bobby the gook season 3, week 17

well, here it is folks, the last week of the season and what better way to mourn/celebrate the death of james brown, gerald ford, and saddam hussein then picking football games! it just goes to show you, that the sports/entertainment complex has us so thoroughly distracted that we (meaning me) could really give a crap about the supreme irony of the execution of one of the world's most notorious dictators being used as a distraction for one of the worst military quagmires since vietnam. don't get me wrong, i appreciate the irony, i just don't give a crap cuz there are over 200 different NFL playoff scenarios still possible in this last week that i need to think about so that i can win imaginary money on my virtual soapbox. it's depressing isn't it. anyways, even more depressing is how both fredo and i fared last week. fredo went 6-10, while i didn't do much better at 7-9. erik as always sucked too, going 6-10. what isn't depressing is how much ass i kicked in the vegas round. i won $320, while fredo, despite going crazy with his bets still lost 60 bucks. here are the standings.

Bob vs. Fredo
season record
Winning Pct.
Vegas Round

Bob vs. Erik
season record
Winning Pct.

it's amazing how fredo is 32 games above five hundred, and equally amazing that erik is virtually guaranteed a losing season, just like a certain midwestern-leonine-mascotted-professional-football-team is every year. anyways, this week's board is pretty tough and given the fact that underdogs have ruled the year, expect lots of dogs from me and fredo. the main thing to look for however, is that i need to at least tread water to finish above .500, which is all i really am hoping for. let's finish this. home team in caps and numbers from caesars.

nyg (-2.5) over WAS (o/u - 42.5)
i hate myself for taking the giants. they are a disaster in every sense of the word. eli does suck, tiki's retirement was a distraction, and coughlin did lose control of his team. but the redskins are still the redskins. seriously, daniel snyder was trying so hard to be the ultimate evil genius combo of mark cuban and jerry jones that you know he's gotta be looking to sell the team at this point. the worse part of this is that if the giants win, they'll almost guarantee themselves a playoff berth.

BAL (-9.5) over buf (o/u - 35)
it's tough to take such big favorites, and despite the bills showing some signs of life late this season, i think that with home field still a possibility for the ravens, that they'll take care of business at home.

CIN (-6) over pit (o/u - 44.5)
this game troubles me. on the one hand, i think that the steeler's secondary isn't going to be able to handle chad johnson and carson palmer. on the other hand, bill cowher is the kind of coach that can probably actually convince his team to play for pride and all of that kind of mumbo jumbo. still i just think that the bengals are a better team, and are at least a touchdown better than the steelers.

DAL (-13) over det (o/u - 44)
i have a couple of theories working here. first, the cowboys are the kind of team to kick total ass the last week to give me false hope for the playoffs. they really blew it last week in the loss to the eagles. the really bad thing about it was i knew from the very beginning of last week that the cowboys would lose that game. just goes to show you that coaches are extremely overrated. but bad management trumps bad coaching, and the detroit lions are the single most mismanaged sports team in football. i see multiple defensive scores for the cowboys in this one.

HOU (-4) over cle (o/u - 38.5)
wouldn't it be awesome if somehow the loser of this game was forced to fold its franchise? this game makes me like football a little less.

IND (-9) over mia (o/u - 42)
i find it amusing that saban is rumored to be leaving for the alabama job after the season. this after two years of football scribes fellating him for putting together two sub-.500 teams. why is it that people love hard ass white coaches. it's like they yearn for the day when older white authority figures kept black people in line with disciplinary tactics such as firehoses or lynchmobs. the crazy thing is that for the same reasons, you would think that they would also love laid back black coaches like art shell or lovie smith, but they don't. shell sucks so that's no big deal, but lovie smith, how can you not think this guy is a genius.

kc (-2.5) over JAX (o/u - 36.5)
jack del rio = nick saban lite.

