stink up my blog for another week, he also forgot to pick the ten/jax game. seriously, do i have to keep track of his picks anymore. despite my good week, i'm probably too far behind to catch fredo in the overall standings. however, two things to note. i finally cracked .500 which does wonders for my ego. second and more importantly, i did really well in the vegas round last week winning 450 bucks including a $120 parlay while fredo lost $250. i think this is of interest because if i know my good friend fredo at all, my guess is that we will get to see a flurry of crazy bets and parlays. if there's ever a time where fredo's clutch gambling ability will be tested, it is now. lastly, i'm also close to being even in the vegas round which would also make me and my ego fairly happy after such a lousy start to the season. anyways, here are the current standings.

Bob vs. Fredo
season record
Winning Pct.
Vegas Round

Bob vs. Erik
season record
Winning Pct.

i'm in texas with the parentals right now, so i'm stuck in dial-up internet access hell. these picks are probably going to really suck since i haven't had any real chance to do any kind of research, but as always, numbers from caesar's, home team in caps.

GB (-3.5) over min (o/u - 37)
it's always good to see a young good looking black quarterback with a cool name like tavarius to get the start for the vikes, but it seems that the packers are playing a little harder in case brett favre dies in the next two games. by the way, i have this theory that the packers are completely unconcerned about winning and are going to do whatever they can do to get brett favre the 8 tds he needs to break marino's record. that way, he'll retire and they can finally start trying to rebuild.

kc (-7) over OAK (o/u - 36)
the chiefs fighting for their playoff lives coupled with an oakland team that has packed it in for the winter spells larry johnson scoring a whole lot. something that is also important about this game is that it is a lot of league's championship week. and i think if you're still alive and have larry johnson going against LT, i think you have a pretty decent chance.

BUF (-4.5) over ten (o/u - 36.5)
i could go either way here. both of these teams seem like they have young qbs that are incrementally figured it out. so i figured i'd just take the home team with the better defense. but on the other hand, i can totally see that vince young got his bad game out of his system last week and they still freaking won. maybe he's got a horseshoe shoved up his ass, but i'd stay away from this one if i were you.

no (+3) over NYG (o/u - 47.5)
strahan is back so that worries me. actually, a lot of things about this game worries me. new orleans has clinched their division and the giants are the desperate team. however, i think that the saints are still gunning hard for that first round bye.

ATL (-6.5) over car (o/u - 42)
with or without weinke, the panthers are hands down the most disappointing team of the year. i heard john clayton say it on sportscenter, "the panthers have lost their identity," which i couldn't have siad better myself. last year, they had a great running game with a game breaking wide receiver and suffocating defense. this year, they're just inconsistent.

was (+2.5) over STL (o/u - 43)
ummmmm...this is another game that i have no idea about so i'll just take the points.

ind (-9.5) over HOU (o/u - 47.5)
i'm really surprised that this line isn't up to 13 or 14 yet. i can't remember the last time the texans covered against the colts.

bal (+3.5) over PIT (o/u - 36)
similar situation to the saints where the ravens have clinched the division and are unlikely to improve on their playoff seeding with the colts and the chargers ahead of them. that said, i don't know if mcnair is going or not. either way, i think that big ben is going to have a bad day against the ravens defense.

tb (+3) over CLE (o/u - 36)
no idea. taking the points.

DET (+4.5) over chi (o/u - 42)
no idea, but i figure that with chicago having sewn up homefield, and with detroit at home, that maybe we have a super low scoring game. seriously, i hate picking games at the end of the season.

ne (+2.5) over JAX (o/u - 37)
don't know about this line, but i freakin' nailed that jags pick last week. anyways, i'll reiterate, the jags are not for real and they probably won't beat the pats who i think are still probably a legit playoff contender.

SFO (-4.5) over ari (o/u - 45.5)
is the NFC west crazy or what. it looks like 8-8 is going to win that division. and with last weeks win over the seahawks, man why wouldn't the niners be the favorite?

cin (+3) over DEN (o/u - 44.5)
i don't like picking against the broncos at home, but did you guys see the bengals game last week. peyton was fantastic in that game. i mean seriously, there was nothing that the bengals could do. jay cutler is no peyton manning.

sd (-5) over SEA (o/u - 46.5)
i waffled on this one a lot. one the one hand, it seems like the chargers are due for a letdown and that the seahawks are a more desperate team. but the chargers still haven't clinched homefield for the playoffs yet, so they'll keep the heat coming. and the seahawks will have blown winning the worst division in football.

phi (+7) over DAL (o/u - 46.5)
i am envisioning a much closer game than vegas does. as i've said before, i fear the eagle. the cwoboys defense hasn't been all that lately, but i think that big bill will get the troops together and get them to play better. but i think that this will be a low scoring affair with the cowboys winning by 4 or 5.

MIA (-2.5) over nyj (o/u - 36.5)
seriously, was there really any need to schedule another christmas day game? whatever.

ok, that's it for now folks. i'll get the money bets in a little later. hope everyone has a nice xmas.


bobby the gook season 3, week 15

i think it's time we took some time to acknowledge the season that fredo is having. last fredo extended his streak of double digits wins to three by going a more than stellar 12-4. even after getting 11 games the previous two weeks he somehow managed to actually improve last week. the downside to this is that yours truly went 11-5 and lost ground. not that it matters cuz right now, fredo is just like the san diego chargers and LT, we know they're going to win alot, but we're just sticking around now to see how many touchdowns he can score. erik on the other hand is letting his true sorry colors show and finished in a distant third with only 9 wins. but i can't talk much since he ended my fantasy season last week. eff him. anyways, i'm getting closer to .500 which is the goal for me right now. on the other hand, the money round is getting a little more interesting as i managed to make $220 last week, while fredo only made $80, most of it on a three team parlay. anyways, here are the standings.

Bob vs. Fredo
season record
Winning Pct.
Vegas Round

Bob vs. Erik
season record
Winning Pct.

anyways, let's get on with it since there's a game in about three hours.

SEA (-9.5) over sfo (o/u - 38)
the niners aren't looking so hot these days, but neither do the seahawks. the seahawks are most definitely a better team and i'm just guessing that the hawks roll at home here. also, how crappy must it be for shaun alexander to only have one of the glamour records, most touchdowns in a season, for not even a full year. man LT is good.

dal (-3.5) over ATL (o/u - 43)
this one makes me nervous because despite the debaucle of last sunday night, the falcons are still the more desperate team. they aren't in charge of their division, so they really need to win out to make it. however, i'm hoping that parcells and his big FUPA can straighten out the cowboys and make them realize that they pretty much need to win out to win the division. so that makes them desperate in their own way. on a personal note, i'm getting a little nervous with how well the eagles are playing. also, saturday games are completely stupid.

nyj (+3) over MIN (o/u - 41)
i actually think that the jets are the better team, but i fear the mini-trap here. at the same time, i guess i could be getting sucked in by their win last week against the lions. actually, i'm changing my original pick, gimme the jets.

BAL (-11) over cle (o/u - 34)
this is the time of the year where we start to see more blowouts. ravens at home, a terrible browns offense, and a quarterback i've never ever heard of...seems easy enough.

NE (-12) over hou (o/u - 37)
again, the end of year blowout theory + the fact that i nailed the new england pick last year. i think that tom brady is just too good to play that poorly two weeks in a row. throw in the fact that david carr is playing on the road, outside, etc....well you get the picture.

mia (+1.5) over BUF (o/u - 34.5)
perhaps it is unwise to take the warm weather team on the road, but miami's defense just seems completely dominant right now. on the other hand, willis mcgahee is looking real good these days. in other words, i have no idea, so gimme the points.

pit (-3) over CAR (o/u - 39)
go against the panthers at home.

was (+10) over NO (o/u - 45)
this is going against the late season blowout theory, but i think the saints will let down a little after last weeks great game, and maybe the skins can show some signs of life now that there is no pressure on them at all.

TEN (+3.5) over jax (o/u - 41)
you wanna pick against the great vince young right now? me neither. and let's not forget how bad the jaguars can be. this is a team built for inconsistency, and they've been good the last two weeks, so i expect them to regress back to the mean here.

CHI (-13.5) over tam (o/u - 33.5)
blowout theory. however, as always, beware the rex. it's weird how everyone seems to be saying that the rex grossman thing is not an issue anymore. but he didn't have that great a game last week. all the same, the buccs are el stinko.

phi (+5.5) over NYG (o/u - 43.5)
no i don't think that the eagles are better off with jeff garcia, but still, i kinda fear the eagles. again, i'm not sure where all the talk about the giants solving their problems is coming from, after all, they only beat chris weinke last week.

GB (-5) over det (o/u - 43.5)
erik seems to say that it's real easy to run on the lions, but i think that brett favre is going to make a lot of progress towards marino's all time td record. i should probably take the points here, but detroit is pretty bad.

DEN (-3) over ari (o/u - 41.5)
i'm pleased with matt leinart's progress. but i just think that this late in the season, with as much on the line for the broncos, shanahan will have a good enough game plan to show the cards that they still have a ways to go.

SD (-8.5) over kc (o/u - 46.5)
man i'm taking a lot of favorites. not good. but seriously, 29 touchdowns with three games left + 2 passing tds. i don't think it is a stretch to say that LT's season is the single most dominant statistical year that i've ever seen in my lifetime.

stl (+2.5) over OAK (o/u - 38)
again, i'm not real happy with this game. is st. louis that bad? maybe, but why are the raiders any of a smarter pick? i'll take the points.

IND (-3) over cin (o/u - 54)
this can't be a good pick. in fact, everything i can come up with says that the bengals will just let rudi run wild over the colts. i know i used this logic last week, but can the colts be this bad for this long of a stretch? it's clear that they are a one and done playoff team, but they can't be so bad as to lose 4 out of 5? maybe i'm completely wrong, but i coulda sworn that peyton was playing his ass off before this last few games. whatever you do, don't base your own pick on mine cuz i have no confidence in this pick whatsoever.

again, i'll get the money bets down later.


sports quick hits

1) the duke rape case is starting to fall apart. i don't know the specifics of prosecuting a rape case, but it would seem to me that when you find the DNA of other guys and not the DNA of anyone on the team on the accuser, you would not be able to convict beyond a shadow of a doubt. very unfortunate situation. i was one of those people who said that duke lacrosse players were getting a free pass because they were white, but it turns out they are probably not guilty. however, that doesn't change my opinion that lacrosse is the province of privileged kids and that alcohol is a gigantic issue in college sports and college in general that no one really wants to do anything about.

2) more title IX stuff. a while back, i wrote about a girls high school basketball coach who was fired for asking for some practice time in the nice gym (can't find the link, sorry). anyways, the court went to the supreme court and lo and behold, he freakin' won! it's a step in the right direction. but if you're interested i suggest you read the linked article, because things were a lot worse than i thought they would be.

3) joey porter apologizes to kellen winslow jr for calling him a "fag". seriously, between mel gibson, kramer, rosie o'donnell and this, it befuddles me whenever people think i talk about race too much.


rosie o'donnell is a 'hippo'-crite

ha ha get it! hippo? you know, cuz she's fat, and not funny. it's not so nice when the name calling is directed at you now is it rosie. anyways, for those of you who haven't heard yet, rosie o'donnell is a big fat hypocrite. i know you all knew about the big and fat part, but i'm talking about the hypocrite part. in case you didn't hear, she did some racist shtick on that stupid show, the view the other day. it's not as if i didn't already hate rosie o'donnell, but this just really rachets up the level of hatred to a new level. i now hate her more than mike krzyzewski, but less than scott stapp. this youtube video sums up my feelings nicely.

seriously, the view is the single worst show on television today. try to think of a worse show...you can't think of one can you? anyways, now it is the single worst racist show on television today.

p.s. the really crazy thing about this is that the youtube video is by michelle malkin, a crazy right wing asian political pundit (think anne coulter lite, except much hotter) that usually gives my people a bad name. but i got to give her props here, cuz she nailed it (except for saying that rosie is a leading voice of the left...she's certainly not this lefty's leader).


bobby the gook season 3, week 14

for all intensive purposes, this season is over. fredo has demolished me and currently holds a 21 game lead over my sorry ass. what can i say, i'm just not a good gambler anymore. which is just as well. this was the first fall in about 5 years where i didn't make a couple of trips to vegas, so i guess if i want to look on the bright side, i saved a whole lot of money on car insurance, i mean gambling debts. anyways, last week was pretty emblematic of my whole season. i went a slightly less than mediocre 6-9, while fredo simply shined with an 11-4 record. so fredo, like dirk diggler in boogie nights, "you've got the touch!"*. erik on the other hand, is showing his true idiot colors as he managed to go 5-10. what a loser! in the money round, i actually had an ok day as i won sixty bucks on the strength of my two over under bets (nailed it!). fredo with his crazy ass betting almost did ok. as i was adding up his bets, at one point he was up $140, but after all was said and done, he was -$70 on the week. however, i should mention that fredo hit a three leg over/under parlay, so mad props to fred for that. anyways, here are the standings.

Bob vs. Fredo
season record
Winning Pct.
Vegas Round

Bob vs. Erik
season record
Winning Pct.

as you can see, erik is hanging on by the slimmest of margins. i suspect if he had picked the game that he missed, we'd be tied right now. seriously, major league A-1 certified loser. anyways, on with the show, home team in caps, and numbers from caesars.

PIT (-7) over cle (o/u - 33)
is it possible that the browns can cover two weeks in a row, and even more importantly, can they do it on the road? hines ward is still out, but receiver ain't the problem. seriously, has there ever been a super bowl team that has been this bad the next season. i blame terry bradshaw.

bal (+3) over KC (o/u - 36)
this line seems weird to me, especially how good the ravens are against the run. trent green had a nice game last week, but seriously, eff him. there's no way i think he can do it two weeks in a row.

ATL (-3.5) over tb (o/u - 38)
i really should roll with the home dog here, but i feel that atlanta has been really good on the road. i think that the falcons seize control of the wild card race here. and then after the game, mike vick goes to mons venus and gives all the dancers herpes after the game.

min (+1.5) over DET (o/u - 38.5)
how in the world did detroit pull last week's performance out of their ass? i mean sure they ended up blowing it and losing, but they more than covered the spread of 13.5 points. that really was too many points, and i'm an idiot for not taking them last week. that said, there's just no way in hell that i would take the lions as a favorite. and erik is a loser.

ten (+1.5) over HOU (o/u - 41.5)
this lines perplexes me. the titans beat one of the best teams in the NFL and yet their dogs at the freakin' texans. trap? i don't know, i'm just a caveman. i don't understand your complicated games of chance. but what i do know is that my fantasy team is about to ride vince young to a league championship. seriously, vince young looks to me like he's starting to figure out this NFL. he has the air of a super bowl doug williams about him, where everything he does just turns to gold.

nyg (pk) over CAR (o/u - n/a)
this line is off the board everywhere i've checked. i'm not really sure what is going on, but in a battle of extremely mediocre teams that are fighting for a playoff spot, i'll take the giants. i just think that they're going to end up at the wildcard, if for no other reason just to piss me off for the season as i am forced to care about the outcome of giants game for the sake of the cowboys winning the division. which leads us to....

DAL (-7) over no (o/u - 47.5)
for those of you who haven't seen the highlights, at the end of the game, with the score tied and time running out and deep in giants territory, romo takes the snap, scrambles left to avoid the rush, and then throws the most perfect 40 yard pass to jason witten who had one step on the corner and had the safety bearing down on him. it was in all seriousness, the definition of the perfect pass. i turned to erik and said, "that is a major league throw". it got me thinking about which qb's that are currently in the NFL that have a good chance of making that same throw. this is the list that i came up with in order of probability of making that play: tom brady, donavan mcnabb, carson palmer, drew brees, mike vick. and those last two are reaches. the point is, of course it is too early to anoint tony romo the next tom brady. but i simply cannot see how anyone can look at this kid and not think that he's going to be a really good qb.

buf (+4) over NYJ (o/u - 37)
eric mangini may be the next nick saban in that he is the coach that everyone refuses to say might not be good. one win against the packers and pundits are all penciling the jets in for a playoff spot. i'm not buying.

ind (-1.5) over JAX (o/u - 44)
the jags are the desperate team here, so beware, but i just don't think it is possible for a team like the colts to lose 3 out of 4.

WAS (+1) over phi (o/u - 40)
andy reid is another coach who is regularly fellated by writers and tv people. i'm not saying he's bad, but in at least two of the four NFC championship games, he was badly outcoached. they beat a terrible panthers team and everyone wants to say how reid is keeping things together. not that washington is great or anything, but this seems like a good place to take the home dog.

oak (+11) over CIN (o/u - 40)
lesson learned, not taking favorites for more than 10 points again.