stl (-2.5) over MIN (o/u - 44)
let's take a minute to appreciate how badly the rams have fallen off since their super bowl win all those years ago. they had probably the best offense in the history of the NFL, and now i think that there are maybe two or three of those guys left in place. maybe if kurt warner doesn't hurt his thumb, then maybe it is the rams who might have played the role that the patriots ended up playing.

car (-3) over NO (o/u - 37)
still taking the panthers on the road, plus i'd be really surprised to see drew brees play more than two series.

oak (+12) over NYJ (o/u - 34)
part of me wants to say that the raiders lay the biggest stinkbomb to put an exclamation on one of the worst seasons ever for a once-storied franchise, but that's just too many points for a mediocre jets team.

atl (+8) over PHI (o/u - 43)
i would have taken the eagles earlier in the week when they were -6.

TB (-3) over sea (o/u - 36.5)
i guess that the seahawks are resting starters? who cares, there's no way in hell the seahawks get out of the wildcard game. parity is a cruel mistress.

TEN (-3) over ne (o/u - 43)
at this rate, the titans might never lose a game while vince young is playing. but seriously, what do the patriots have to play for?

DEN (-10.5) over sfo (o/u - 38)
the broncos got completely lucky last week, but that's the kind of thing that actually really helps the broncos i think. cutler has another win under his belt to boost his confidence, and home field of course helps. it also helps that the niners are still a wide reciever, a quarterback, and half a defense from being any good.

SD (-14) over ari (o/u - 44)
the only thing that worries me about this game is that it will be over by half time. but the chargers have been pretty awesome against the spread this year.

gb (-3) over CHI (o/u - 36)
what i hate about this game is how everyone is trying to play it up as brett favre's last game, when i'm willing to bet anything that he'll be back next year. certainly, he breaks marino's all-time td record next season. it almost doesn't make any sense for him retire. nobody remembers jordan half assing it with the wizards, and no one remembers willie mays sucking ass with the mets. people do however, remember how awesome their career numbers were.

money bets coming later, but expect both fredo and i to kick it up a notch here in the last week of the season. i'm planning on making at least 1000 bob bucks worth of bets and i'm pretty sure that we'll see fredo bet the farm and then some to try and catch up.


bobby the gook season 3, week 16

and down the homestretch we come. i tell you, in terms of the whole year, i'm more confused as i've ever been about who the good teams and the bad teams are. here is a list of teams that i think are legitimate contenders to win the super bowl. san diego and chicago, and really, chicago is just a rex grossman meltdown from being a one and done team. every other team may as well be the dillon panthers as far as i'm concerned. while it makes for an exciting end to the season, it sure does make for a bunch of uninspiring possibilities for the playoffs. i mean the eagles are still in this thing, even after losing their best two players from last year. how is this possible? and how is this a good thing? it all just goes to show you that there are probably too many teams in the league right now. i've beat this drum before, but with the realization that the houston texans passed up on reggie bush, i think it's safe to say that their presence along with the browns only hurts the league. can anyone name anything positive that comes with having the browns or the texans. contraction is the best idea for this league right now. anyways, time to step down from my soapbox to inform you that i totally kicked everyone's freakin' ass last week. i went a sterling 12-4 against a tough slate. fredo meanwhile has his first really really bad week of the season and clocked in at 6-10. erik, as usual brought up the rear and finished 4-11. not only did he stink up my blog for another week, he also forgot to pick the ten/jax game. seriously, do i have to keep track of his picks anymore. despite my good week, i'm probably too far behind to catch fredo in the overall standings. however, two things to note. i finally cracked .500 which does wonders for my ego. second and more importantly, i did really well in the vegas round last week winning 450 bucks including a $120 parlay while fredo lost $250. i think this is of interest because if i know my good friend fredo at all, my guess is that we will get to see a flurry of crazy bets and parlays. if there's ever a time where fredo's clutch gambling ability will be tested, it is now. lastly, i'm also close to being even in the vegas round which would also make me and my ego fairly happy after such a lousy start to the season. anyways, here are the current standings.