MIA (+3.5) over ne (o/u - 37)
i'm not saying that i think that the patriots suck. they're pretty good this year, but clearly, they've regressed from their salad days. in years past, this was a game that you were absolutely sure that the pats would take care of business, but they've lost a couple of games like that already this season, and this seems like another case where this happens again.

gb (+4) over SFO (o/u - 44)
remember in the nineties when this was a great freakin' game? me neither. the crazy thing is that brett favre was the quarterback then as well. ughhh, gimme the points.

sea (-3.5) over ARI (o/u - 45.5)
i don't know about this one so i should take the points, but i just feel that i might be getting sucked in by the cards beating a crappy rams team last week.

SD (-7.5) over den (o/u - 42.5)
it's a pretty big spread, but jay cutler on the road against a real good defense? forget it. by the way, i was so freakin' right about him. fredo brought up a good point in that he went to freakin' vanderbilt. how could anyone think that this was going to work out this season.

chi (-6.5) over STL (o/u - 40.5)
i have rex grossman on both of my fantasy teams. he has screwed me in so many different ways this year that i'm actually starting to question my sexuality. so like i said, i'm playing vince young in my playoff game with erik, the biggest loser of all time, so naturally, grossman is going to throw for three TDs and 400 yds on monday night.

it's late, so i'll get my money picks in a little later. go cowboys!

* i've never really noticed it before, but john c. reilly really turns in a fantastic performance during the recording session scenes of boogie nights.


bobby the gook season 3, week 13

last week, in our real-life pool, the guy in charge did a real douchebag thing and changed from picking against the spread to having to pick winners. as a result, fredo and i got effed in the a, as we only got 8 games, while picking against the spread both of us got at least 10. the only reason i bring this up is that picking against the spread is an entirely different animal from picking winners. conventional wisdom would say that picking winners is easier than against the spread, but we've gotten so good at picking against the spread, picking winners seems like just a foreign thing to me these days, hence explaining our poor performance in the real life pool. anyways, last week, i went 10-5 and fredo went 11-4, so no real change in the standings. although fredo did pick the thursday night game correctly, while i sucked the big one and picked the freakin' ravens. erik went 10-5 as well, so no real change this week in those standings and got the cinci game right as well. a couple of things about this week. fredo says that football outsiders say that blowouts are much more likey in weeks 1-4 and in weeks 13-17, so seemingly, taking the dog with a lot of points in not as safe as it was last week. we both skipped out on the money betting, and seeing how it was thanksgiving and all, let's just call last week a holiday and we'll just start the money betting again. second, this is the last week of the regular season for both of my fantasy leagues. i need to win in both leagues to make the playoffs, so needless to say, it's a big football weekend for me. anyways, here are the standings.

Bob vs. Fredo
season record
Winning Pct.
Vegas Round

Bob vs. Erik
season record
Winning Pct.

home team in caps, and point spreads from caesars.

CHI (-9.5) over min (o/u - 35)
i hate leaving this many points on the table, but after chicago's first loss, they rebounded well. and what do the vikings have? i really need rex grossman to do well if i'm to have any chance in fantasy as well.

tb (+7.5) over PIT (o/u - 41)
seriously, big ben has been playing worse than leftwich and vick combined, yet nobody is calling him a coach killer. i wonder why. anyways, i'm just following the rule that when you don't have a good idea, take the points.

ari (+6.5) over STL (o/u - 46)
seriously, matt leinart is playing really well, as i predicted at the beginning of the season. the rams' defense sucks just enough to let matt leinart start his legacy as captain comeback here.

ind (-7.5) over TEN (o/u - 46.5)
i was pretty impressed by vince young last week. it was hard to say how good he would be in the NFL, but if we see anything resembling his fourth quarter in this game, i think it is safe to say that he'll be pretty good. that being said, everyone and their mom is taking the titans because of last week and because they nearly beat the colts last time out. so i'm inclined to go the other way.

MIA (-1) over jax (o/u - 35.5)
with as well as they've been playing, why would anyone pick against the dolphins at this point. why would anyone take the jags for that matter. what a pretender the jags turned out to be.

NO (-7) over sfo (o/u - 46)
the saints on the other hand seem to be legit after all. the niners are the trendy pick here, so that is why i'm inclined to take the saints again here. however, i'd stay away if i were you.

atl (+1) over WAS (o/u - 38.5)
man i sure am taking a lot of road dogs. not a good philosophy. anyways, after winning the game on an electrifying 64 yard touchdown run, mike vick is going to unveil his new touchdown dance, where warrick dunn stands behind michael vick to make it look like he has four arms and hands and then they'll proceed to flip four birds to the crowd, thereby outdoing his bird flipping performance of last week. on the serious tip, it kinda galls me to hear everyone talk about how michael vick just can't win in the NFL. if your offensive coordinator can't put together an offense that takes full advantage of one othe best athletes of this century, then your problem isn't your quarterback. anyways, just taking the points here.

kc (-5.5) over CLE (o/u - 35.5)
i really want to take another home dog at some point, but not here. seriously, what does anyone see in charlie frye?

NE (-13.5) over det (o/u - 41.5)
back and forth on this one. i don't know, a lot of points, but i just feel like detroit has been screwing me all year.

dal (-3.5) over NYG (o/u - 43.5)
it's kinda weird, i feel like the giants and the cowboys have switched positions from the beginning of the year. for the giants, they were winning at the beginning of the year and everything was going great, whereas it was all T.O. all the time for the cowboys as they struggled early. now the cowboys are winning and no one even batted an eye when owens said that he thought cutting vanderjagt was a bad idea, and granted they're in new york, but there can't be enough things wrong with the giants ship right now. i might be jinxing this, but i'm pretty sure that the cowboys are going to roll here. the only thing that makes me nervous is that this is a must-win emotion game for the giants, and in football, those always seem to go the way of the desperate team.

oak (-3) over HOU (o/u - 35.5)
i have nothing to say about this game except that david carr is officially a bust. the texans seriously need to be contracted. houston doesn't deserve an NFL franchise.

sea (+4) over DEN (o/u - 40.5)
i know nothing about jay cutler except that he can't be worse than jake plummer. but that's really not saying much now is it. it's weird that people are saying that denver has to play cutler if denver is going to have any chance to win the super bowl. unless jay cutler is the next coming of johnny unitas, denver never had a chance in the first place.

car (-3) over PHI (o/u - 37.5)
i hate this pick because i'm pretty sure that the panthers are pretenders in this thing. the eagles for all intensive purposes have shut things down for this season, and this is a must win for the panthers so i'll think they win, but the panthers look like a wild card loser if i ever saw one.

bonus betting
$50 on chi-min over
$50 on dal-nyg under

$10 3 team parlay - dal/chi/kc
$10 3 team parlay - nyg/chi/kc
$10 4 team parlay - oak/sea/chi/kc
$10 4 team parlay - oak/sea/min/kc


more title IX madness

i guess i am resuming my regular blogging duties now. anyways, a wisconsin boy recently lost his title IX case, where he was suing so that he could compete on a girls' gymnastics team. at his school, there wasn't a boys' team because there wasn't enough interest and in his quest to become the next paul hamm, he wanted an opportunity to compete. he actually ended up losing on technical grounds with the court ruling that the athletic federation that administers high school sports in wisconsin is not technically an arm of the state. in other words, it technically doesn't get any government money.

i'm actually a little torn on this. on the one hand, i can see that girls would lose out if this was allowed since 1) he's taking opportunities away from other girls and 2) he would have an unfair advantage in some competitions such as the vault, where his natural advantage in muscle mass would help him. but on the other hand, how is this different from the girld who wants to play football? i suppose the deciding factor is the greater good, which in my opinion is girls having opportunities to participate in sports that they didn't have before, over the individual good, this dude getting to prance around in tights (look at me reinforcing hegemonic masculinity!). either way, as we get closer to equity in sports, we can see that we still have a long way to go in terms of really figuring out gender equity.

freakin' NFL

i hate that there's going to be a thursday night game from here on out. anyways, i don't have time to get all of my picks out there, but here is the thursday game.

bal (+3) over CIN (o/u - 41.5)
for some reason i can't figure out, the bengals are favored here. their offense has looked great the past few games, so this could be a trap, but the ravens offense and defense have been just as hot, so i'll go with the dog here.