Bob vs. Fredo
season record
Winning Pct.
Vegas Round

Bob vs. Erik
season record
Winning Pct.

i'm in texas with the parentals right now, so i'm stuck in dial-up internet access hell. these picks are probably going to really suck since i haven't had any real chance to do any kind of research, but as always, numbers from caesar's, home team in caps.

GB (-3.5) over min (o/u - 37)
it's always good to see a young good looking black quarterback with a cool name like tavarius to get the start for the vikes, but it seems that the packers are playing a little harder in case brett favre dies in the next two games. by the way, i have this theory that the packers are completely unconcerned about winning and are going to do whatever they can do to get brett favre the 8 tds he needs to break marino's record. that way, he'll retire and they can finally start trying to rebuild.

kc (-7) over OAK (o/u - 36)
the chiefs fighting for their playoff lives coupled with an oakland team that has packed it in for the winter spells larry johnson scoring a whole lot. something that is also important about this game is that it is a lot of league's championship week. and i think if you're still alive and have larry johnson going against LT, i think you have a pretty decent chance.

BUF (-4.5) over ten (o/u - 36.5)
i could go either way here. both of these teams seem like they have young qbs that are incrementally figured it out. so i figured i'd just take the home team with the better defense. but on the other hand, i can totally see that vince young got his bad game out of his system last week and they still freaking won. maybe he's got a horseshoe shoved up his ass, but i'd stay away from this one if i were you.

no (+3) over NYG (o/u - 47.5)
strahan is back so that worries me. actually, a lot of things about this game worries me. new orleans has clinched their division and the giants are the desperate team. however, i think that the saints are still gunning hard for that first round bye.

ATL (-6.5) over car (o/u - 42)
with or without weinke, the panthers are hands down the most disappointing team of the year. i heard john clayton say it on sportscenter, "the panthers have lost their identity," which i couldn't have siad better myself. last year, they had a great running game with a game breaking wide receiver and suffocating defense. this year, they're just inconsistent.

was (+2.5) over STL (o/u - 43)
ummmmm...this is another game that i have no idea about so i'll just take the points.

ind (-9.5) over HOU (o/u - 47.5)
i'm really surprised that this line isn't up to 13 or 14 yet. i can't remember the last time the texans covered against the colts.

bal (+3.5) over PIT (o/u - 36)
similar situation to the saints where the ravens have clinched the division and are unlikely to improve on their playoff seeding with the colts and the chargers ahead of them. that said, i don't know if mcnair is going or not. either way, i think that big ben is going to have a bad day against the ravens defense.

tb (+3) over CLE (o/u - 36)
no idea. taking the points.

DET (+4.5) over chi (o/u - 42)
no idea, but i figure that with chicago having sewn up homefield, and with detroit at home, that maybe we have a super low scoring game. seriously, i hate picking games at the end of the season.

ne (+2.5) over JAX (o/u - 37)
don't know about this line, but i freakin' nailed that jags pick last week. anyways, i'll reiterate, the jags are not for real and they probably won't beat the pats who i think are still probably a legit playoff contender.

SFO (-4.5) over ari (o/u - 45.5)
is the NFC west crazy or what. it looks like 8-8 is going to win that division. and with last weeks win over the seahawks, man why wouldn't the niners be the favorite?

cin (+3) over DEN (o/u - 44.5)
i don't like picking against the broncos at home, but did you guys see the bengals game last week. peyton was fantastic in that game. i mean seriously, there was nothing that the bengals could do. jay cutler is no peyton manning.

sd (-5) over SEA (o/u - 46.5)
i waffled on this one a lot. one the one hand, it seems like the chargers are due for a letdown and that the seahawks are a more desperate team. but the chargers still haven't clinched homefield for the playoffs yet, so they'll keep the heat coming. and the seahawks will have blown winning the worst division in football.

phi (+7) over DAL (o/u - 46.5)
i am envisioning a much closer game than vegas does. as i've said before, i fear the eagle. the cwoboys defense hasn't been all that lately, but i think that big bill will get the troops together and get them to play better. but i think that this will be a low scoring affair with the cowboys winning by 4 or 5.