i'll get the rest of the picks up later today or tommorow. bn


clear eyes, full heart, can't lose

for those of you who are uninitiated, the title of this post refers to the tagline of the new television show friday night lights. i know that i haven't been blogging about anything other than football picks, but this show is so freakin' good, that i felt compelled to put down in writing why i think the show works on so many levels. who knows, maybe, i'll start blogging on a normal basis again after this.

anyways, the show is about a fictional small town texas high school team, the dillon panthers. when i first heard that they were making a television show about this i was super skeptical. as mentioned on this blog before, i am a gigantic fan of the book, and i thought the movie was pretty good too. however, i could not just wrap my head around how NBC was going to be able to turn this into a regular television show. i had bad visions of varsity blues, the television series going through my head (not that i didn't love the movie, cuz i did). but you know what i mean, over the top sports scenes, ridiculous dialog from adults who were supposed to be teenagers and dumb stuff like that. but it turns out that i was wrong on a lot of levels.

first of all, it's well written. and in television, that is really the key to any good show, that the dialog be compelling. i feel like the teenagers talk and look like teenagers (with a couple of exceptions, but i'm not going to quibble over the fact that two of the three female leads look at least 23). but more importantly, i feel like the writers make it a point to not be predictable in terms of shows like this. for example, almost all of the main characters are flawed in some way, but they all also have moments we're we empathize with them and more importantly, we root for them because they decide to do the right thing.

in terms of subject matter, another thing i was afraid of is that they were going to try and cram every single topic pertaining to high school sports into one season. granted there have only been seven or so episodes, but i feel like the show is taking its time with a lot of the story lines. for example, in the first few shows, the stage is set for two of the players, the black star running back, and the hick drunk fullback, to hate each other. since then, they really haven't done much with it other than to show a few reaction shots to remind us that these guys don't like each other much. i could be wrong, and they end up doing a whole show on just that, but there are enough subplots to make sure that no one plot takes complete center stage for one episode. and i think that makes it more realistic. don't get me wrong, i understand that the medium of television is limited in the way it able to tell stories, so there needs to be some tidiness to story arcs, but like i said, i feel like the producers are taking their time. it definitely takes some commitment on the viewers part, but i personally like shows that are a bit challenging like that. it might have something to do with the fact that the show is produced by peter berg, whose background is in movies.

the second thing that i'm surprised i like is that the do deal with some typical teen angst show topics. i.e. cheating on your boyfriend, the vagaries of learning how to date in high school, jocks vs. nerds, etc. however, unlike it's predecessors like 90210 or even dawson's creek, instead of wrapping up the problem in a single show, the characters often make the wrong decisions, and then have to live with the consequences for several episodes. like i said, it is a show about teenagers, so of course some of these things are going to show up. i just feel that it's not done in the saved by the bell kind of way.

the biggest thing for me however, is that i find the overall tone of the show to be just plain sad. which is something you don't often find on television. and that is what i think makes it realistic. these are not people who are rising above what society has given them to achieve great things. they are people who make do with what society gives them and the only time that they really find solace in each other or their community is through the success of high school football. and that is how it really is in those small texas towns. perhaps it is my urban cosmopolitan background, but in high school whenever we went to one of these small towns to play an away game (no, i didn't play football, i was a band nerd), i always sensed this sadness among the people. that they are born, grow up, live, and then die in the same town. and it's not that they don't want to live in the big city and become all cultured or whatever, it is just that there are so many things that prevent them from leaving and that makes them sad. anyways, the sadness is done just so real, it's heartbreaking at times. and at the risk of sounding really lame, the sadness can be beautiful.

the sports scenes are done well, especially in light of the fact that there only seems to be a game every other episode. there's enough sports footage to give us an idea of how the game went, but most of the show focuses on life outside the actual game.

i also like that the show devotes a good portion of time to the lives of the adults. the coach, his wife, the parents, and things like that. again, this adds to the realism, since shows like 90210 or saved by the bell which revolved exclusively around the teens always came off as whiny and stupid to me. raising kids in small town texas ain't easy, and you can see it in this show.

it's by no means a perfect show. the first couple of episodes had a little bit of hokiness in how the dillon panthers won their games. and much like the movie, i'm not completely satisfied with the
treatment of race. there have been some real subtle things about the black/white dynamic, but there's been nothing about latinos, and in texas, believe me, they're everywhere, so it seems a little bit unrealistic in that respect. but overall, this is easily one of the best television shows that i've seen in a while.

anyways, NBC is doing a real interesting thing in making all of the episodes in their entirety available for viewing on their website. so for those of you who need to catch up, i highly recommend devoting a couple of hours this weekend in catching up.


bobby the gook season 3, week 12

hoy cow, we are getting down to the stretch run and last week i think told us a lot about how things are going to turn out for our overall picks. in terms of picks, it was mega-status quo week as both fredo and i went 8-8 and therefore no change in how far apart we are. erik, who let his girlfriend pick his games went 7-9. i guess he was doing that bit where the radio talk show host will let his dog pick or something. in this case, erik's GF is the dog. way to go erik! anyways, after losing everything in a fit of wildass betting last week, i nailed two big parlays, one 10 dollar five team for +200, and even better a 15 dollar six team parlay for 600 bucks. fredo on the other hand went with quantity instead of quality and ended up losing 20 bucks. i'm still far away, but come on, i won 800 bucks on two parlays! give it up for me! anyways, here are the standings.

Bob vs. Fredo
season record
Winning Pct.
Vegas Round

Bob vs. Erik
season record
Winning Pct.

how do ya like my table skills? anyways, on to picks, numbers from caesar's, home teams in caps.

mia (-2.5) over DET (o/u - 39)
yeah, i know that detroit has the thanksgiving game advantage, but after losing to the cardinals last week, i'm never ever going to take the lions in the matt millen era. erik, you're team is continuing to be the laughing stock of the NFL. i feel bad for you at this point. oh well, at least you have the tigers.

tb (+11) over DAL (o/u - 39)
SEASON IS BACK ON! seriously, last week's win over the undefeated manning colts is one of the best wins in franchise history. i fully willing to admit that i was wrong on romo. he's got a little something and maybe the cowboys won't win the super bowl this year, i think that they're going to be stable at QB for a couple of years now, which it really hasn't been since troy aikman, NFL quarterback retired. given that, i'm just not going to leave 11 points on the table.

KC (-1) over den (o/u - 38)
this one makes me nervous, but have i ever mentioned that jake plummer is the devil? shanahan has screwed himself by not going to cutler earlier, cuz if he makes the switch now, there's no way that denver can win the division or make a deep playoff run. rookie quarterbacks, just can't do that.

jax (-3) over BUF (o/u - 36)
i'm going to end up regretting this, i just have trouble with the jags. i think they'll build on last week's win, while buffalo has had their moment in the sun by covering the spread with a minute left.

NYJ (-5.5) over hou (o/u - 39.5)
not that i like the jets, cuz i don't, but i don't like the texans on the road even more.

BAL (-2.5) over pit (o/u - 38)
nice little run that the steelers put together, but i can't imagine it lasting against a quality team. the ravens have been looking alot better since billick took over the play calling.

cin (-3) over CLE (o/u - 43)
i really think this line should be a lot bigger so it worries me a little bit, but the carson-CJ show has been quite impressive, and i don't see it slowing down against a less than mediocre browns team.

MIN (-6.5) over ari (o/u - 38.5)
again, i don't like the cards on the road. min may be tanking their season, but i just can't bring myself to take the cards this season.

STL (-6.5) over sfo (o/u - 44.5)
middle of the road teams will win home division games against other middle of the road teams. and i refuse to believe that the niners are better than middle of the road.

no (-3) over ATL (o/u - 48)
even though we saw bad vick last week, i think the saints will get it together if for no other reason than the NFL wants to keep its feel good story of the year going.

car (-4) over WAS (o/u - 36)
good luck to jason campbell, without clinton portis, and against julius peppers. i forsee defensive touchdowns in this game.

IND (-9.5) over phi (o/u - 44)
what's more likely, that the eagles rally around jeff garcia to send indy reeling to two consecutive losses, something they haven't done in over two years? or that indy blows the eagles out of the water. give me the latter.

TEN (+3) over nyg (o/u - 42.5)
last week, after the cowboys won and the eagles lost, i was extremely happy about the way the NFC east was shaping up, because everytime i see the giants play, i see nothing even remotely special about this team. they really showed it on monday night, and i think that this is the week that the cowboys seize the division.

oak (+13.5) over SD (o/u - 43)
of course, i don't think the raiders are going to win, but the rule is to take big dogs.

SEA (pk) over gb (o/u - 45)
this line is off at most places, as no one knows if hasselbeck is ready to go. if he's not, i might be really tempted to go the other way with the packers, but since most reports are saying he'll be ready, we'll stick with the hawks for now.

i need to think about my money bets, so i'll post them as a comment later. have a great thanksgiving everyone.


bobby the gook season 3, week 11

all you need to know is that fredo and i are two different ships headed in the opposite direction. after the last two weeks, i'm at 63-74-6 (.460), while fredo is at 78-59-6 (.569). even worse, in the money betting, i blew everything in a series of ill-advised bets and i'm down to $0.00. so we'll have to make up some new rules so that i can keep betting. fredo on the other hand actually, won 50 bucks two weeks ago, but he blew it all this past weekend, despite hitting a 5 team parlay. he's sitting on $1110 for the year, (-310 on the year). erik sucked as much as i did and went 6-10 last week and he forgot to play the week before. anyways, in that matchup, i'm 38-45-5 (.458) and erik is 39-43-5 (.476). whatever, he's still an effing a-hole. on to the picks, numbers from caesar's and home team in caps.

KC (-9) over oak (o/u - 35)
umm, i know i shouldn't leave that many points on the table, but i just heard that they're putting aaron brooks back in. this fact really pisses me off because i didn't know this when i made my real life pool picks. damn you art shell. you give black coaches everywhere a bad name.

ind (-1) over DAL (o/u - 49)
as much as it pains me to pick against the good guys, the simple fact is that even with romo playing at a pretty decent level, he is no peyton manning, who is seriously playing quarterback better than i've ever seen in my whole life. seriously, there's just no question that he's the MVP right now. the other thing is that i would have to believe that dallas is a serious contender to think that they might win. and unfortunately, i don't.

cin (+3.5) over NO (o/u - 52)
lord knows why i'm taking the bengals, as they've kinda screwed me the last two weeks. but here's how i see it. their season basically ended with that crazy loss to the chargers last week. the pressure is off, they have something to prove, and they'll play well against a saints team that has basically overachieved all year. dammit, i hate my reasoning, yet another pick in my real football pool that i don't feel good about.

CLE (+3.5) over pit (o/u - 37.5)
i'm not fooled by last week's steeler's win. the browns are going to be frisky the rest of the season, so i'll just go with the home dog here.

ten (-13) over PHI (o/u - 43.5)
i don't feel good about this one either. i know it's a gigantic number, but it seems to me that philly is one of the teams that consistently takes care of business against the crappy teams in the league. but just too many points.

atl (+3.5) over BAL (o/u - 41)
my falcons pick are simply based on the idea that michael vick totally kicks ass some weeks and then just sucks in others. i think he'll be good after being bad last week.

CAR (-7) over stl (o/u - 44.5)
the panthers seem to always be a late season team and starting in the second half of last night's monday night game, i thought they looked great. like a real threat to win the NFC. julius peppers is simply unreal. and i'll think he'll cause all sorts of problems for bulger and company.

HOU (-2.5) over buf (o/u - 36)
dammit, we took the bills in the pool too.

GB (+6) over ne (o/u - 45)
i know people have said this before, but the pats look to be in pretty bad shape. i just don't see how this team can do more than win a wild card game.

was (+3) over TAM (o/u - -33)
in probably one of the worst matchups of all time, jason campbell faces off against bruce gradowski. so this one will probably be playing here in santa barbara.

chi (-6) over NYJ (o/u - 38)
people are overreacting to the jets beating the patriots last week. remember folks the patriots are in serious trouble so they're not as good as people think. therefore beating the patriots is also not as good as people think. give me lovie smith, the sure fire coach of the year over eric mangini, yet another completely overrated belichick disciple.

MIA (-3.5) over min (o/u - 33.5)
seriously, what the hell happened to the vikings. for the first month of the season, i thought they looked great. now they've lost to the niners and the packers in consecutive weeks. another one i wish i could change in real life.

det (+2) over ARI (o/u - 45.5)
you figure that this is good as any week where the cards get it together. but i can't take the cards for anything less than +5.

SFO (+5.5) over sea (o/u - 43)
no real logic here, just a feeling about the dog here.

sd (+2) over DEN (o/u - 42.5)
i hate picking against denver at home, but i love picking against jake the snake against the greatest TCU running back ever.

JAX (-3.5) over nyg (o/u - 38.5)
what the hell have the giants done to make me think that they won't get killed on the road? i'll tell you what, not a goddammed thing.

ok, for the money thing, we'll just do the jeopardy thing and say that i can't wager more than 100 bucks a week until i'm back in the black.

so i'll try fifty bucks on indy and since i have to catch up i'll try some crazy parlays

$10 5 team - SD/IND/ind-dal under/hou-buf over/CHI
$10 5 team - SD/DAL/ind-dal under/hou-buf over/CHI
$15 6 team - SD/IND/ind-dal under/hou-buf over/CHI/JAX
$15 6 team - SD/DAL/ind-dal under/hou-buf over/CHI/JAX

this doesn't make any sense, but since i'm just making rules up at this point, i don't care anymore. i'm terrible at handicapping football.


bobby the gook season 3, week 10

good golly miss molly. so much has happened this week, between the dems taking over the government to the transition from k-fed to fedex, i'm only assured that my impending decision to retire from blogging might be a really good one. however, bloggers new addition of labels, may tempt me to stay on. technology rules! i've got a zillion things to do right now, so i can't talk much, so i'm just going to get on with the picks. i'll tally up our current standings in the comments section tomorrow or monday, but right now, i've got a fever and the only prescription is gamblin'! and more cowbell! number's from caesar's, home teams in caps.

kc (-1) over MIA (o/u - 40)
this one seems easy to me as the dolphins ruined parlays all over the nation last week. my take, complete aberration. the chiefs are just a much better team for me to take the home dog.

JAX (-10) over hou (o/u - 37)
my extremely sound logic is that houston won the last game, which they probably shouldn't have, and division games almost always split for the season.

CIN (+1) over sd (o/u - 48)
not that i think cinnci is any good, it just seems that the chargers have been rolling all season against the spread. stay away.

cle (+8) over ATL (o/u - 42)
seriously, the falcons are the most maddening team to pick. some weeks they look unbeatable, others they look like crap. usually i would say that since the falcons had a bad week last week, they'll have a good one this week. however, they had two good weeks in a row before than one, so again, with the bulletproof logic, i'll say they will make it even out here.

IND (-12.5) over buf (o/u - 45)
i want to take the dog here as it's very possible that indy has a let down after last week, but without mcgahee, i just can't do it.

PIT (-5.5) over no (o/u - 45.5)
last week's steeler's game was supposed to be a trap, but it wasn't as the steelers sucked like they have all year, the rare reverse trap if you will. however, this looks as trappy as can be, and i'd rather pick wrong then get caught.

PHI (-7.5) over was (o/u - 42.5)
as bad as things have been for the cowboys, at least i can take some solace in the fact that the redskins are infinitely worse off than the boys.

chi (+1.5) over NYG (o/u -37.5)
i'm surprised that the giants are still favored with all those injuries. the bears have a injury problem of their own with mike brown out. still, the giants are going to be basically starting their scout team on offense.

MIN (-5.5) over gb (o/u -39)
i really should take the packers here, but i remember something about how favre sucks inside and in the metrodome.

NE (-10.5) over nyj (o/u - 37.5)
i have nothing to say here, so i'll just say that even though we all saw the train wreck of the federline-spears marriage coming, it still is a relief that fedex will soon fade into pop culture obscurity.