MIA (-2.5) over nyj (o/u - 36.5)
seriously, was there really any need to schedule another christmas day game? whatever.

ok, that's it for now folks. i'll get the money bets in a little later. hope everyone has a nice xmas.


bobby the gook season 3, week 15

i think it's time we took some time to acknowledge the season that fredo is having. last fredo extended his streak of double digits wins to three by going a more than stellar 12-4. even after getting 11 games the previous two weeks he somehow managed to actually improve last week. the downside to this is that yours truly went 11-5 and lost ground. not that it matters cuz right now, fredo is just like the san diego chargers and LT, we know they're going to win alot, but we're just sticking around now to see how many touchdowns he can score. erik on the other hand is letting his true sorry colors show and finished in a distant third with only 9 wins. but i can't talk much since he ended my fantasy season last week. eff him. anyways, i'm getting closer to .500 which is the goal for me right now. on the other hand, the money round is getting a little more interesting as i managed to make $220 last week, while fredo only made $80, most of it on a three team parlay. anyways, here are the standings.

Bob vs. Fredo
season record
Winning Pct.
Vegas Round

Bob vs. Erik
season record
Winning Pct.

anyways, let's get on with it since there's a game in about three hours.

SEA (-9.5) over sfo (o/u - 38)
the niners aren't looking so hot these days, but neither do the seahawks. the seahawks are most definitely a better team and i'm just guessing that the hawks roll at home here. also, how crappy must it be for shaun alexander to only have one of the glamour records, most touchdowns in a season, for not even a full year. man LT is good.

dal (-3.5) over ATL (o/u - 43)
this one makes me nervous because despite the debaucle of last sunday night, the falcons are still the more desperate team. they aren't in charge of their division, so they really need to win out to make it. however, i'm hoping that parcells and his big FUPA can straighten out the cowboys and make them realize that they pretty much need to win out to win the division. so that makes them desperate in their own way. on a personal note, i'm getting a little nervous with how well the eagles are playing. also, saturday games are completely stupid.

nyj (+3) over MIN (o/u - 41)
i actually think that the jets are the better team, but i fear the mini-trap here. at the same time, i guess i could be getting sucked in by their win last week against the lions. actually, i'm changing my original pick, gimme the jets.

BAL (-11) over cle (o/u - 34)
this is the time of the year where we start to see more blowouts. ravens at home, a terrible browns offense, and a quarterback i've never ever heard of...seems easy enough.

NE (-12) over hou (o/u - 37)
again, the end of year blowout theory + the fact that i nailed the new england pick last year. i think that tom brady is just too good to play that poorly two weeks in a row. throw in the fact that david carr is playing on the road, outside, etc....well you get the picture.

mia (+1.5) over BUF (o/u - 34.5)
perhaps it is unwise to take the warm weather team on the road, but miami's defense just seems completely dominant right now. on the other hand, willis mcgahee is looking real good these days. in other words, i have no idea, so gimme the points.

pit (-3) over CAR (o/u - 39)
go against the panthers at home.

was (+10) over NO (o/u - 45)
this is going against the late season blowout theory, but i think the saints will let down a little after last weeks great game, and maybe the skins can show some signs of life now that there is no pressure on them at all.

TEN (+3.5) over jax (o/u - 41)
you wanna pick against the great vince young right now? me neither. and let's not forget how bad the jaguars can be. this is a team built for inconsistency, and they've been good the last two weeks, so i expect them to regress back to the mean here.

CHI (-13.5) over tam (o/u - 33.5)
blowout theory. however, as always, beware the rex. it's weird how everyone seems to be saying that the rex grossman thing is not an issue anymore. but he didn't have that great a game last week. all the same, the buccs are el stinko.

phi (+5.5) over NYG (o/u - 43.5)
no i don't think that the eagles are better off with jeff garcia, but still, i kinda fear the eagles. again, i'm not sure where all the talk about the giants solving their problems is coming from, after all, they only beat chris weinke last week.

GB (-5) over det (o/u - 43.5)
erik seems to say that it's real easy to run on the lions, but i think that brett favre is going to make a lot of progress towards marino's all time td record. i should probably take the points here, but detroit is pretty bad.

DEN (-3) over ari (o/u - 41.5)
i'm pleased with matt leinart's progress. but i just think that this late in the season, with as much on the line for the broncos, shanahan will have a good enough game plan to show the cards that they still have a ways to go.

SD (-8.5) over kc (o/u - 46.5)
man i'm taking a lot of favorites. not good. but seriously, 29 touchdowns with three games left + 2 passing tds. i don't think it is a stretch to say that LT's season is the single most dominant statistical year that i've ever seen in my lifetime.

stl (+2.5) over OAK (o/u - 38)
again, i'm not real happy with this game. is st. louis that bad? maybe, but why are the raiders any of a smarter pick? i'll take the points.

IND (-3) over cin (o/u - 54)
this can't be a good pick. in fact, everything i can come up with says that the bengals will just let rudi run wild over the colts. i know i used this logic last week, but can the colts be this bad for this long of a stretch? it's clear that they are a one and done playoff team, but they can't be so bad as to lose 4 out of 5? maybe i'm completely wrong, but i coulda sworn that peyton was playing his ass off before this last few games. whatever you do, don't base your own pick on mine cuz i have no confidence in this pick whatsoever.

again, i'll get the money bets down later.


sports quick hits

1) the duke rape case is starting to fall apart. i don't know the specifics of prosecuting a rape case, but it would seem to me that when you find the DNA of other guys and not the DNA of anyone on the team on the accuser, you would not be able to convict beyond a shadow of a doubt. very unfortunate situation. i was one of those people who said that duke lacrosse players were getting a free pass because they were white, but it turns out they are probably not guilty. however, that doesn't change my opinion that lacrosse is the province of privileged kids and that alcohol is a gigantic issue in college sports and college in general that no one really wants to do anything about.

2) more title IX stuff. a while back, i wrote about a girls high school basketball coach who was fired for asking for some practice time in the nice gym (can't find the link, sorry). anyways, the court went to the supreme court and lo and behold, he freakin' won! it's a step in the right direction. but if you're interested i suggest you read the linked article, because things were a lot worse than i thought they would be.

3) joey porter apologizes to kellen winslow jr for calling him a "fag". seriously, between mel gibson, kramer, rosie o'donnell and this, it befuddles me whenever people think i talk about race too much.


rosie o'donnell is a 'hippo'-crite

ha ha get it! hippo? you know, cuz she's fat, and not funny. it's not so nice when the name calling is directed at you now is it rosie. anyways, for those of you who haven't heard yet, rosie o'donnell is a big fat hypocrite. i know you all knew about the big and fat part, but i'm talking about the hypocrite part. in case you didn't hear, she did some racist shtick on that stupid show, the view the other day. it's not as if i didn't already hate rosie o'donnell, but this just really rachets up the level of hatred to a new level. i now hate her more than mike krzyzewski, but less than scott stapp. this youtube video sums up my feelings nicely.

seriously, the view is the single worst show on television today. try to think of a worse show...you can't think of one can you? anyways, now it is the single worst racist show on television today.

p.s. the really crazy thing about this is that the youtube video is by michelle malkin, a crazy right wing asian political pundit (think anne coulter lite, except much hotter) that usually gives my people a bad name. but i got to give her props here, cuz she nailed it (except for saying that rosie is a leading voice of the left...she's certainly not this lefty's leader).