DET (-6) over sfo (o/u - 46)
can't take the niners on the road.

den (-9) over OAK (o/u - 33)
seriously, will al davis please just die already?

stl (+3.5) over SEA (o/u - 43)
just have a really good feeling about this one.

dal (-7) over ARI (o/u - 43.5)
minus the playoff debacle a few years ago, the cards haven't beat the good guys for the last 7-8 games.

tb (+9.5) over CAR (o/u - 37)
give up the points at home with the panthers.

money bets
damn it i really screwed myself last week with my wild ass betting. so eff it, let's end it all right now. i'm all in - give me everything i have the freakin' broncos. dammit, i hate gambling. all right kids, back to writing my comprehensive exam. see ya' next week.


bobby the gook season 3, week 9

howdy kids, just got back from seeing borat. solid enough movie, but not life changing by any means. think of it as jackass for the nerds. i give it a B. for whatever reason, however, i get really giggly whenever he pronounces the word anus as ah-NUS. but that's neither here nor there. anyways, it was an interesting week of football last week. because of the screwy relationship that central california has to the northern and southern california markets, i missed the best game in indy/den, but i did get to see the tony romo era get off to a rousing start. am i sold on the kid? not yet for this season, but next year will be the real test to see if the kids got a future as the most important position in the most important professional football franchise in america. seriously, before six years ago, the qb succession line went like this - roger staubach, danny white, troy aikman. good qbs don't come like they used to. anyways, last week, fredo and i pretty much tied, with me going 6-8 and fredo going 7-7. so i didn't make up any real ground, but i didn't lose any ground either. for the season, i'm sitting at 51-58-6 (.468) and fredo is at 63-44-6 (.578). a quick note, previously, i had been calculating the win-loss percentage by including the ties. i don't know why, but i realize that's stupid to count ties as a loss, so the percentages reflect that now. and even still, i'm more than ten percentage points behind fredo. that's a lot of gorund to make up in the next few weeks, but it's not out of reach yet. on the side however, it's still pretty interesting. i made 60 bucks on my bets bringing me to $1298 (-$132 on the year) and fredo ended up with only losing 5 bucks on the strength of a 4 team parlay, bringing him to $1325 (-$95 on the year). however, just to warn you, i'm going to go crazy this week with the money bets so get ready for a big shakeup in that respects.

erik rejoined the game last week and he posted a pathetic 5-9 record. but even better, in our fantasy league, he went from being 20 points up to losing in about the thirty minutes it took to play the fourth quarter of the cowboys game. let me tell you, that was lots of fun to watch with him. anyways, his season record is 33-33-5 (.500) and i'm catching up quickly at 32-35-5 (.478). he sucks. anyways, let's get on with it, numbers from caesar's and home team in caps.

kc (+2.5) over STL (o/u - 48)
herm edwards is telling people that he's going to go with trent green when he's ready to go next week. now i'm not a professional head coach or anything, but why would you do that when damon huard is playing so efficiently. i see big numbers for LJ this week as the chiefs roll in huard's swan song.

cin (+3) over BAL (o/u - 41)
this one doesn't feel great to me, but this is a must win for the bengals. lose and their season is over and nearly any decent team usually wins those games in the NFL. i'm underwhelmed by the bengals (although i did take the preseason under on these guys), but i can see them getting it together against a less than mediocre ravens offense.

hou (+13) over NYG (o/u - 43)
man alive, i'm apparently feeling really frisky taking all of these dogs on the road. i don't know, i hate the giants. i really can't tell with this big a number. i find that houston and the giants are tough teams for me to figure out, so i'm just gonna take the points.

ten (+9.5) over JAX (o/u - 37.5)
let's just keep the crazy train rolling with another road dog. i thought about this one alot and even though the jags look alot better with garrard under center, what i've seen from the titans is more than what i expected. maybe they don't win this game, but i just have a hunch that they make a game out of this.

dal (-3) over WAS (o/u - 41)
look, no one is happier that tony romo doesn't suck worse than say, jp losman. and to prove it, i'm going to take the boys even though, my usual thinking says that middle of the pack teams lose division games on the road.

gb (+3.5) over BUF (o/u - 40.5)
the question to ask here is why are the bills favored here. perhaps i'm on the wrong side of a trap here, but i can't imagine that anyone thinks that the bills are better than the packers. plus, i get to get back on the road dog crazy train here.

no (-1.5) over TAM (o/u - 38)
back off the train. i have a riddle for you. how many spleens does it take to be a terrible and overrated quarterback? zero. just as well that simms is out for the season, but gradkowski really isn't that much better. and that's saying something when you suck as much as simms did.

atl (-5.5) over DET (o/u - 47)
man i really need to take one of these home dogs here. anyways, michael vick has been making a play to regain my love and sexual desire by throwing 7 touchdowns over the last two weeks, but i gotta be honest with you, wild ass scrambling mike vick is much sexier than accurate pocket quarterback mike vick. something tells me i ought to take the lions here, but i'm willing to give mike vick another chance at my heart.

CHI (-13.5) over mia (o/u - 37.5)
i just read something crazy in bill simmons latest column a while ago. did you know that the dolphins haven't covered all year? 0-7 against the spread! that's just plain crazy. i find that more crazy than going 0-7 in real life. conventional wisdom says that almost every team ends up finishing somewhere around .500 against the spread, but the dolphins on the road against one of the top 3 teams in the NFL? forget it.

SFO (+5) over min (o/u - 42.5)
i'm cheating here a little bit since i originally liked minnesota here. fredo thinks they're overrated which might be true, especially after seeing them get carved up by the patriots last monday night. but the reason i'm taking them is so i can get at least one home dog on my side.

SD (-13) over cle (o/u - 41.5)
do you remember how football coming back to cleveland was such a feel good story? how people said that football "belongs" in cleveland and how the fans "deserve" a team? i'm really beginning to think that resurrecting the browns was a mistake. they've been around for about four years now, and they don't seem any better than they were year one. at least with the texans, i can say that there are a couple of really nice players on the team, but i can't think of one player on the browns that might start on another decent team. i think it's time we seriously consider moving the browns. seriously, why does ohio need two football teams? on a different note, at the beginning of the year before all the fantasy drafts, i was telling anyone who would listen that even though the conventional wisdom was the draft order should be 1. LJ, 2. shaun alexander, 3. LT, that LT is probably still the best player out of those three. johnson has come on in the past few weeks but LT has been consistently studly for about every week for about two years now.

den (+3) over PIT (o/u - 37)
everything about this line screams "trap". yet i can't bring myself to take the steelers. their season is over and i think the broncos will rebound after last week's tough loss. and seriously, the whole shanahan boggling fantasy owners minds with his running back workload distribution is pure evil genius. i hereby do solemnly swear that for the rest of my fantasy career, i will never ever draft a shanahan coached running back. if you're in vegas though, take the steelers. one more thing, fredo pointed out to me last week, how a lot of times in my picks, i have a curious habit of making a really good case for one team, and then just inexplicably taking the other. genius, i know. actually, evil genius, just like shanahan. but seriously, i can't even begin to tell you how this is so obviously a trap.

NE (-3) over ind (o/u - 49)
the line started at 0.5, which is kinda bad news for this pick. however, even though peyton won this game last year, the fact is he's 1-9 against brady and belichick. it's called playing the percentages, it's what good handicappers do. seriously, did you see how the broncos running game gashed the indy defense last week. i predict that both dillon and maroney will top 100 yards this week and i predict that it will only take maroney 10-12 carries to get there. do you hear that sound? i think that's the new england train pulling into the station again, and i don't want to miss it.

SEA (-7.5) over oak (o/u - 37)
yeah....i'm not going to get suckered in by the raiders. so don't you either. although it is seneca wallace and maurice morris starting for the seahawks....they can't be that bad though.

crazy betting time!
$100 - CHI
$100 - NE
$50 - KC-STL over
$25 - CHI-MIA over
$25 - SD

$25 parlay - CHI/NE/SD
$10 parlay - KC-STL over/CHI-MIA over/GB/DAL
$5 parlay - NE-IND under/SD-CLE over/GB-BUF under/DAL/CHI/NE <- this is so ridiculous.

your move alfredo, your move.


bobby the gook season 3, week 8

i know that the last two posts have been shitty, but like i said, life's been busy. i feel like i have a lot to say about the state of some teams today, so hopefully that'll kinda make up for it. i've gone back and figured out all of the records for fredo and i for the last two weeks and this is what we look like today. i'm 45-50-6 (.446) and fredo is 56-37-6 (.554). money wise, i lost 150 and then another 70 so i'm now at $1238 (-$192 on the year) and fredo lost 100 the first week for not making bets and then won 10 bucks last week thanks to a three team parlay. that puts him at $1330(-$100 on the year).i really don't know what to do about erik, so i just may disqualify him from the whole deal. erik needs to give me a good reason to keep keeping track of our side show. anyways, let's get on with it. home team in caps and numbers from caesar's.