bobby the gook season 3, week 14

for all intensive purposes, this season is over. fredo has demolished me and currently holds a 21 game lead over my sorry ass. what can i say, i'm just not a good gambler anymore. which is just as well. this was the first fall in about 5 years where i didn't make a couple of trips to vegas, so i guess if i want to look on the bright side, i saved a whole lot of money on car insurance, i mean gambling debts. anyways, last week was pretty emblematic of my whole season. i went a slightly less than mediocre 6-9, while fredo simply shined with an 11-4 record. so fredo, like dirk diggler in boogie nights, "you've got the touch!"*. erik on the other hand, is showing his true idiot colors as he managed to go 5-10. what a loser! in the money round, i actually had an ok day as i won sixty bucks on the strength of my two over under bets (nailed it!). fredo with his crazy ass betting almost did ok. as i was adding up his bets, at one point he was up $140, but after all was said and done, he was -$70 on the week. however, i should mention that fredo hit a three leg over/under parlay, so mad props to fred for that. anyways, here are the standings.

Bob vs. Fredo
season record
Winning Pct.
Vegas Round

Bob vs. Erik
season record
Winning Pct.

as you can see, erik is hanging on by the slimmest of margins. i suspect if he had picked the game that he missed, we'd be tied right now. seriously, major league A-1 certified loser. anyways, on with the show, home team in caps, and numbers from caesars.

PIT (-7) over cle (o/u - 33)
is it possible that the browns can cover two weeks in a row, and even more importantly, can they do it on the road? hines ward is still out, but receiver ain't the problem. seriously, has there ever been a super bowl team that has been this bad the next season. i blame terry bradshaw.

bal (+3) over KC (o/u - 36)
this line seems weird to me, especially how good the ravens are against the run. trent green had a nice game last week, but seriously, eff him. there's no way i think he can do it two weeks in a row.

ATL (-3.5) over tb (o/u - 38)
i really should roll with the home dog here, but i feel that atlanta has been really good on the road. i think that the falcons seize control of the wild card race here. and then after the game, mike vick goes to mons venus and gives all the dancers herpes after the game.

min (+1.5) over DET (o/u - 38.5)
how in the world did detroit pull last week's performance out of their ass? i mean sure they ended up blowing it and losing, but they more than covered the spread of 13.5 points. that really was too many points, and i'm an idiot for not taking them last week. that said, there's just no way in hell that i would take the lions as a favorite. and erik is a loser.

ten (+1.5) over HOU (o/u - 41.5)
this lines perplexes me. the titans beat one of the best teams in the NFL and yet their dogs at the freakin' texans. trap? i don't know, i'm just a caveman. i don't understand your complicated games of chance. but what i do know is that my fantasy team is about to ride vince young to a league championship. seriously, vince young looks to me like he's starting to figure out this NFL. he has the air of a super bowl doug williams about him, where everything he does just turns to gold.

nyg (pk) over CAR (o/u - n/a)
this line is off the board everywhere i've checked. i'm not really sure what is going on, but in a battle of extremely mediocre teams that are fighting for a playoff spot, i'll take the giants. i just think that they're going to end up at the wildcard, if for no other reason just to piss me off for the season as i am forced to care about the outcome of giants game for the sake of the cowboys winning the division. which leads us to....

DAL (-7) over no (o/u - 47.5)
for those of you who haven't seen the highlights, at the end of the game, with the score tied and time running out and deep in giants territory, romo takes the snap, scrambles left to avoid the rush, and then throws the most perfect 40 yard pass to jason witten who had one step on the corner and had the safety bearing down on him. it was in all seriousness, the definition of the perfect pass. i turned to erik and said, "that is a major league throw". it got me thinking about which qb's that are currently in the NFL that have a good chance of making that same throw. this is the list that i came up with in order of probability of making that play: tom brady, donavan mcnabb, carson palmer, drew brees, mike vick. and those last two are reaches. the point is, of course it is too early to anoint tony romo the next tom brady. but i simply cannot see how anyone can look at this kid and not think that he's going to be a really good qb.

buf (+4) over NYJ (o/u - 37)
eric mangini may be the next nick saban in that he is the coach that everyone refuses to say might not be good. one win against the packers and pundits are all penciling the jets in for a playoff spot. i'm not buying.

ind (-1.5) over JAX (o/u - 44)
the jags are the desperate team here, so beware, but i just don't think it is possible for a team like the colts to lose 3 out of 4.

WAS (+1) over phi (o/u - 40)
andy reid is another coach who is regularly fellated by writers and tv people. i'm not saying he's bad, but in at least two of the four NFC championship games, he was badly outcoached. they beat a terrible panthers team and everyone wants to say how reid is keeping things together. not that washington is great or anything, but this seems like a good place to take the home dog.

oak (+11) over CIN (o/u - 40)
lesson learned, not taking favorites for more than 10 points again.

MIA (+3.5) over ne (o/u - 37)
i'm not saying that i think that the patriots suck. they're pretty good this year, but clearly, they've regressed from their salad days. in years past, this was a game that you were absolutely sure that the pats would take care of business, but they've lost a couple of games like that already this season, and this seems like another case where this happens again.

gb (+4) over SFO (o/u - 44)
remember in the nineties when this was a great freakin' game? me neither. the crazy thing is that brett favre was the quarterback then as well. ughhh, gimme the points.

sea (-3.5) over ARI (o/u - 45.5)
i don't know about this one so i should take the points, but i just feel that i might be getting sucked in by the cards beating a crappy rams team last week.

SD (-7.5) over den (o/u - 42.5)
it's a pretty big spread, but jay cutler on the road against a real good defense? forget it. by the way, i was so freakin' right about him. fredo brought up a good point in that he went to freakin' vanderbilt. how could anyone think that this was going to work out this season.

chi (-6.5) over STL (o/u - 40.5)
i have rex grossman on both of my fantasy teams. he has screwed me in so many different ways this year that i'm actually starting to question my sexuality. so like i said, i'm playing vince young in my playoff game with erik, the biggest loser of all time, so naturally, grossman is going to throw for three TDs and 400 yds on monday night.

it's late, so i'll get my money picks in a little later. go cowboys!

* i've never really noticed it before, but john c. reilly really turns in a fantastic performance during the recording session scenes of boogie nights.


bobby the gook season 3, week 13

last week, in our real-life pool, the guy in charge did a real douchebag thing and changed from picking against the spread to having to pick winners. as a result, fredo and i got effed in the a, as we only got 8 games, while picking against the spread both of us got at least 10. the only reason i bring this up is that picking against the spread is an entirely different animal from picking winners. conventional wisdom would say that picking winners is easier than against the spread, but we've gotten so good at picking against the spread, picking winners seems like just a foreign thing to me these days, hence explaining our poor performance in the real life pool. anyways, last week, i went 10-5 and fredo went 11-4, so no real change in the standings. although fredo did pick the thursday night game correctly, while i sucked the big one and picked the freakin' ravens. erik went 10-5 as well, so no real change this week in those standings and got the cinci game right as well. a couple of things about this week. fredo says that football outsiders say that blowouts are much more likey in weeks 1-4 and in weeks 13-17, so seemingly, taking the dog with a lot of points in not as safe as it was last week. we both skipped out on the money betting, and seeing how it was thanksgiving and all, let's just call last week a holiday and we'll just start the money betting again. second, this is the last week of the regular season for both of my fantasy leagues. i need to win in both leagues to make the playoffs, so needless to say, it's a big football weekend for me. anyways, here are the standings.

Bob vs. Fredo
season record
Winning Pct.
Vegas Round

Bob vs. Erik
season record
Winning Pct.

home team in caps, and point spreads from caesars.