TEN (-3) over hou (o/u - 41.5)
did anyone see the texans coming out and puttin' a whuppin' on the jags? i guess i should just say that is just how we texans do. not really, since i hate that team. however, i do like alot about the texans offense. especially the way andre johnson and david carr are playing with such inferior talent surrounding them. that defense, with your number #1 overall pick however, is still pretty bad and i can see them not really knowing how to contain the young/henry rushing express. plus tennessee is coming off the bye at home. i like the over a whole freaking lot here people.

PHI (-7) over jax (o/u - 40.5)
not that i am closing the book on the jags chances of making some noise in the playoffs, but if they lose this one, then the season is over for them. as for philly, the last time they got beat in a bad way (to the giants a few weeks ago), they responded with a good win against a quality opponent. i don't see anything different about this situation, and especially since they're at home, this seems like an easy pick. so i guess i am saying that the jags season is basically over.

CIN (-4) over atl (o/u - 44)
does anyone think that the NFL is not a better place with chad johnson running his mouth during the week? didn't think so. i know that michael vick had a "breakout" performance last week, but it seems to me that he has one of those every 4-5 games and then proceeds to spare everyone to death for a few weeks more. i want to...nay, i need to see that touchdown dance from CJ. it would also do my fantasy team some good as well.

NYG (+9.5) over tam (o/u - 40)
it's not that i think that the giants are any good. it's just that the gradkowski kid is going to a relatively tough place to play and as we all know, we shouldn't take crappy qbs on the road. the giants success this year completely maddens me by the way. i just don't see how they're going to keep this up.

sfo (+16) over CHI (o/u - 42)
admittedly, i don't like this pick a whole lot. the truly great teams always respond after lackluster performances, and i suppose that is entirely possible with the bears defense going against a bad team at home, but that's just a whole lot of points for a team that can move the ball pretty well.

ari (+3) over GB (o/u - 44.5)
the cards may have blown a game in an epic way against the bears two weeks ago, but they did cover the spread. i know that they're a mess, but i think that leinart can pull it together for his first win against a crappy team.

KC (pk) over sea (o/u - 38.5)
this one is off the board for some reason, so i'm just going to go with a pick 'em. do you like seneca wallace on the road? i don't either.

NO (-2) over bal (o/u - 37)
i'm beginning to think that there is some credence to the NFL conspiracy that won't let the saints lose at home.

SD (-10) over stl (o/u - 45.5)
just think, if someone not named marty shottenheimer were the coach of the chargers, they might be undefeated right now. the rams are a frisky team who will be challenging to pick against the spread for the rest of the way, but i just can't see the LT not having an epic day after last week's loss. like i said, the truly good teams always bounce back after tough losses and lackluster performances.

pit (-9) over OAK (o/u - 38.5)
the corollary to the truly good team theory is that truly bad teams always revert back to form after overperforming. granted, beating a cards team that was still a little bit on the ropes from a historic loss isn't exactly overperforming, but still they're the worst team in the league. however, i should say that i think that the steelers season is over. i'm starting to think that big ben should change his number to #13. he's supposed to start, but if i were the steelers, i'd make up some frak injury and put him on injured reserve so that he can work on getting his mojo back.

CLE (-2) over nyj (o/u - 37)
either there's some kind of injury for the jets that i'm unaware of or this is a trap. in either case, i don't want to be on the wrong end of this one.

ind (+3) over DEN (o/u - 39.5)
i must be crazy to take the colts against a possibly historic defense. but i just really can't buy that the broncos defense is going to be one of the great scoring defenses of all time when the only person who i think is really that good is champ baily. plus the broncos starting left guard matt lepsis is out which means dwight freeny has a carpool lane to captain kickass, jake the snake. pressure + plummer = lots of ints. one more thing: why oh why is joseph addai not starting yet? anyone who's watching can see that he's ten times better than dominic rhodes.

CAR (-5.5) over dal (o/u - 41)
bill simmons has this thing where he says take the panthers on the road and take the points at home which seems like a good theory, however, let's dissect the dallas cowboys situation a little shall we. last week, when parcells made the call and finally put romo in for bledsoe, i started to panic a little. the only conceivable way for this to work out is if romo threw 3 touchdowns and led the cowboys to an amazing victory. instead he crapped his pants and looked just terrible. i know it looked like the cowboys could move the ball a little better, but the important thing to take away from that loss is that romo is in no way ready to lead a team to the playoffs. in fact after the second int, i muttered to my roommate, "hell just put bledsoe in, it doesn't really matter anymore". this week, i imagine that there has been sports radio chaos. sports radio chaos is when there is a topic that is so polarizing and demoralizing to talk about for the sports radio shows that it drains the life out of all listeners. there is non stop second guessing of parcells, of jerry jones, and everything. the only thing that everyone can agree on is that the offensive line is terrible. no good can come out of sports radio chaos. parcells has started thinking about life after the cowboys and jerry is just fine with that since parcells hasn't done jack shit since his first season here. like i said before, the only possible way that romo was going to work was if he was tom brady and i think it's safe to say that he's no tom brady. i've been in a bad mood all week because of this: the cowboys season is over and they lose out to any team worth a damn the rest of the way. julius peppers is going to eat tony romo's spleen on sunday. bledsoe will probably end up having to come back in. do you see what i mean when i say that no good can come out of this situation?

before we get to the monday night game, let's talk a little bit about terell owens. fredo brought up the point that no matter what terell owens does on the sideline he's screwed. football is an emotional game and any number of players can be seen moving their hands excitedly while talking during the game. but according to all media, when terell owens does it, he's screaming. fredo brought up that this is actually somewhat racist, since if it were a white dude, he'd be praised for trying to fire up his team. even worse, if terell owens is sitting on the bench, not doing anything waiting to go back in, he is described as sulking. i'm not saying terell owens is a saint or anything, but for whatever reason, the media hates him. what is really bizarre about this whole thing is that the only people he's screwed over are other teammates. media people should love him for making their lives easier, but you get blowhards like joe theismann who can't stand it non-white players don't shut up and dance, so they villify him. terell owens is no worse than he was in his first few years in san francisco. and for the media to cover like they are, it's a hatchet job, plain and simple.

ne (-2) over MIN (o/u - 38.5)
this is a really good number. the patriots run seems to be coming together. besides which seems more likely to you? john madden going on and on about how good brady is and how the patriots are football par excellence or is more likely to be singing the praises of vikings defense. i'll take tom brady thank you very much.

bonus bets
$50 - KC
$25 - PHI
$50 - Ten-Hou over

$10 underdog parlay - SFO/NYG/ARI
$5 wild ass parlay - ne/ten-hou over/no/car/ind/sd


bobby the gook season 3, week 7

sorry this is so late. and it's going to be short. i've been awful busy and i still haven't figured out what to do about fredo not getting his picks in last week. i'll sort that out later. there's twenty minutes before the morning games kick off so i'm just gonna do my picks real quick and we'll discuss some of these issues later. home team in caps.

i just did my picks and i realized that i'm taking mostly favorites on the road. that seems like stupid idea. so i'm changing most of them to home dogs.
KC (+5) over sd (o/u - 39.5)
jax (-9) over HOU (o/u - 39)
BUF (+6) over ne (o/u - 36.5)
ATL (+3) over pit (o/u - 38)
MIA (-6) over gb (o/u - 40.5)
phi (-6) over TAM (o/u - 43)
NYJ (-4) over det (o/u - 43.5)
car (+3) over CIN (o/u - 44.5)
CLE (+5) over den (o/u - 31.5)
IND (-8.5) over was (o/u - 48)
min (+6.5) over SEA (o/u - 41)
OAK (+3) over ari (o/u - 40)
DAL (-3) over nyg (o/u - 45)

50 bucks on the eagles
50 bucks on carolina
$10 parlay jax/ind-was under/phi
$10 parlay jax/phil/nyj/dal

here are fredo's bets
green bay

$50 SD (-5.5)
$10 car/ne/den


random quick hits

i am seriously turning into the worst blogger of all time. what can i say, i've got a PhD to earn. i think we all see the writing on the wall. i've got some serious thinking to do about a hiatus after football season ends. if you have any feedback, please leave me a comment and i will promptly ignore it. anyways, here are some things worth mentioning.