CHI (-9.5) over min (o/u - 35)
i hate leaving this many points on the table, but after chicago's first loss, they rebounded well. and what do the vikings have? i really need rex grossman to do well if i'm to have any chance in fantasy as well.

tb (+7.5) over PIT (o/u - 41)
seriously, big ben has been playing worse than leftwich and vick combined, yet nobody is calling him a coach killer. i wonder why. anyways, i'm just following the rule that when you don't have a good idea, take the points.

ari (+6.5) over STL (o/u - 46)
seriously, matt leinart is playing really well, as i predicted at the beginning of the season. the rams' defense sucks just enough to let matt leinart start his legacy as captain comeback here.

ind (-7.5) over TEN (o/u - 46.5)
i was pretty impressed by vince young last week. it was hard to say how good he would be in the NFL, but if we see anything resembling his fourth quarter in this game, i think it is safe to say that he'll be pretty good. that being said, everyone and their mom is taking the titans because of last week and because they nearly beat the colts last time out. so i'm inclined to go the other way.

MIA (-1) over jax (o/u - 35.5)
with as well as they've been playing, why would anyone pick against the dolphins at this point. why would anyone take the jags for that matter. what a pretender the jags turned out to be.

NO (-7) over sfo (o/u - 46)
the saints on the other hand seem to be legit after all. the niners are the trendy pick here, so that is why i'm inclined to take the saints again here. however, i'd stay away if i were you.

atl (+1) over WAS (o/u - 38.5)
man i sure am taking a lot of road dogs. not a good philosophy. anyways, after winning the game on an electrifying 64 yard touchdown run, mike vick is going to unveil his new touchdown dance, where warrick dunn stands behind michael vick to make it look like he has four arms and hands and then they'll proceed to flip four birds to the crowd, thereby outdoing his bird flipping performance of last week. on the serious tip, it kinda galls me to hear everyone talk about how michael vick just can't win in the NFL. if your offensive coordinator can't put together an offense that takes full advantage of one othe best athletes of this century, then your problem isn't your quarterback. anyways, just taking the points here.

kc (-5.5) over CLE (o/u - 35.5)
i really want to take another home dog at some point, but not here. seriously, what does anyone see in charlie frye?

NE (-13.5) over det (o/u - 41.5)
back and forth on this one. i don't know, a lot of points, but i just feel like detroit has been screwing me all year.

dal (-3.5) over NYG (o/u - 43.5)
it's kinda weird, i feel like the giants and the cowboys have switched positions from the beginning of the year. for the giants, they were winning at the beginning of the year and everything was going great, whereas it was all T.O. all the time for the cowboys as they struggled early. now the cowboys are winning and no one even batted an eye when owens said that he thought cutting vanderjagt was a bad idea, and granted they're in new york, but there can't be enough things wrong with the giants ship right now. i might be jinxing this, but i'm pretty sure that the cowboys are going to roll here. the only thing that makes me nervous is that this is a must-win emotion game for the giants, and in football, those always seem to go the way of the desperate team.

oak (-3) over HOU (o/u - 35.5)
i have nothing to say about this game except that david carr is officially a bust. the texans seriously need to be contracted. houston doesn't deserve an NFL franchise.

sea (+4) over DEN (o/u - 40.5)
i know nothing about jay cutler except that he can't be worse than jake plummer. but that's really not saying much now is it. it's weird that people are saying that denver has to play cutler if denver is going to have any chance to win the super bowl. unless jay cutler is the next coming of johnny unitas, denver never had a chance in the first place.

car (-3) over PHI (o/u - 37.5)
i hate this pick because i'm pretty sure that the panthers are pretenders in this thing. the eagles for all intensive purposes have shut things down for this season, and this is a must win for the panthers so i'll think they win, but the panthers look like a wild card loser if i ever saw one.

bonus betting
$50 on chi-min over
$50 on dal-nyg under

$10 3 team parlay - dal/chi/kc
$10 3 team parlay - nyg/chi/kc
$10 4 team parlay - oak/sea/chi/kc
$10 4 team parlay - oak/sea/min/kc