1) steve lyons hates mexicans. this happened a while ago, but one of fox's play by play guys got fired because of some racially insensitive comments he made. here's what went down according to the toronto star:
In the second inning of Friday's game between Detroit and Oakland, Piniella talked about the success light-hitting A's infielder Marco Scutaro had in the first round of the playoffs. Piniella said that slugger Frank Thomas and Eric Chavez needed to contribute, comparing Scutaro's production to finding a "wallet on Friday" and hoping it happened again the next week.

Later, Piniella said the A's needed Thomas to get "en fuego" - hot in Spanish - because he was currently "frio" - or cold. After Brennaman praised Piniella for being bilingual, Lyons spoke up.

Lyons said that Piniella was "hablaing Espanol" - butchering the conjugation for the word "to speak" - and added, "I still can't find my wallet."

"I don't understand him, and I don't want to sit too close to him now," Lyons continued.
to make things stranger, piniella has attempted to defend lyons, saying that the joke was misconstrued. i'm sure ian, our resident journalism correspondent will have something to say, but here's the deal. there is a good possibility that is was a misconstrued joke. and there's a good chance that lyons probably isn't a racist. however, in these times, how could you be so bad a broadcaster to say something like that. there are plenty of examples of borderline cases, but i feel that this exchange definitely goes beyond the cateogry of borderline. if you need to be funny then fine, be funny, but to say something like that right after brennaman got done praising piniella for being bilingual is just not something i think a good broadcaster can do.

the great part of all of this is that lyons was horrible anyways, so now we only have to deal with tim mccarver's banality and incoherence on fox. will someone at fox just pay 1 million dollars to tony gwynn or someone who can bring something to the table please?

in related news, lyons also works as a part time broadcaster for the dodgers, and in their infinite wisdom have decided to retain his services. and the dodgers' brass wonder why latinos in LA have turned on them in favor of the angels.

2) U2 is launching some kind of wacky internet scavenger hunt/publicity stunt. i hate to say it, but moves like this really make me think that U2's relevance is coming to an end. what really sucks is that i had a little faith after their appearance in the leonard cohen documentary, I'm Your Man (which is pretty great by the way), but this coupled with their horrible horrible, horrible...i can't stress horrible enough here people...collaboration with green day. a new single from their new album is due out in november, so let's hope that it's better than this crap.

3) giving credence to my roommate's theory that the sun never sets on phil collins, genesis is planning a reunion tour. which is actually something that i would be quite interested in seeing. however, my guess is that like all concerts, tickets will be unaffordable. i wonder if they'll be able to work in a prog-rock version of against all odds.

4) seriously, humans suck...

5) ...but sometimes sports don't. go tigers.


bobby the gook season 3, week 6

i'm still trying to get my head over this cory lidle thing. i mean seriously, cory lidle was the definition of mediocre athlete. 7 teams in 9 years. yet he dies in a horrific accident and the networks can't get enough of it. granted he spiced up the whole deal by crashing a plane into a building in the post 9/11 era, but i can't help but think that if he weren't a new york yankee, the media just wouldn't give a damn. anyways, it's just as well, as it was a slow week for our little game here. there were three pushes last week, which may not seem like a lot, but in terms of this game, where fredo and i only end up disagreeing on a handful of teams, it makes all the difference. both fredo and i went 6-5-3 last week. so if those three pushes are different by one point, either of us could have been 9-5 or 6-8. in any case, no ground made up for me, but on a positive note, fredo and i came in third this week in our local pool and won fifty bucks. good times. anyways, on the season, fredo is 44-26-5 (.587), while i am 34-36-5 (.453). erik beat us both (i can't explain it) and went 7-4-3. so in that matchup, erik is 28-24-5 (.491) and i'm 26-27-5 (.448).

fredo went really nuts in the vegas portion of the game and ended up pulling $250 out of his ass by wagering 300 bucks on the broncos at the last second, to not only get out of the red but also to win a bunch of money. this after three previous rounds of betting to make up for his poor initial bets. fredo made 1000 bucks worth of bets and only came out ok on his very last bet. which leads me to think that fredo is not taking this part very seriously, since we would never bet so much in order to try and get in the black. maybe we'd bet enough to break even, but we'd never ever bet 300 bucks on the monday night game right before we leave vegas. so i'm going to apply a new rule, a spending limit. we are limited to 200 bucks a week. to reiterate, we must wager at least 100 dollars, but no more than 200 dollars. if fredo wants to go crazy and bet on the sunday or monday night game, he can, but he can't go apeshit and try to make up with pretend money. anyways, i broke just plain even. so on the year, i've still got $1458 (+$28 on the year), while fredo is at 1670 (+240) on the year. i'll go ahead and let him keep his ill gotten gains from last week, but from now on, 200 bucks is the limit. anyways, let's get started on the picks, i've got a busy weekend ahead of me and i need to knock these out. as always, point spreads and over/unders from caesar's and home team in caps.

CORRECTION (10/13/06, 5:30PM) - i'm terrible at math apparently and fredo actually didn't make any money as he broke even as well. so that puts him at 1420(-$10) on the year. i also did some thinking and decided that putting a cap on wagers doesn't make sense. so i'm just going to mandate that all wagers be in before the start of the sunday night game, which is usually 5:15PM PDT.

cin (-5.5) over TAM (o/u - 43)
that gradowski kid looked ok last week as tampa covered the spread. however, his name is still gradowski and he was just playing an ordinary saints defense that needed a punt return for a td from reggie bush to pull it out. never take crappy qb's on the road, and even though this is a home game for the bucs, cinnci is coming off the bye and they really needed it for chad johnson to get completely right.

WAS (-10.5) over ten (o/u - 39)
it's tempting to take the titans after they played the colts so tough last week and washington looked so bad. however, the more i think about it, the more i think that the titans really just suck and their defense just caught the colts on a bad day and i think that their offense had about as good of a day as it can have. the line started at 9, so i'm inclined to think i'm right about this one.

DAL (-12.5) over hou (o/u - 43)
i don't want to talk about it.

DET (+1) over buf (o/u - 40)
this could go either way, but the way i figure it, the lions aren't so bad that they'll go 0-6. although i have to say that this is the best chance they have for a win so they better make the most of it.

sea (-3) over STL (o/u - 45)
i really don't have a clue on this one. and i know i should take the points, but here are my arguments. first, the rams are overachieving while the seahawks are underachieving, and i think that things will balance out this week. second, hasselbeck has had a couple of weeks to figure stuff out with deion branch. third, the rams are on a three game winning streak and seriously, that seems to be about the ceiling of what a team of their talent can do. lastly, the rams win last week was very iffy and were it not for brett favre being 74 years old, they might have lost to a bad packers team.

ATL (-3) over nyg (o/u - 42)
the giants play the run pretty well (86.5 ypg, 9th in the NFL) but the falcons defend it even better (69.3 ypg, 2nd in the NFL). this is going to be a pretty low scoring affair and the falcons are at home so i'll take mike vick.

phi (-3.5) over NO (o/u - 46.5)
seriously, i'm not going to talk about it.

car (+3) over BAL (o/u - 33.5)
i think that this is the week that the panthers start to show that this might be their year while i think that mcnair is going to continue to regress. i'm not sure if billick has pulled jamal lewis out of the starting lineup, but he should.

NYJ (-2) over mia (o/u - 36)
the dolphins will be better with harrington under center, but crappy qb on the road...as they say in new york, fuggedaboutit.

sd (-10) over SFO (o/u - 42.5)
i'm ready to admit defeat in my prediction about the chargers. they're looking awesome and will probably make it to the AFC championship game. fredo and i can hopefully put this ugly chapter of our relationship behind us and be BFF again. LT is going to go buckwild against the niners.

kc (+7) over PIT (o/u - 36.5)
i don't like this pick a whole lot. who knows what damon huard is going to be like on the road. but i don't think that pittsburgh as currently constituted is a whole touchdown better than the chiefs.

DEN (-15) over oak (o/u - 36.5)
vegas finally got an oakland point spread right. i know that's a lot of points, but on the road, against a clearly superior in every way (even at qb) there's no way the raiders cover.

chi (-11) over ARI (o/u - 39)
leinart looked just fine last week even though the cards lost. however, that bears defense is pretty effing awesome. leinart is a rookie after all, and unless he's captain america, i just don't think leinart is going to be able to get anything going against the bears. as we said last week, why would we stop riding this gravy train?

i'm pretty tired right now, so i'll get my money picks in later.